I’ve had several conversations recently with individuals that have revolved around coaching “real people.”

Now if you, like me, have been known to take someone’s language literally that can conjure all sorts of mental images appropriate for the run up to Halloween of coaching seasons with zombies! However, what they actually mean is coaching someone outside of a coaching training season.

For some reason many seem to have equated any coaching conversations that they have had in a training season as being a “role play” Apparently, the person that they were coaching was not using a real situation and giving fake answers.

When asked if they were given the brief to do a role-play, I’ve not had one person tell me that yes that was what they were told to do. When I also check if they had also been a coachee, the answer is normally yes and they had used a real life situation.

If you have found yourself in a similar situation, possibly feeling some fear and apprehension, I have a question for you. What if, you had already coached real people? What would you do differently if that was the case?

Sometimes what individuals tell themselves is that it will be different if the client doesn’t have an existing knowledge of the coaching model you have been taught to use. (Presuming that you are using a model.)

It’s true that someone without any knowledge of the coaching model may be confused if you use “jargon” or “terminology”. So you can either explain what any terminology means or just phrase it using language that they do understand.

In my experience the main difference is that someone without an interest in the skills of coaching is that they are not focusing at all upon how you are working, the questions you are asking etc. Their interest is about the outcome of your conversation not the techniques you’ve used.

Other people think that when they work with “real people” that they have to prove that coaching works. Personally I find that focusing on proving coaching works generally adds extra pressure and shifts the focus away from the individual in front of you and being of assistance to them. I find that the more I focus on being of service to my clients the more of a positive impact that conversation can have and, if they want it, provides more proof that coaching works.

This is often connected to using free sessions as part of your marketing strategy. I’m not advising not to use that as part of your approach – If that works for you then, of course, by all means keep using it. I will offer the suggestion that you can demonstrate and see if you and your potential client are a good match without focusing on proving coaching works.

Moving forward coaching “real people”

If you have found yourself stuck because you have some fear or apprehension about coaching a “real person” here are some possible ways you could move forward:

• Take a small step to get the momentum going. That will be unique to you but perhaps coaching someone with coaching experience that wasn’t on your coaching training is one option.
• Take a large leap – “feel the fear and do it anyway.” Do a coaching season with someone who you think is “real”!
• Recognise you already have been coaching “real people” and choose to invite people who you think it would be fun to coach.
• Find a coach/mentor you are comfortable with to work with you

There will be other approaches you could take and if none of the above appeals, then the following question may be of use:

What would have to happen for you to coach “real people”?

Or (if you’re feeling particularly daring 😉 )

What would have to happen for you to feel comfortable coaching “real people”?

Feel free to share your answers and thoughts below and click submit comment.