Todays quote is:
“It was not till quite late in life that I discovered how easy it is to say: ‘I don’t know.'” (W. Somerset Maugham)
As coaches, we often encounter clients who express uncertainty with those very words. How we respond to this statement can profoundly impact the coaching process. In the past I’ve written a post answering “How do you deal with “I don’t know” as an answer to a coaching question?” at a more practical level so today’ I’ll look at it at a more general level. Let’s explore the nuances of the “I don’t know” response and how it serves as a gateway to growth and discovery in coaching.
The Two Faces of “I Don’t Know”:
When clients utter the words “I don’t know,” there are typically two underlying sentiments. The first often has a feeling of helplessness, where clients feel stuck and unable to generate fresh ideas or solutions despite their efforts. Here, our role as coaches is to provide gentle guidance, tapping into their inner wisdom and creativity to spark fresh insights and thoughts.
The second type of “I don’t know” is firmly grounded in reality, whether due to a lack of information or because the decision or answer is still evolving. If I think back to some of the trainings I did when I was starting out coaching, this type of situation was often ignored and more or less gave the suggestion to not take I don’t know as a reasonable answer.
Celebrating the ‘I Don’t Know’ Moments:
It’s essential for coaches to embrace and celebrate these “I don’t know” moments. They are not signs of weakness or failure but rather opportunities for growth and discovery. By acknowledging our own limitations and embracing uncertainty, we create a safe and supportive environment for our clients to explore, learn, and evolve.
Remembering our Humanity:
As coaches, it’s crucial to remember that we, too, don’t have all the answers. In fact, its not my job to have the answers but to meet the client where they are and explore – they after all are the expert on them. Embracing the vulnerability of not knowing allows us to connect more deeply with our clients and model authenticity and humility. Together, we navigate the uncertainties of life, celebrating the journey of growth and discovery along the way.
Conclusion:
In the realm of coaching, the phrase “I don’t know” holds profound significance. It serves as a catalyst for exploration, a reminder of our humanity, and a symbol of the inherent uncertainty of life. As coaches, let’s embrace and celebrate these moments, viewing them not as obstacles but as opportunities for growth, discovery, and transformation. By honoring our clients’ ‘I don’t know’ moments, we create space for profound insights, meaningful connections, and lasting change.
About Jen Waller
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.