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Reflecting on Anticipation: Navigating Expectations in Coaching and Life

 in quote  tagged Amelia Earhart / anticipation / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / expectations / quote / reflecting
On the left of this image is a black and white photo of Amelia Earhar taken in March 1937 when she was 39 years old. It is a photo showing her head and shoulders with what is apparently the nose of her plane in the background. She is a white woman with short brown hair standing facing forward and grinning at the camera. She is wearing what looks like the a flight jacket open with a checked collared shirt that is open at the collar. She is wearing a neck tie around her neck. The text to the right reads: It's Thursday! Today's #QuoteOfTheDay is: “Anticipation, I suppose, sometimes exceeds realization.” (Amelia Earhart)A handfull of #QuestionsForCoaches prompted by this quote is: How does anticipation play a role in shaping our perceptions and experiences? On the left of this image is a black and white photo of Amelia Earhar taken in March 1937 when she was 39 years old. It is a photo showing her head and shoulders with what is apparently the nose of her plane in the background. She is a white woman with short brown hair standing facing forward and grinning at the camera. She is wearing what looks like the a flight jacket open with a checked collared shirt that is open at the collar. She is wearing a neck tie around her neck.The text to the right reads: “Anticipation, I suppose, sometimes exceeds realization.” (Amelia Earhart)

It’s Thursday! Today’s quote is:

“Anticipation, I suppose, sometimes exceeds realization.” (Amelia Earhart)

This quote first prompted me to reflect on managing expectations and anticipation, particularly within the context of coaching relationships. Over my years of coaching experience, I’ve observed that certain aspects can hinder our ability to fully engage and benefit from our time together. Speaking to other coaches it seems that we often notice a common theme that can trip our clients up. It’s not the same thing for every coach and their clients but there’s usually something that we can take action to minimise from the start.

For example, one common challenge I found when working with coaches, especially those new to coaching, is that they could sometimes become overly preoccupied with analyzing the reasons behind specific questions rather than focusing on their own responses. It was completly understandable as many of them credited feeling a lack of confidence down to thinking that they needed a better understanding of questions and what to ask when. etc

Recognizing this tendency, I’ve adopted a proactive approach to address it. Before starting our first session together, I usually initiate a conversation with clients, about how to get the best from our time together. It’s at that stage I set the expectation that if I do revisit certain questions it doesn’t imply a lack of preparation or doubt in their initial answers. Instead, it’s an acknowledgment of the dynamic nature of coaching conversations and the potential for transformative insights to emerge in unexpected moments. By setting this expectation upfront, clients with limited coaching experience can shift their focus from overanalyzing to simply engaging with the questions in the present moment.

This proactive approach with a different set up meant that anticipation and expectation was managed. It is now not something that often comes up as something that gets in the way of our coaching clients. I’ve heard other coaches have similar conversations about it being OK to take a moment to answer a question – there’s no need to rush if it’s soemthing a client has never considered before. So if there’s a common trend you see with many of your clients – is it something that would bennefit from having a conversation about before you start?

Reflecting on the interplay between anticipation and realization also led me to explore the broader implications of our thought patterns on our present moment experiences. In the realm of coaching and beyond, our subjective reality is profoundly influenced by the quality of our thoughts in any given moment. By recognizing the transient nature of thought and its direct impact on our perceptions, we gain the capacity to navigate life’s uncertainties with greater clarity and resilience.

Consider, for instance, the common scenario of anticipating future outcomes. When we become overly fixated on hypothetical scenarios or expectations, we risk diluting our present experience with unnecessary worry or anticipation. Instead, by cultivating mindfulness and embracing the inherent wisdom of the present moment, we can navigate uncertainty with grace and equanimity.

Furthermore, acknowledging the role of thought in shaping our experiences opens the door to a deeper understanding of resilience and well-being. Rather than attributing our emotional state solely to external circumstances, we recognize that our inner resilience stems from our innate capacity to navigate the ebb and flow of life’s challenges with grace and resilience.

In conclusion, Amelia Earhart’s timeless quote serves as a poignant reminder of the intricate relationship between anticipation and realization. By embracing the fluidity of the present moment and cultivating a deeper understanding of our thought patterns, we can navigate life’s uncertainties with clarity, resilience, and wisdom.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Start Strong: Empowering Coaching Through Self-Initiation

 in quote  tagged action / coach / coaches / coaching / Madam C J Walker / quote / start
On the left of the image is a photograph of Madam C J Walker. This is a photo in sepia colours and was taken around 1914. An African American woman is sat side on. If the date is correct that makes Madam C J Walker 47 at the time she posed for this photo. Her hair looks like it is in a bob style with a side parting. She is wearing drop style earings and a matching necklace. The top she is wearing looks like it is a delicate white fabric with a v neckline. The text to the right reads: “I got my start by giving myself a start.” (Madam C J Walker - entrepreneur, activist and philanthropist)

Happy Wednesday! Today’s quote is:

“I got my start by giving myself a start.” (Madam C J Walker – entrepreneur, activist and philanthropist)

One of the things that I often see, and if I’m honest also done myself, is to get stuck before even starting on a project. We can overthink so much that we never actually get round to taking any action to get that start.

Perhaps you overthink because you think you need to know every single step before you take any action and the thing that’s keeping you stuck is that there’s parts you don’t yet know. With coaches I often see this showing up as thinking they need to know what every single question that will be asked will be before the client steps through the door or onto a call. It’s not at all uncommon for some steps to not be obvious until the step before is completed. Just like with a coaching conversation – how would you know what would be an appropriate follow up question to the previous answer until you have heard what the actual answer is!

Perhaps you think you know what every single step in the future is going to be, but it just seems totally overwhelming. I recently spoke to someone who was feeling overwhelmed at a project about reorganising their office space. The sheer list of everything they thought it would involve was exhausting. In reality when they settled in to make a start on just the very first step – adding in some joyful music they actually found that it wasn’t the draining exercise that they had expected and made a significant impact into the project within the first session rather than the imagined days.

In the realm of coaching, the journey often begins with a single step – a step propelled not by external forces, but by the choice of the individual. It doesn’t need to be a huge step (though for some it can be) it could be something that seems incredibly small but taking enough incredibly small steps, and you find that momentum follows.

Initiate Action: Self-starting is about more than just dreaming – it’s about taking action. As a coach, don’t wait for the perfect moment or the ideal circumstances to begin your journey. Start where you are, with what you have. Whether it’s launching a coaching program, writing a book, or establishing your online presence, the key is to take that first step. Remember, the path to success is paved by action, not by idle contemplation. I invite you to allow yourself to experiment and to give yourself the freedom to learn without the added pressure of a self impossed expectation of perfection.

Cultivate Resilience: The journey of self-starting is not without its challenges. There will be setbacks, obstacles, and moments of doubt along the way. However, it’s essential to cultivate resilience and perseverance in the face of adversity. Madam C.J. Walker faced numerous obstacles on her path to success, including poverty, discrimination, and health issues. Yet, she refused to be deterred, demonstrating unwavering resilience in pursuit of her goals.

What is resisilience? Well, one dictionary definition is “the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties.” I think the key to resilence is not giving too much meaning to the percieved challenge/obstacle.

If you have ever watched a small child learn to walk their focus is usually upon getting where they want to be heading in that moment – at some stage they have tried crawling or the “bum shuffle” and move on to trying to get there by standing and walking on their feet. If they topple over they dont have a story about what that means, that they obviously just weren’t meant to be a walker and give up.

What if, as an adult, we just look at an obstical as part of our journey without attributing some extra meaning about our own value in that? Would that make just taking the next step easier?

Forge Your Own Path: In a world filled with conformity and convention, self-starting requires the courage to forge your own path. Don’t be afraid to deviate from the norm or challenge the status quo. Madam C.J. Walker defied societal expectations of the time and blazed a trail for future generations of entrepreneurs, particularly women and African Americans. She broke percieved barriers and could inspire individuals from diverse backgrounds. What if you dared to be different? Innovate, experiment, and pioneer new approaches in your field or business. Remember, the most rewarding journeys are often those less traveled.

Empower Others Along the Way: True success is not measured solely by individual achievements but by the impact we have on others. Madam C.J. Walker understood the importance of lifting others as she climbed, empowering countless individuals through her business ventures, activism, and philanthropy. As a coach, I think our role naturally allows us to choose to strive to empower and uplift those you encounter on your journey, should you wish. Maybe it’s about sharing your knowledge, mentorship, and resources with others, paying forward the support you’ve received along the way.

In conclusion, the quote, “I got my start by giving myself a start,” encapsulates the essence of self-starting for coaches. Embrace the entrepreneurial spirit, initiate action, cultivate resilience, forge your own path, and empower others along the way. By embodying these principles, you’ll not only chart a course for your own success but also inspire others to embark on their own transformative journeys.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Seizing Opportunity: Discovering Hidden Gems in Daily Life

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) / opportunity / present / quote
On the left there is a black and white photo of Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach. It was taken around 1900 when she would have been around 60 years old. She is wearing a dark coloured embellished Victorian blouse with what looks like a lace stiyle detailing in a v shaped across the front. Her hair is fastened back and she is looking straight at the camera. As is fairly typical for such photos of this type she is not smiling. The text to the right reads: "Nothing is so often and so irrevocably missed as the opportunity which crops up daily." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach)

Happy Tuesday! Today’s quote is:

“Nothing is so often and so irrevocably missed as the opportunity which crops up daily.” (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach)

The thing that struck me about this quote is how often we can miss what is right in front of us. It’s not just opportunities but things that we just don’t think to question because it is so normal to us.

Our brain may highlight something that is out of the norm, causing us to consciously notice it. However, we may overlook the things that blend into the background.

In what can seem our fast-paced lives, it’s easy to overlook the small, seemingly insignificant moments that present themselves each day. We get caught up in the routines and demands of daily life, often failing to pause and consider the possibilities that lie within each moment. Yet, as Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach reminds us, these daily opportunities, however subtle they may seem, can have a profound impact on our lives if we’re willing to recognize and seize them.

Consider the moments in your own life where you may have missed opportunities simply because you were too preoccupied or distracted to notice them. Perhaps it was a chance encounter with a potential mentor, a new idea that sparked your curiosity, or a small act of kindness that went unnoticed. These missed opportunities may seem insignificant at the time, but they could have led to new paths, insights, or connections if only we had been more attentive.

This isn’t a post to give you yet another opportunity to mentally beat yourself up – many of us are already very good at that and I’m going to invite you to give yourself a break about that. So, how can we become more attuned to the opportunities that crop up daily? By slowing down and being present in each moment, as best you can, we can train ourselves to notice the subtle cues and possibilities that surround us.

You’ve probably noticed that when you’re feeling pressured, when your brain is busy overthinking and stressed, then your focus is elsewhere and it’s easy to miss small and regular details. When you’re more present it may mean being open to new experiences, being curious about the world around us, and being willing to step outside of our comfort zones.

Additionally, being open to challenge our assumptions and question the status quo can make a difference. Just because something has always been done a certain way doesn’t mean it’s the only way or the best way. By questioning the norms and exploring alternative perspectives, we create space for innovation and growth.

Ultimately, embracing the opportunities that present themselves daily requires a willingness to embrace uncertainty and take calculated risks. It means being open to the unknown and trusting in our ability to adapt and learn from each experience. So, as you go about your day today, I encourage you to keep an eye out for those subtle opportunities that may be waiting just around the corner. Who knows what possibilities they may hold?

This quote is a powerful reminder of the opportunities we often overlook in our daily lives. It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle, and ignore the chances that life provides us to grow, learn, and make a difference, however small it might be. Let’s make an effort to seize those moments, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Remember, every opportunity is a stepping stone towards creating a better version of ourselves and a brighter future. Have a wonderful day everyone!

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Living in the Present: Welcoming the Wisdom of Each Moment

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / living in the present / quote / Sarah Orne Jewett / Thought
The left half of this image is taken up with a photo of Sarah Orne Jewett. It dates from around 1894 so the image is in blacks and greys. It shows a white woman in her mid 40s with her brown hair pinned up. She is wearing a dark coloured simple sleeved blouse with largish round buttons and a largish dark ribbon tied at her neck over the collar position of the top. Although her body is facing forward she is looking to the left of the image.The text to the right reads: "'Tain't worthwhile to wear a day all out before it comes." (Sarah Orne Jewett)

Happy Monday! Today’s quote is:

“‘Tain’t worthwhile to wear a day all out before it comes.” (Sarah Orne Jewett)

This beautiful quote reminds us to welcome the importance of living in the present moment, rather than allowing worries about the future to consume us.

In the fast-paced world, where schedules can be packed and our expectations are high, it’s easy to fall into the trap of constantly worrying about what tomorrow might bring. We can get caught in loops of stacking one thought and the meaning we’ve given that thought on top of each other. Yet, as we explore the essence of this quote, we can uncover profound insights into the transformative power of embracing the present moment.

Living in the present

Which leads to the question of what is living in the present moment like? Before I take a moment to share a few words, what is your answer to that wondering?

For me, when I ponder that it’s just being present. Often my thoughts are quieter and not as loud and demanding but sometimes they can still be going past but without my activley metaphorically grabbing at some and not letting it go. I’m often fully focused upon the one thing in front of me. I’m not living in memories from the past or using those memories to project out into the future to imagine a story of what could be coming up.

Which suggests that it is the quality of our thinking in the moment that makes a huge impact. When we become caught up in worry and anticipation, we are living in a virtual reality of our own making, disconnected from the richness and depth of the present moment.I don’t mean that this is another job to add to our mental to-do list and change all our thinking – it can be far more relaxed than that. It’s about begining to notice when you are getting caught up and as best you can in that moment relaxing back into present. My suggestion would be to skip any beating yourself up for forgetting and just go back to noticing.

This constant mental chatter creates unnecessary stress and robs us of the joy and fulfillment that can be found in the present. But the truth is, all we have is today. So why spend it consumed by worries about tomorrow?

As coaches, I see our role as guiding our clients on a journey of self-discovery and transformation, helping them unlock the wisdom and potential that resides within them. We can empower them to release the grip of worry and anxiety and return to the simplicity and clarity of the present moment.

Thoughts are naturally transient and ever-changing, just like clouds passing in the sky. By cultivating a deeper understanding of their own innate resilience, clients can learn to trust in the unfolding of life and embrace each moment with an open heart and mind.

Ultimately, the quote by Sarah Orne Jewett serves as a powerful reminder that life is meant to be lived fully in the present. So let’s make a commitment to embrace each day as it comes, trusting and welcoming the wisdom of the present moment and allowing ourselves to fully experience the beauty and joy that surrounds us.

Have a wonderful Monday, everyone!

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Journeying Towards Truth: Reflections on Coaching and Personal Growth

 in quote
This image has a space theme. The colouts are blacks, reds, greens, yellows and white in similar effects as the northern lights can be seen with the naked eye. In the centre of this image is a white glow and surrounded by a circle of colours that are clearer, less blended and more focuses than most of the rest of the "space" in this image. Various concentric circles are drawn radiate out from that one point. On the outer edges are several planets. On a glowing mound we can see an outline of a human stood looking up towards this glowing point in the centre of the image. The text reads: "Truth is the ultimate end of the whole universe." (Thomas Aquinas)

Happy Sunday! Today’s quote is

“Truth is the ultimate end of the whole universe.” (Thomas Aquinas)

The aspect of this quote that immediately caught my attention was the term “truth.” It may seem obvious, but I believe that coaching sessions are more effective when the responses provided are honest.

Each situation is different and some of reasons I can think of that could result in a client not being truthful are: Sometimes, a client might adhere to a certain narrative to maintain their dignity, or because they are uncomfortable revealing their actual situation. In other instances, they might simply be unable to perceive the real circumstances and thus, their responses reflect their own perception of their world. (As I write this I am reminded that I wrote a post all about believing clients several years ago. Whilst my coaching has evolved since then much of that post I still think is valid – you can read “Do you always believe your coaching client?” here.)

Considering the concept of truth in the broader sense as presented in this quote, it aligns with my current coaching methodology. Truth is not just the ultimate goal; it’s a journey of self-realization and personal growth. The objective isn’t just to uncover the truth, but to aid the client in understanding, accepting, and acting on their truth. The idea is to create a safe space where they can remove their masks, narratives, and preconceptions they’ve built around themselves – that may seem true to them but discovering the real them under all of that is a real gift.

In this pursuit of personal truth, it’s crucial to remember that everyone’s truth is individual and profoundly personal. The aim isn’t to impose a generic truth on someone, but to guide them towards discovering their own truth. This is what makes coaching special – it’s an exploration, a journey, and ultimately, a transformation towards one’s personal truth.

Then there is the truth in the bigger sense, the Universal Truth – the things that are true in everyone’s experience. Gravity, for example, still has the same pull on everyone and everything in the same conditions. Universal truth transcends individual perspectives and cultural beliefs, offering timeless principles that are applicable across all contexts and circumstances. It serves as the foundation upon which we build our understanding of the world and our place within it, providing a framework for navigating life’s complexities with clarity and wisdom.

So, here’s to all of us persistently striving to seek, accept, and live our truth. May it direct our actions and illuminate our way. Have a wonderful Sunday!

Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Finding Inner Peace: Reflections on Pythagoras’ Wisdom and Self-Acceptance

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / Pythagoras / quote / rest / self-acceptance
This is an illustration of a boat floating on a calm lake. In the distance on the skyline you can see some rolling hills whick are reflected on the lakes water. A warm glow is coming from the sun in a clear blue sky with the occasional whispy white cloud. The text reads: "Rest satisfied with doing well, and leave others to talk of you as they please." (Pythagoras)

Today’s quote is:

“Rest satisfied with doing well, and leave others to talk of you as they please.” (Pythagoras)

Three elements lept out at me with this quote. First I wonder how many read this and focused upon their feelings towards the author? Did your mind wander to any familiarity with mathematics and Pythagorean theorem? If so, did your feelings towards that overshadowing the message behind the quote itself?

Half of my universary degree was in mathematics. For some people hearing that would produce an almost comical reaction – it was as if I had grown an extra head or something. They just couldn’t comprehend why I would voluntarily have chosen that as a subject. Whilst I could write a lot about my opinions of how many education systems turn kids off from mathematics, thats not the topic of today’s post. I will stick to saying I know that many people have negative connotations with the subject. So I wondered if the quote was by someone who many associate with the mathematics schooling, would it “hit” differently?

I suspect that could be a topic for a blog post in its own right. But for today I’m just going to highlight it as a possibility and invite you to take a second, fresh look at the quote and notice what occurs to you.

Secondly, the notion of ‘rest’ in Pythagoras’ words struck a chord within me. It reminded me of those moments of tranquility, where the cacophony of thoughts fades into silence, akin to the serene moments before drifting into sleep. In these instances, there’s a sense of neither satisfaction nor dissatisfaction; rather, it’s a state of pure being.

I happened to read this quote at the end of a “long day”, it prompted me to take a moment to “rest” in that stillness, as best I could and see what I knew to do. Amidst the chaos of a busy day, finding solace in these quiet moments can offer valuable insights into our inner needs and desires.

Self-Acceptance: Reflecting on Pythagoras’ Wisdom

Today’s quote by Pythagoras invites us to explore the concept of self-acceptance and find contentment in our actions. Which is why the third aspect that stood out to me in Pythagoras’ quote is the fear of judgment. It’s a sentiment that seems to resonates deeply, especially in today’s society where the fear of being scrutinized and criticized often holds us back from fully embracing ourselves and our potential. In my interactions with clients, I’ve noticed a recurring theme recently of apprehension towards judgment, whether it be from peers, colleagues, or even from within themselves. This fear of judgment can be paralyzing, hindering our ability to express ourselves authentically and pursue our passions wholeheartedly.

As coaches, I feel that its an important part of my work that I do what I can create a safe and non-judgmental space for our clients, where they feel empowered to explore their thoughts, emotions, and aspirations freely. By fostering an environment of acceptance and understanding, we can help alleviate the fear of judgment and encourage our clients to embrace their true selves even if it seems to them they need confidence and courage to do that.

In conclusion, Pythagoras’ timeless wisdom serves as a reminder to find contentment in our actions, that self-acceptance, regardless of external opinions or judgments. It encourages us to cultivate moments of stillness amidst the chaos of life and to confront our fears of judgment with resilience and self-assurance. Let us rest satisfied in our endeavors, and leave others to form their opinions as they may.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

The Power of Inquiry: Exploring the Simplicity of Asking Hard Questions

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / hard questions / questions / quote / W.H. Auden
A 3D red question mark is laid flat on the ground at an angle. A 3D model in the shape of a human but without any features is sat at the bottom part of the hook portion of the question mark. They are hunched forward, left elbow on left knee and chin resting on their left fist. Their right arm is across their legs with that hand clasping the left elbow. The text reads: "To ask the hard question is simple" (W. H. Auden)

This quote should have been posted on 9th Feb but for some reason missed out on being scheduled – despite being written! So here is a post all about hard questions before we move into a new month.

“To ask the hard question is simple” (W. H. Auden)

As a coach, this statement resonates deeply because, despite the diversity in coaching styles, one common thread is the art of asking questions. This quote led me to ponder what constitutes a “hard question” and how our perspectives on challenging inquiries can evolve.

Defining the “Hard Question”:

What do you consider a “hard question”? The answer may not be as straightforward as it seems. As coaches, our definitions of difficulty can shift over time and with varied experiences. Initially, a hard question might be one that challenges preconceived notions or requires introspection. However, as our thinking evolves, the difficulty may shift to articulating complex thoughts rather than finding a one-size-fits-all answer.

The Perspective Shift:

Consider this: Does your definition of a “hard question” change when you imagine yourself on the receiving end? Empathy plays a significant role in many approaches to coaching, and recognizing the potential challenges your clients face in answering difficult questions allows you to approach coaching with a deeper understanding. This shift in perspective can influence the way you frame inquiries, fostering a more empathetic and constructive coaching environment.

Evolution of Questioning:

Reflecting on personal growth, I’ve observed how questions I once deemed “hard” are now perceived as opportunities for exploration. It’s less about finding a daunting question and more about articulating thoughts that inherently resist one-size-fits-all solutions. The evolution in questioning aligns with the dynamic nature of coaching, highlighting the importance of adaptability in our approach.

Asking the “Hard Questions”:

Now, let’s explore the act of asking “hard” questions. For me, the definition has evolved over time. Rather than labeling questions as “hard,” it’s about considering the appropriateness and impact of each inquiry. Questions occasionally occur to me, and while I may refine the wording, the essence remains. Asking challenging questions becomes a far more simple yet powerful act, as it is rooted in genuine curiosity and a commitment to supporting the client’s growth.

What I do find is personally, if I’m caught up in my thinking rather than how I ususally am focused on my client than I tend to view far more questions as “hard” – I can get drawn into stories about what they may think if I ask a specific question or if it’s the right time to “push” harder.

What About You?

Consider this quote’s prompt for you. What do you define as a “hard question,” and has that definition shifted over time? How do you approach asking challenging questions, and does your perspective change when you imagine yourself on the receiving end? Share your reflections and insights below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.

Fresh questions = new insights?

 in quote  tagged coach / coaches / coaching / fresh questions / insight / quote
In the background is a white background blending into a blue sky. A treasure chest is locates with the base located midway up and to the right of the image. It's rounded lid is partially open with a gloden glow coming from within. In the front left corner of the image is a stick figure drawn with think black lines who has their back to the chest. They have their right leg bent and resting upon a black raised rectangle and they are holding a pair of binoculars, looking out to the left. The text reads: "Take heed you do not find what you do not seek." (English Proverb)

Today’s quote is actually a proverb:

“Take heed you do not find what you do not seek.” (English proverb)

This timeless wisdom resonates deeply in our fast-paced world, where we often find ourselves seeking answers to questions that may not truly address our underlying concerns.

As coaches, we understand the frustration that arises when our efforts to find solutions only lead to dead ends. We’ve all experienced moments of perplexity, where it seems like the harder we search, the further we drift from clarity.

But what if one key to unlocking new insights lies not in relentless searching, but in the art of asking fresh questions?

Pause for a moment and quiet your mind, as best you can, in this moment. In the stillness, ask what would be really useful for you to get a new thought about? What fresh questions would be useful for you to ask?

Just as altering the phrasing of a Google search can yield a wealth of diverse results, so too can reframing our internal queries lead to unexpected discoveries. Embrace the power of introspection and self-inquiry and allow yourself to access your own creativity and wisdom.

It’s natural to feel hesitant about embracing unfamiliar questions. After all, we’re creatures of habit, drawn to the comfort of the familiar. But true growth lies beyond the confines of our comfort zone. By challenging ourselves to explore new perspectives, we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities.

Fresh questions

So, what questions are worth asking? That’s for you to decide. Perhaps you’re grappling with a complex problem at work, struggling to find a solution that eludes you. Instead of dwelling on the same tired inquiries, consider approaching the issue from a fresh angle. Are you trying to find an answer for an outcome that you dont have total control over as opposed to looking for ways that increase the probability of that event happening – For example “a business service making money” as oppose to how to “inviting people to experience your service”.

Remember, it only takes one new thought to shift your perspective and illuminate a path forward. By embracing curiosity and openness, you empower yourself to uncover hidden truths and forge new pathways to success.

As coaches, we have a unique opportunity to guide others on this transformative journey of self-discovery. Through thoughtful questioning and active listening, we can help our clients navigate the maze of their own minds and unearth the answers that lie within.

In conclusion, let us heed the wisdom of the ages and take heed not to find what we do not seek. Instead, let us embrace the power of fresh questions to illuminate our path and inspire meaningful change. For in the pursuit of new insights lies the promise of growth, fulfillment, and a life truly lived.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.