“Sometimes it takes an expert to point out the obvious.”
(Scott Allen)

About a year ago I was at an event where those there were asked to do a relatively simply piece of mental arithmetic – we were then asked to explain the process that we had gone through to come up with our answer. Most of the group were shocked to find the number of different ways that people had come up with the same answer.

Even the most straight forward questions adding 2 numbers together had more than one way that people worked it out. Some worked it out one column at a time. Others rounded the original numbers up/down to make it an easier sum and amending the answer depending upon how much was gained/lost by the rounding. Different methods all producing the same answer.

Much of my work is about tailoring different techniques, methods and questions to the person with whom I am working. After all, everyone is unique so it makes sense to me that to be most effective my work should be tailored to suite each individual. It’s about getting the solutions that work for that person – the actual method is secondary.

This week I want to spend some time on the subject of what works for you, firstly with an example of a particular scenario and then you can play with something that’s specific for you. It’s prompted by a recent question asking for tips about interview nerves – or to be precise what they could do about them. The writer had read lots of different people all recommending breathing and nothing else.

Having recorded an MP3 called “dealing with interview nerves” I can assure you there are other things that you can do other then just breathing that will make a difference.

Any technique or knowledge is only useful if you use it and sometimes it is your awareness to put that into action that plays an important part. Generally the more you increase your awareness the earlier you can put into practice the technique.

The way that many writers suggest that you use any technique using breath is that it is used once you are already feeling nervous. Which relies on your awareness that you are feeling that and to remember to use that technique.

With practice people generally get quicker at being aware and remembering to alter their breathing. The thing I’ve noticed is that the easier and more natural that someone finds a technique the more likely they are to use it.

I will say at this point, that I highly recommend that you keep breathing – it has a pretty undesirable effect if you stop 😉 I have certainly included a technique that does involve breathing (plus some other cool stuff) on my Dealing with interview nerves MP3.

The most common piece of advice to combat interview nerves may be to breath but that doesn’t mean to say that it’s the only thing that works. Just like with a simple maths question there is more than one way to get to the answer.

When I sat down to create Dealing with Interview Nerves I wanted to offer something that tackled the major causes of interview nerves. I also wanted to produce something that offered a number of different ways of doing that. I knew that would increase the chances of the listener actually using them in real life without me being there to remind them.

It’s not that you have to practice every single technique over and over again – though the more that you do the easier and more natural it will become for you to implement it. I just believe in making it easy and using the things that work to which you are most naturally drawn. My aim, as with all of my work, is to provide the key to the solution that works for you.

So often people loose track of what they want to achieve by focusing upon the process or by giving up their own wisdom and intuition of what will work for them by looking for the “right” way to do something, rather than the one that works for you. They are so busy focusing on that “right” way that they miss other methods of getting the same results.

I did it myself the other day. I was writing a description of a training proposal I was creating for someone and couldn’t work out why I was having such problems getting it down onto paper. I soon realised that I was trying to follow a method of an “expert” I had recently heard talk and not following my own best judgement. While this “expert”s method worked for them their style just didn’t lend itself to this project. As soon as I stopped trying to do it the “right” way and adapted it to fit both my style and the people the training is for, it became much easier.

You may have noticed that each week I invite you to play with an idea, question or a technique and I deliberately use that language. It is there for it to be a catalyst for you, to facilitate what you want to achieve or change. If that means tweaking a part of it so that it is even stronger or works even better for you then I’m more than happy with that – the important part is that it works for you.

So this week I again invite you to play to find the thing that will work for you. Some parts may seem odd and that’s OK. I suggest that you play with each question and see what answers you get. It’s entirely up to you what context you pick to play with. Maybe it’s something new. Perhaps its something where you suspect you may have been getting caught up in doing something the “right” way rather then the way that works for you to get you to where you want to go.

You may want to use a pen and paper to make this easier to play with:

1. What do you want?
It’s your call but I suspect that this will be much more fun if you pick something you actually really want, not something you (or anyone else) thinks you “should” want.

Before we find the things that work for you, lets check out some of the different choices.

2. List as many ways that you can imagine to get what you want.
Remember you haven’t got to do any of them; we’re just looking at choices no matter how impractical.

3. If you haven’t already, now imagine the following coming to add their ideas to your list (make sure you add everything down that they suggest, even if its something that you immediately think isn’t for you.)
Your best friend
A family member
A role model
A multi-millionaire
An expert in getting what you want
Someone who is incredibly confident
Someone who is very happy to ask anybody and everybody for help
Someone with all the resources in the world available to them
Someone who is fearless
Someone with magic powers

4. Read back through your list and circle the things that appeal to you. Remember you are the expert on you. The best technique in the world is only useful if you actually use it and you’re probably far more likely to use something that you enjoy. (The added bonus is that it is also likely to feel much more natural quicker.)

5. What action could you take from this list? How could you do that?

6. What, if any, action will you do – Remember you are the expert on you, you are the one who will be taking the action.

Have a week full of the things that work for you

Love

Jen

This was orginally posted on www.YourChangingDirection.com