So decorations are up and Miracle on 34th Street has just aired on the television – it is that time of year. The festive season often brings situations and scenarios that you don’t find yourself in during the rest of the year. For some they totally enjoy and look forward to this, for others confidence issues can get in the way of looking forward to these times. A recent survey, for example, found that almost 1 in 3 office workers dread the office Christmas party. This month I thought I would briefly cover some practical tips to specifically deal with some of these situations. These are not an extensive list, just a few practical ways for you to play with and give you some more flexibility to choose to do something different this time.
- When you look in the mirror what is it that you say to yourself? Is it a variation of “yuck” or that your nose is too big or that you’re too skinny? If its something that isn’t particularly complimentary then I suspect that changing that will make a big difference. Notice what it is that your saying to yourself. Keep the same words repeat it to yourself again BUT this time use the silliest voice that you can imagine – whether that’s a cartoon character’s voice or just a really over exaggerated comedy voice notice if it has the same impact hearing that said in that tone. (For an extra bonus try moving the new silly voice off into the distance and see how different that is.)
Feeling unconfident about a particular event?
- Make life easy for yourself: if you already know that having your hair done or that wearing a particular outfit or pair of shoes gives you a boost then use it to your advantage.
- Plan to make sure that you have enough time to comfortably get ready before arriving, you’ll find it a lot easier if you are not running around like a mad thing at the very last minute. Do what you know works so that you arrive feeling more relaxed than stressed and flustered.
Feeling unconfident about the prospect of meeting an individual/family member?
- Again, lets make this as easy as possible. Is there is a particular individual who when you think about meeting them now results in you feeling unconfident? I’m presuming that this person is not physically with you at this moment so if you were feeling unconfident then it would suggest that the trigger was how you were thinking about them rather than anything they were doing at that moment.
You may find this easier to play with if you close your eyes and imagine the person whom you were feeling unconfident around. Without opening your eyes, point to where you are imagining that person.
Once you are pointing, open your eyes and notice if you are pointing above your eye-line, level or below your eye-line.
Most people find that if they are imagining someone above their eye-line that they feel intimidated by them. If this applies to you, as this is your brain, play with moving where you imagine that person. See how different it feels if you imagine that person at your eye-level or below your eye-level.
This may sound really simple, but it is amazing the effect it can have about how you are feeling about someone.
- Choose to spend more time around people that you feel good being around and less time around those who you don’t.
Have an exit strategy planned in advance should you want to use it – Some people report that just knowing how they can politely get out of a conversation or even the entire situation takes the pressure off and allows them to confidently focus on what is actually going on around them.
- Remember to breathe. Yes, I know that can sound simple and yet the rate and depth of how we breathe can impact massively upon how we are feeling. Use this to your advantage; if you notice that you are not feeling confident change the rate that you are breathing at (I suggest that you breath more slowly and deeply.) If you really want to go mad you could even add smiling at the same time.
These are just some of the ways that you can play with so that the events that you confidently choose to go to are far more enjoyable.
Have a wonderfully confident Festive celebrations.
Love
Jen
This was originally published on www.YourChangingDirection.com