Guest Post

Psychological Triggers To Convert Subscribers Into Coaching Clients

8 June 2018 in Guest Post tagged business / business building / client acquisition / clients / coaching / marketing / subscribers

In today’s guest post, Client Acquisition Strategist, Davis Lin focuses upon the popular question of how to get coaching clients, specifically looking at:

Psychological Triggers To Convert Subscribers Into Coaching Clients

by Davis Lin

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To turn your ideal clients, who do not yet know about you and your service, into paying clients for your coaching business, there are just two steps:

Step 1: Capture the attention of your ideal clients and get them as email subscribers
Step 2: Build a relationship with them, and turn them into coaching clients

Now that you have already gotten them as subscribers, you have already won half the battle. By now, they would already know what it is that you do, and you have also piqued their interests a little on how you can help them get the results they want.

The next step is to compound the value you give through your email sequence, and to do that you have to know how to pull the right psychological triggers to get them to sign up for your coaching.

As such, here are 4 psychological triggers you can start using today to turn your subscribers into paying coaching clients.

1. Make Problems Urgent

One of the most common concepts of human behaviours is that we are driven by the need to avoid pain and to gain pleasure. However often time, the desire to avoid pain is greater than trying to gain pleasure.

For example, I always wanted to go to the gym on a regular basis to help myself keep fit and look good, so I would set a regime to go to the gym at least two to three times a week. At first, I was able to stick to this regime for a couple of months. But as time went by, I found myself skipping gym more and more until I was only going just once a month.

However, just only a few months later, something happened that made me go to the gym every single day without fail. That was when I began to show symptoms that resemble those of diabetes. I started to fear I might actually have diabetes, and this fear led me to research everything I could on diabetes. Through my research, I found out that exercising would be the best way to lower the blood sugar and hence keep the disease at bay. Because of that, I started to go to gym again every single day without fail for a month, even when I didn’t know for sure that I had diabetes!

Fortunately, after several tests and doctor visits, I was relieved to know that I didn’t have diabetes at all. All of a sudden, the urgency to go to the gym every single day was no longer there. As you might have guessed it right, I went back to going to the gym only once or twice a month subsequently.

You see, the main reason why people come to you is because they have a problem they want to solve. However, not many people may realise the actual weight of their problem and the consequences of not resolving it. As such, they do not feel the urgent need to take action and get their problems solved immediately.

This is where you as the coach need to let them realise the weight and urgency of their problems. You do that by targeting and agitating the big pains they are going through, and highlighting the consequences of not having their problems solved.

For me, it was when I realised that I might have diabetes, and the possibility of me not being able to look after my family. The thought of that was so painful that it made me want to urgently do whatever I could to prevent it from happening.

This is also how you want to let your subscribers feel about their problems as well. So, understanding the exact pains and problems that your ideal clients are going through is important to get them to want to take action.

When they realise the urgency of their problems, and know that not resolving them will cause immense pain, it will compel them to seek a solution. And that’s where you come in.

2. Give Hope

Now, that you have agitated the pains your subscribers are going through, and have let them see that they need to take action, they now yearn for a solution.

It has been said that “when there is no vision, the people perish”. Even one of the most popular quotes in Star Wars is “Rebellions are built on hope”.

Hope is a very powerful emotion. This is why you want to give hope to your subscribers through a step-by-step solution that takes them from where they are right now, to where they want to be.

When you present your solution in a step-by-step fashion, it shows your ideal clients a clear roadmap to their destination, and it gets them excited with the idea of getting the results with your help and coaching.

It will also allow you to be seen as an expert with the knowledge and know-how to help them with their problems and guide them to where they want to be.

For example, if you are a career coach who helps stay-at-home mothers get back to the corporate world after many years, you can talk about the steps they can take to go from homemaker to a highly desirable job candidate for the job they want to apply.

By doing this, it gives clarity, confidence and hope to them that it is entirely possible to make it happen.

Hope is a strong motivating factor in making a buying decision. Because if we don’t first believe there is a possibility to get our problem solved, we would never engage the service of the coach.

3. Inspire With Proof

After showing them the step-by-step solution, you want to back it up with proof that it actually works. That is why social proof is an important element in getting your ideal clients to sign up for your coaching. In fact, it is one of the six principles of persuasion in Dr. Robert Cialdini’s book, Influence.

And the best way to do this is by sharing with them all the case studies and success stories of your previous clients. When you detail the case studies and success stories of your previous clients, it will let your subscribers see what is possible for them if they work with you.

The more detailed you are in the case studies, the more it can help your ideal clients relate with your past clients.

For example, if you are a relationship coach that helps people with their love life, you can talk about the problems that a past client went through, and how they eventually overcame them with your coaching. So, when people with very similar problems see what you had done for your past clients, it would give them the confidence that their problems can too be solved by working with you.

Furthermore, it holds more credibility and trust when the recommendation comes from other people, especially people who were once in a similar situation as them.

But what if you’re just starting out and don’t have any clients yet?

Then, what you can do is to show a case study of how you personally overcame a problem that many of your ideal clients are facing, and then show how you got to where you are now. It is equally powerful, if not more powerful, because it shows that you too have experienced the same problems as them and they would be able to relate more to you.

When you are able to show case studies, it inspires your ideal clients to see that if it’s possible for others who were once in a similar situation, then it’s possible for them as well. Because of that, it will get them compelled to get help from you.

4. Overcome Their Fears

Before people make any buying decision, it is common for them to have fears that they might not be making the right decision. This fear arises from unresolved concerns about your coaching offer. So, to help them overcome their fears, you need to adequately address their concerns and objections.

But first you need to understand what their concerns are. One simple way to find out is to ask them. Ask them what is holding them back from taking up your coaching offer. Make sure that you get them to tell you all the objections they have in mind.

The next step would be to address their objections one by one by reframing it. Reframing lets you to use what your potential clients have said to craft your response. This way, it makes it very hard for them to disagree with it.

So let’s say that one of the common objections that you get is that they are busy and don’t have the time for it. Then you can say that you have a coaching package that is specially designed for busy professionals and it only requires very little of their time – one hour each week for them to work with you ( Of course, this has to be true). Out of this one hour of their time, you then emphasize again how much value and benefits they can get from your coaching.

Once you have overcome these fears that the have in their mind, then there would be nothing holding them back from signing up with you.

Building Your Coaching Business For Long-Term Success

Too often, people want to get immediate results from their efforts. That means that if they have a subscriber today, they are hoping they would sign up for their coaching packages by tomorrow. And if that doesn’t happen, they give up on that subscriber and focus on getting more new subscribers, and they wonder why they are not getting more clients.

However, that approach would be too myopic because not everyone is ready at the same time. For example, I had a subscriber who signed up to my newsletter for a year before he became a paying client. When I asked him why it took him a year to join my coaching, he said that it’s because his situation just wasn’t right for him to engage my service at that point in time.

However, because I had continued to give him value each day even after a year, he eventually decided to take up my coaching when his situation allowed him to.

Had I instead just unsubscribed all those that have been on my list for more than a couple of months but never bought from me, then I would have missed the opportunity to get him on as a client.

Therefore, as much as we want our subscribers to become clients as quickly as possible, the fact is that not everyone is ready for your coaching when you want them to be. But if you approach your business with a long-term mindset and aim to nurture the relationship you have with them over time, then you will find that you will be able to sign on more clients from people who have been on your list for a long time.

About Davis Lin

davis profile pic 150 wide Davis Lin is a Client Acquisition Strategist and Founder of Client Acquisition Lab. He is very passionate about helping coaches and consultants upgrade and automate their client acquisition process, so they can spend more time doing what they do best – helping their clients, and still get more clients at the same time. To find out more, you can download his Client Acquisition Blueprint for FREE here.

Taking a Fresh Perspective on Supervision

4 May 2018 in Guest Post tagged Anna-Marie Watson / coaching / supervision

In today’s guest post performance coach and coach supervisor Anna-Marie Watson shares some of her experience and knowledge….

Taking a Fresh Perspective on Supervision

By Anna-Marie Watson

What is supervision?

“Supervision is the interaction that occurs when a coach periodically brings their coaching work experiences to a coaching supervisor in order to engage in reflective dialogue and collaborative learning for the development and benefit of the coach and their clients”

(Murdoch, 2013)

“Supervision is the process by which a coach with the help of a supervisor, who is not working directly with the client, can attend to understanding better both the client system and themselves as part of the client-coach system, and transform their work”

(Hawkins and Smith, 2006)

Taking a step back to basics, coaching supervision can be split into three distinct parts:

3Rs Supervision

REFRESH

The majority of coaches work solo (unless you integrate an element of co-coaching into your practice) so at some point it’s inevitable you become drawn towards a particular approach, method, or style. That can even break down to “favourite” questions and tools that may reveal more about your preferences than what your client actually needs. Supervision presents the opportunity to view your practice through a broader lens and places the coach-client relationship within a wider context.

How do you inject a breath of fresh air into your coaching?

RE-ALIGN

Supervision offers the space to align (or on occasions re-align) your coaching practice against defined core competencies, values and ethics. These regulations have been formulated by various associations, for example; International Coach Federation (ICF), European Mentoring, Coaching and Counselling Centre (EMCC) or Association for Coaching (AC) to set standards, ensure professional credibility and maintain quality. There are some variations between each organisation though each document can be used as a convenient “check-list” to review ongoing practice and pin point future areas of professional development.

What actions do you take to ensure your coaching practice consistently meets professional standards?

RESTORE

Every single coach invests mental, emotional and spiritual energy working with their clients; and there’s a finite quantity before our reserves become depleted. I suspect everyone will have experienced the extremes where you waltz away from a session feeling energised; or leave fuddled and dazed from another. The idea of self-care is often overlooked yet is essential to serve our clients and achieve optimal performance within our coaching practice. Our engrained habitual tendency to place our clients before our own needs means days, weeks and months can become packed with work commitments sandwiched in between family, friends and other life obligations.

Mental health awareness is (thankfully) now firmly on the radar in the UK after a series of high profile campaigns though we’ve probably only seen the tip of the iceberg. The one in four statistic has been quoted time and time again within the media and brings home the scale and sheer number of individuals who experience a mental health challenge within their working careers (NHS Digital, 2016). It’s inevitable that at some point we’ll encounter depression or anxiety ourselves, or work with clients who have encountered them. Our response is key to our well-being and supervision offers the platform to restore our mental, emotional and spiritual energy.

When do you set aside time for self-care to recharge your energy?

The term “supervision” can invoke controversial thoughts and feelings that divide the coaching community (Bachkirova, 2011). This stems partly from the fact the benefits of coaching supervision are based primarily on anecdotal evidence as opposed to concrete data. In addition, the concept of supervision can be traced back to the therapeutic and counselling professions; from which the coaching profession has attempted to establish a separate entity over recent years. It’s worth being aware of these mixed opinions and forming your own individual viewpoint which supports your coaching practice.

Finally, the Oxford Dictionary definition: “the action of supervising someone or something”, could trigger certain interpretations that sit juxtaposed to some underpinning coaching philosophies and beliefs; particularly the less directive coaching models such as person-centred. It’s worth remembering supervision is an ongoing series of one-to-one conversations (between supervisor and coach) either in person or virtually, that reflect on previous coaching sessions.

DIFFERENT LENS

There are two key models* which currently form the cornerstone of coaching supervision; the 7-eyed model, which can be traced back to work by Peter Hawkins during the mid 1980s; and David Clutterback’s more recent 7-conversations model. There’s a short and sweet overview of both below, though I’ve left it to each respective expert to explain their thoughts behind the formation and application of each model by way of links to further reading. If you’re interested in discovering more I’d recommended spending some time digesting the content.

The 7-Eyed Model is an integrative model of supervision based on systems theory where everything connects, inter-relates and drives behaviour. The model is divided into seven areas that can be used to review practice and discover new approaches.

http://www.theocm.co.uk/sites/default/files/documents/resources/Peter%20Hawkins_0.pdf

7 Eyed Model

2. The 7-Conversations Model looks beyond the single, external verbal dialogue between the coach and client to delve into a series of internal, reflective dialogues, which take place before, during and after the spoken conversation (Clutterback, 2011)

https://www.davidclutterbuckpartnership.com/wp-content/uploads/Using-the-seven-conversations-in-supervision.pdf

7 Conversations

After pain-staking research online and reaching out to other coaches, I recently opted to enrol on the sixth Oxford Brookes Professional Certificate of Advanced Study in Coaching Supervision** programme. The diverse range of external and internal coaching experience from eleven other delegates from within the private and public sectors in the United Kingdom, Europe and as far afield as Singapore, positively contributed to the depth and breadth of this highly experiential programme.

The blend of pre-course reading, peer-supervision sessions, and a four-day residential course expertly facilitated by Professor Tatiana Bachkirova (who founded the International Centre for Coaching and Mentoring Studies) and Peter Jackson (Senior Lecturer, Oxford Brookes University Business School) offered a balanced oversight of theory against practical application (with a reasonable price tag to fit!). If you’re looking to further your coaching development or move into the coaching supervision space, I’d firmly recommend this course.

What will you do today, to refresh, re-align and restore yourself to support your coaching?

* Note: Models and theories present a useful structure and highlight different components to work through during supervision. Sometimes it’s effective to explicitly share the 7-Eyed and 7-Conversations model and sketch the elements during sessions; others it’s deeply embedded within the natural ebb and flow of the conversation.

** Note: Anna-Marie has no financial affiliation with the International Centre for Coaching and Mentoring Studies.

Further information can be discovered:

Oxford Brookes Professional Certificate of Advanced Study in Coaching Supervision https://www.brookes.ac.uk/iccams/opportunities-for-study/professional-certificate-of-advanced-study-in-coaching-supervision/

Director – Professor Tatiana Bachkirova https://www.brookes.ac.uk/business/about/staff/myprofile/?wid=bus-academic-list&op=full&uid=p0035809

Peter Jackson – Senior Lecturer in Adult, Professional and Lifelong Learning https://www.brookes.ac.uk/business/about/staff/myprofile/?wid=bus-academic-list&op=full&uid=p0074286

Bachkirova, T. (September/October 2011). Guiding Light in Coaching at Work. Vol. 6, Issue 5, pp. 46 – 49.

Clutterback, D. (2011). Chapter 4: Using the Seven Conversations in Supervision from Coaching and Mentoring Supervision; Theory and Practice. Open University Press, London.

NHS Digital. (2016). Well-being and Mental Health. Accessed on 4 Apr 18 from: http://healthsurvey.hscic.gov.uk/support-guidance/public-health/health-survey-for-england-2016/well-being-and-mental-health.aspx

About Anna-Marie Watson

Charlie Davies Photography 1082 Anna-Marie, a Performance Coach (ICF ACC) and coach supervisor with a serious passion for the outdoors, loves to pop on her walking boots and head out for walking and talking coaching conversations. A former British Army Officer, she has been at the forefront of leadership and personal development for over 17 years supporting high performing individuals across four continents; from snowy Arctic tundra to hot and sandy deserts. Anna-Marie’s core values of growth, balance and energy are reflected in her business Reach for More. where improving yourself is an all-round experience. Anna-Marie is also an elite ultra-runner placing 2nd lady in the “toughest footrace on earth” the Marathon des Sables.

Alongside a Post Graduate Certificate in Applied Coaching from the University of Derby and Master’s in Teaching from the University of Sydney; she is an accredited Analytic-Network (http://www.analyticnetwork.com) and mBraining coach (http://www.mbraining.com) and eDISC and iWAM practitioner. She is qualified Mountain Leader, Outdoor First Aid trained and a member of the British Mountaineering Council with vast international expedition experience. Anna-Marie is also the Global ICF Executive and Leadership Community of Practice (COP) co-leader.

reach for more For more information on Anna-Marie’s performance coaching and supervision services, visit www.rfmcoaching.com

Connect with Anna-Marie on Social Media

Twitter: https://twitter.com/RFMCoaching
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RFMCoaching/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/awatson4
Google+: https://www.google.com/+AnnaMarieWatson
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rfmcoaching/

Get Your Clients Bursting with Confidence in 2018 1

19 January 2018 in Guest Post tagged Charlotta Hughes / confidence

In today’s guest post coach Charlotta Hughes shares some of her new book about confidence and includes a special offer for this blogs readers:

Get Your Clients Bursting with Confidence in 2018

And enjoy your coaching success

by Charlotta Hughes

"Get Your Clients Bursting with Confidence in 2018" by Charlotta Hughes

Do you come across clients who are holding themselves back because of a poor confidence? Do you find some don’t pursue their goals or achieve all they could because their insecurities hold them back? Perhaps it’s getting in the way of the effectiveness of the coaching, not allowing them to fully experience the benefits?

These situations are of course hard for the clients, but you may agree that it can cause you as their coach some frustrations too. Whether it’s simply getting in the way of you doing your best work, or more fundamentally shakes up your own confidence as a knock on effect of the clients not achieving, it’s not a great case scenario either way.

Especially as we know coaching can be such an effective tool to help people increase their confidence.

The question with some clients is simply how.

If you recognise this scenario, you’ll be happy to hear that not only are there ways in which you can more systematically work with clients to help them grow their confidence, but there’s a great opportunity coming up offering you a way to get from frustration to liberation and client success.

Because later this month the book What’s Your Excuse for not Being More Confident is coming out.

The book explores all of the explanations people give for holding themselves back – essentially outlining the excuses people give themselves for justifying their poor confidence with tips and techniques on how to overcome them.

Thinking of their personal explanations in terms of excuses might be new as, with an emotion like confidence, the excuses will feel like real, justifiable reasons. Clients may even identify with their poor confidence. Of course, this is also why it can be challenging for you as their coach to help a client see past their reasons and truly believe that they have an option to feel better about themselves.

The book gives you the tool to help your clients see that, however justified they feel they are, when they acknowledge that these ‘reasons’ are in fact functioning as excuses they give themselves the opportunity to tackle them so that they can increase their confidence and achieve so much more. This is not about belittling how they feel but instead about liberating themselves from their limiting beliefs. And, in turn, you will enjoy your clients’ progress on a whole new level!

Do you like the sound of an effective and easy to follow structure to use in sessions and share with clients? Then go ahead and grab the pre-publication opportunity exclusively for readers of the Coaching Confidence blog – email ch*******@**************ng.com before the 20th February to get the special discounted prices £6.99 for one or £6.50 for 5 or more (usual price £7.99) plus P&P of £1.99 for one (P&P for bulk orders depends on size). Simply state CC Offer in the subject bar.

For you to get a feel for the book, here is the sample chapter I was born negative from the Mind section of the book:

I don’t like change

Does change feel uncomfortable and make you anxious? Perhaps you find the unknown difficult or scary because it’s unpredictable?

Is a feeling of being in control important to you? Do you need to know what’s coming next?

In fact fear of change and fear of losing control are two sides of the same coin.

The truth is that life is unpredictable and by trying to control things you can easily end up increasing rather than decreasing your anxiety levels. This happens when you are trying to remain within your comfort zone because, though the comfort zone can be helpful and feel safe, when it keeps you stuck it’s in fact very far from comfortable or helpful.

Therefore, your comfort zone is currently supporting your lack of confidence and in order to grow and develop your confidence, you need to push the boundaries of that zone.

Yet, do you find yourself resisting? Are you now thinking of a hundred reasons why you shouldn’t change, why any attempts to change would fail or why making the change is too overwhelming or difficult?

Perhaps you talk about the change, think about it regularly and dwell on the reasons why you need the change but can’t progress towards it? I bet that feels pretty frustrating!

If you think about it, your attempts to stay in control and within your comfort zone aren’t helping, and you’re actually getting in your own way, denying yourself the chance of more happiness in life.

Below is a list of ways in which you can help introduce change into your life and find the courage to step outside your comfort zone:

Pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone

Be honest – You might be living healthily and in accordance with your values in many ways, but chances are, deep down, you know that there are some things you should change, things which are adversely affecting your confidence levels. Be honest with yourself and allow yourself to acknowledge what these things are.

Focus your efforts – Zero in on the behaviour that you would like to change. For example, if you’re stuck and tend to say no to new experiences because you’re worried you won’t be good enough, then make it part of your daily routine to list experiences you’d like to try, look out for opportunities coming your way and say yes more often. Being specific and deliberately focusing on saying yes is a lot more enabling than just deciding to try new things. Which new behaviours will benefit your confidence levels and how will you start to practise these? The

Incentivise yourself – Make a list of all the good reasons to break an unhelpful habit and use this to incentivise yourself whenever you feel scared, insecure or like giving up. For instance, a better social life or greater achievements at work, which your current tendency to say no might be preventing. These would be real and very attractive benefits to feed your confidence – great incentives! What are your strongest and most compelling incentives?

Do something! – Set yourself up for success by taking immediate action. However small the first step, do it, and you’ll find it leads to further actions as you build up momentum and your confidence grows.

Congratulate yourself – Take every opportunity to look out for nice and good things you are doing and make a point of acknowledging them. Say to yourself, ‘What a kind thing to say’ (rather than ‘ah, that was nothing’), ‘Didn’t I do well not giving up in those circumstances’ (rather than ‘how rubbish was I at that’), or ‘I managed to fit in 30 minutes on the treadmill’ (rather than ‘I’m so rubbish, I should have done a 1 hour workout’).

Enlist backup – Tell someone you trust what it is you intend to achieve. Not only can they help you recognise when you’re slipping, but you’re also much less likely to slip in the first place as you might lose face if you fail! Accountability can be key to staying on track or to recognising when you are straying from the path to success. Don’t allow a fear of failure to prevent you from sharing your intentions! To whom will you tell your plans and intentions?

Record your achievements – Keep careful notes of your progress and achievements and the benefits you are experiencing. Progress is a very effective incentive to keep going. Read more about keeping a success diary in “No one appreciates me”.

Persevere – If you slip up, perhaps because you feel overly nervous, you’re too hard on yourself or you let your insecurities stop you from doing something, don’t be tempted to throw in the towel. Just get back on track and keep going. Failure is only a reality when you stop trying. See also “I’m an underachiever“ for more on how to handle slips.

To go ahead and grab this opportunity – simply email ch*******@**************ng.com with CC Offer in the subject bar and remember to do so before the 20th February when the book is published.

About Charlotta Hughes

Charlotta book

Charlotta has over 17 years experience within personal development and has run her coaching practice, Be Me Life Coaching since 2007. She specialises in confidence, career and leadership coaching as well as coach mentoring for life and business coaches. In 2013 she won UK Life Coach of the Year in the UK and her first book What’s Your Excuse for Not Being More Confident? was released in 2017. She offers a free, no obligation consultation and can be contacted via email: charlotta@bemelifecoaching.com or mobile: 07720839773.

Got something to say?

15 December 2017 in site news / Guest Post

Guest posters for 2018 wanted!

is your skill with the quill

Is your skill with a quill undeniable?¹

So as December appears to be wizzing by I wanted to make a public invite for anyone who is interested in writing a guest post in 2018.

What’s involved?
It’s quite simple really – providing a guest post (with a bio) that you think will be of interest to other coaches 9 days before the Friday it’s due to be published.

Do guest posters have to be coaches?
Usually guest posters are either coaches themselves, trainee coaches or use coaching in a different job title alternatively you may work directly with coaches. This means that the content of guest posts is written with an understanding of this blogs readers – coaches.

What topic does the post have to be about?
The main guidance I usually give is what would you most like to share with an audience of coaches? I can provide a list of questions (well I am a coach we like questions ;)) to spark inspiration if needed. So if you don’t yet know what you want to write about but this interests you do still get in touch below.

Do you need to have a blog?
It’s not necessary, some guest posters love regularly writing and have their own blog others just like to occasionally write or are just trying this out to see if they want to do more. All are welcome.

Can your guest post be published on a specific Friday?
Publishing dates are scheduled on a first requested basis so providing it’s still available yes.

Interested? Complete your details below to get started scheduling in your guest post.

[si-contact-form form=’14’]

¹Apologies to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s “Hamilton The musical” for slightly misquoting the lyrics!

The Sound of Silence 2

8 December 2017 in Guest Post tagged Anna-Marie Watson / coaching / coaching skill / communication / silence

In today’s guest post performance coach Anna-Marie Watson focuses upon something she feels underpins many skills used in coaching and communication.

The Sound of Silence

By Anna-Marie Watson

tennis 926386 resized drop shadow

“The Sound of Silence” (Simon & Garfunkel)

When was the last time you indulged in a moment of pure silence? On your own in the shower or out for a run? Everything paused; the to-do list, “should have done” and “must dos” faded into the background. Your internal chatter diminished and waves of silence washed over you uninterrupted by mobile phone notifications, nagging thoughts or any other typical incessant background noise of 21st century living.

Our daily lives are an endless cacophony of sound as noise assaults our senses. Cities are full of the ever-present hum of background traffic, screaming children, ringing phones, the latest episode of “The Great British Bake-Off” blaring through from your neighbours’ apartment. Adriana, creator of the “Huffington Post” and “Thrive” believes “we’re wired, plugged in, constantly catered to, and increasingly terrified of silence, unaware of what it has to offer” (Huffington, 2014, 188). We’ve become accustomed to clatter and find a strange comfort or I’d suggest distraction from ourselves in the sounds tugging at our attention.

The flow of our everyday conversation perpetuates this din through a permanent flow of words. Our constant transmission overlooks the prime motivator behind verbal interactions – to exchange ideas, share information and seek to understand. Western culture reinforces this phenomenon as silence is generally associated with negative values, beliefs or assumptions. Silence correlates to a stereotypical lack of interest, unwillingness to communicate, rejection, interpersonal incompatibility, shyness (Davidson, 2009) or insufficient knowledge. These perceptions combined with our noisy world mean it’s almost impossible to hunt out a moment of peace and quiet. The deeper role of silence as a means of communication has largely been ignored (ibid.) and definitely warrants consideration in coaching and everyday conversations.

Additionally, patterns of dialogue vary across the world and the Western cultures specialise in a form of verbal tennis. Words morph into tennis balls; batted backwards and forwards across a net with a chronic failure to notice or register the actual word, hidden meanings, veiled emotions or insinuations. This links back to the classic 1960s song “The Sound of Silence” where Garfunkel describes the lyrics deeper meaning to illustrate “the inability of people to communicate with each other, not particularly intentionally but especially emotionally” (Eliot, 2010). The deeper value, connection and understanding is concealed within the noise and found in the spaces between words, brief sentence gaps and pauses in-between. The Sound of Silence.

Within the professional coaching realm, the International Coach Federation core competencies are a practical framework to consider skills, knowledge and ethics. Many key competencies can be transposed across into the business world and everyday life to support the highly sought-after talent of “effective communication” or “active listening”. Silence underpins these skills to provide a moment in time to reflect, connect and provide balance to the words. Mocci and Penna elaborate further that “silence is used to underline, to increase the communicative value, both in a positive or negative sense, of a content already defined by the relationship, for instance affection, friendship, feeling of dissatisfaction, that silence shapes”. (2009, p.5). A coach (or indeed considerate conversationalist!) creates sufficient space for equal or more communication time (International Coach Federation, 2012). This incorporation of silence into conversations can initially feel disjointed, uncomfortable and alien; as one of my recent coaching clients explains further:

“The silence and space given to me, as the client, to do the heavy lifting was uncomfortable for me at first. However, that is where the meaningful and life changing awareness sprung forth. I felt supported and believed in all along the way which empowered me”. Brenda, Charity Sector

Grant yourself the luxury of silence to still your mind and open your ears. Welcome this time and space into your day and give your small, still voice hidden deep inside permission to vocalise their thoughts.

Gift your conversational partner a moment to simply finish their sentence. Simply hold the space and allow the opportunity for further reflection or consideration. Enjoy the moment and avoid the temptation to prematurely jump in to fill the gap.

Embrace the Sound of Silence.

References:

Davidson, M. (2009). The Role of Silence In Communication. Accessed: http://www.nottingham.ac.uk/pesl/internationalisation/docs/Internationalisation-Role-of-silence.pdf on 5 Jan 17.

Eliot, M. (2010). Paul Simon: A Life. John Wiley and Sons, New Jersey, US.

Huffington, A. (2014). Thrive. Penguin Random House, UK.

International Coach Federation. (2012). Core Competencies. Accessed: https://www.coachfederation.org/credential/landing.cfm?ItemNumber=2206&navItemNumber=576 on 5 Jan 17.

Mocci, S. & Penna, M.P. (2009). The Systematic Approach to Communicative Silence. Sixth Congress European Congress for Systemic Science. Accessed: http://www.afscet.asso.fr/resSystemica/Paris05/penna.pdf on 5 Jan 17.

Simon, P. (1964). The Sound of Silence. Columbia Studios, New York City, US.

About Anna-Marie Watson

Anna Marie Watson drop shadow Anna-Marie is a Performance Coach with a serious passion for the outdoors who loves to head outside for walking and talking conversations with her clients. She is an accredited Analytic-Network (http://www.analyticnetwork.com) and mBraining (http://www.mbraining.com) coach and certified in eDISC and iWAM psychometric profile tools. Anna-Marie is one of the co-leaders for the International Coach Federation Executive and Leadership Community of Practice (https://www.coachfederation.org/members/).

Former British Army Officer, Anna-Marie has been at the forefront of leadership and professional development for over 16 years working with high performing individuals and teams often in challenging environments; from the Norwegian snowy Arctic tundra to sandy deserts of Central Asia. Anna-Marie is also an elite ultra-runner placing 2nd lady in the “toughest footrace on earth” the Marathon des Sables in 2015. Learn more at www.rfmcoaching.com

Connect with Anna-Marie on Social Media

Emotional Literacy 1, 2, 3

1 December 2017 in Guest Post tagged coaching / Dan Newby / emotions / energy

Coach and mentor Dan Newby specialises in emotional literacy and in today’s guest post he discusses a specific coaching conversation and shares some of his knowledge.

Emotional Literacy 1, 2, 3

By Dan Newby

"Emotional literacy 1, 2, 3" A guest post by Dan Newby

“The thing I’d most like to change about myself is my impatience. I don’t like being so impatient but I’ve always been this way”. Those were the words a coachee said to me a few years ago as an explanation for why she wanted coaching. When I heard her I was puzzled because I didn’t have the impression she was especially impatient. She seemed confused when I asked her how she knew that what she was feeling was impatience but told me that is what her parents always called it.

Next, she told me the context that went with their statement. She was the oldest of 4 or 5 children, outgoing, energetic, curious and when she would suggest an activity more than once to her parents their answer was to tell her to “stop being so impatient”. When I asked her if the energy she was feeling and labeling impatience might be some other emotion she came up with several: Excitement, enthusiasm, anticipation, exuberance, joy.

As she considered the meaning of each emotion and the way it felt she realized that although she did experience impatience a small percentage of the time mostly she was experiencing one of the other emotions. For her this made an enormous difference. For almost 40 years she had been calling several different emotions by one name. By doing that she could not differentiate and appreciate the other emotions. Furthermore, her interpretation of impatience was negative and so her self-image had suffered. Once she embraced that she was experiencing enthusiasm, exuberance and joy her self-image shifted considerably.

If you reflect on that scene you’ll realize that we learn many things in this way, through things our parents say, and emotions are one of them. But what if the name your parents are using for an emotion is inaccurate? What if you heard and learned something they weren’t trying to teach you? This type of coaching situation is why I find Emotional Literacy so valuable. If we understand that each emotion is offering us unique information and has a purpose we can begin to befriend and rely on them. We explore them non-judgmentally. If we know that we have a choice between reacting and responding when we feel an emotion they become effective tools.

So where do we start with Emotional Literacy?

Curiously, if you look for a universal definition of what an emotion is you won’t find it. If you look for a single comprehensive list of emotions you won’t find that either. So, to use emotions in this way we need a new understanding of what they are and have the ability to explain them to our coachees. Emotions, for me, are simply “the energy that moves us”. If you think about the “feelings” your body experiences you will notice that each moves you in a different way. The energy of laziness prompts you to rest on the sofa or go to the beach to lay in the sand while the energy of ambition focuses you on taking advantage of possibilities. Jealousy moves you to protect or hold on to someone you care about while joy urges you to celebrate. Although there is no universal list of emotions I work with about 250. This is an enormous range considering that most of us can only identify and articulate 10 or 15.

Emotions each have a unique message or information for us as well. Sadness tells us “we’ve lost something we care about” while envy tells us “we’d like to have something someone else has”. Anger tells us what is unjust and trust tells us we are not taking excessive risk interacting with someone. We can deconstruct every emotion into three parts: 1. The story or information it is offering us, 2. The impulse or reaction and 3. Its purpose or the reason it exists. After 18 years of coaching I find emotions to be one of the most useful and quickest ways to work with coachees.

What are the steps to Emotional Literacy?

To get started there are 3: 1) Listening non-judgmentally to your emotions which, of course, requires you noticing them first, 2) Reflecting on what those emotions are trying to communicate or inform you of and 3) Articulating the story, impulse and purpose of the emotions. Later you’ll be able to connect or group various emotions but the first and most fundamental step is beginning to identify, name and articulate them.

1) Listening: One thing you may notice when you begin listening to your emotions is that you have assessments or judgments about them. Fear, anger and jealous are “bad” emotions while loyalty, love and compassion are “good” emotions. This is not a very helpful way to think about emotions because we generally try to avoid the “bad” ones and experience more of the “good” ones. In this interpretation “emotions are just emotions”. Each one can help us or can get in our way. Without fear we would not survive because we wouldn’t recognize danger but it can also immobilize us so that we are unable to act. So, learning to listen non-judgmentally to the emotions you are experiencing is an important first step.

2) Reflecting: It isn’t always immediately apparent to us why we are feeling the emotion we are. Reflection can help us consider what message the emotion is trying to deliver. Emotions trigger reactions – fear to run away, loyalty to defend, etc. – but that isn’t always the most beneficial thing we can do. Learning to choose our response can sometimes be more effective in the long run. This requires reflection.

3) Articulating: Earlier I said that there are not universal definitions for emotions. This means that they are interpretations and the way I explain love, doubt or envy will be different than the way you do. What is most important is that we have our own clear articulation and that we agree on the interpretation we use in our conversations. When we are coaching, it is vital that the coach and coachee share the same understanding of the emotion they are working with otherwise they are not talking about the same thing.

Once you, the coach, have begun to build your own emotional literacy you can offer it to your coachees. You don’t need to have clarity on all 250 emotions to begin working with them. If you have 10 you are clear on you can begin with those and build your vocabulary from there. Even those 10 are likely to give you a greater range than most of your coachees.

Since emotions are “the energy that move us” they are at the heart and foundation of everything we do and every choice we make. If we want to help our coachees see new possibilities and choose different actions they are a logical place to start.

To take a step forward sign up for a Free Introductory Course on Emotional Literacy at www.studyemotions.com. I welcome your insights, learning and feedback.

About Dan Newby

"The Unopened Gift: A Primer in Emotional Literacy" Dan Newby trains and mentors coaches, works with organizations to elevate their emotional literacy, facilitates emotions workshops and is co -author of “The Unopened Gift: A Primer in Emotional Literacy” available on Amazon and Kindle. He lives near Barcelona, Spain and work worldwide with individuals and organizations. He offers on-line training courses in Coaching & Emotions through www.studyemotions.com. If you’d like to contact him directly his email address is dn****@***********ns.com.

Five things to do now to run your coaching practice like a CEO

13 January 2017 in Guest Post tagged Alison Beierlein / business / business growth / coaching / delegate / goals / income / plan / time

Running a coaching busines successfully is the focus of today’s guest post where Alison Beierlein shares some of her expertise and knowledge in:

Five things to do now to run your coaching practice like a CEO

By Alison Beierlein

Five things to do now to run your coaching practice like a CEO By Alison Beierlein

There are so many aspects to take into consideration when starting and running your own business; it can be overwhelming. Many coaches start out as typical solopreneurs – doing everything themselves – and some are missing out on their potential for growth, prosperity, and success by remaining in this limiting structure.

In a hypothetical situation, if you had to apply and interview yourself for the CEO role of your coaching practice, what characteristics would you be looking for?

Now, let’s pause for a moment to include here, that when brainstorming these characteristics, you need to take away any and all filters. There are no limitations here, so let your mind come up with the absolute ideal candidate for this role.

Fotolia 34685489 XS resized2 Go ahead, grab a paper and pen and jot down the most important characteristics that you would be looking for in this person.

When I do this activity, some of the characteristics and skills that come to mind for me are:

Ability to focus
Creativity and flexibility in overcoming challenge
Solid foundational understanding of business planning and finances including cash flow forecasting and budgeting
Ability to sell and close deals
Strategic business growth strategies including scalability
Strong sense of integrit
Trustworthiness, ethical behavior and clear value
Hunger for continual improvement
Strong leadership and ability to provide clear direction
Grit
Project management and planning for goal achievement
Ability to assess the value of opportunities
Zone of genius (whatever the superpower is that you sell to your clients)

There are more, but this is a good start. The point of this exercise is to highlight the following two insights:

As the CEO of the company, you’re not spending your time with low-level administration.

As the CEO of the company, you ARE spending your time on the things that no one else can decide or do for you,

such as:

a. Giving the tone and direction of the company
b. Big picture planning on where you want to take the company

If you take a moment to assess, what you are currently spending your time on in our business, what kinds of activities ARE you doing?

Be honest. Are these activities driving your revenues?

Are you spending your time in Canva trying to create your logo?

Are you spending hours trying to figure out some cloud-based technology that you’re not familiar with yet (such as creating your landing page)?
Are you following up with clients who had a declined payment because their credit card expired?

If the answer is yes, then I highly suggest you tune in here.

Keep reading for my top five tips to ensure you are running your business like a boss.

1. Delegate

As a successful coach and CEO of your business, your own time is worth too much to be spending on tasks that don’t bring in money. You need to be focussing your own time only on the things that only you can do, and that bring in a high return on your time investment.

If you’re just starting out, you might think you can’t afford to hire someone to help. How can you delegate things to someone if you can’t even pay yourself? Well, for starters, you can sell something you already own. Go through your house, see what you can part with, and sell it on Craigslist, a local Facebook Buy and Sell group, have a garage sale, post it for sale on your local pinboards and even just broadcast it out to people you know. You can surely sell at least a few things that can bring in some money to give your cash flow a boost.

Failing that, jot down any other services you could provide for money, that would bring in more than it would cost you to hire an assistant. If you can easily provide guitar lessons for $50 / hour, and an assistant might cost you $20 / hour. Sell a few hours of guitar lessons and then use that money to buy over twice the amount of time from someone else who is efficient with your lower level business related tasks, to help get you started.

If you absolutely can’t afford to hire out these types of tasks, then try to follow this strategy: Work in your zone of genius as much as possible and continually try to increase the ratio of time spent on money-making tasks to non-money-making tasks as time goes on. Your ultimate goal should be spending 98% of your time doing only money-making, high-level work, and contracting out or having staff do absolutely everything else.

If you have enough cash flow and are already earning a steady income from your coaching practice, then brainstorm any tasks that you are currently doing that are time-consuming and could easily be handed off to an assistant. Then once you’ve delegated them, use the time you have freed up in your schedule for money making activities, such as booking more discovery calls or creating more content.

2. Get your head in the game

As CEO of your coaching practice, you need to be mentally in the game if you want to be successful. What does this entail? You’re a coach, so you’re probably already familiar with the whole idea of having a growth mindset. But do you always practice what you preach? Do you have what it takes to build up your mental toughness?

Mental toughness is the ability to be resilient and maintain confidence in your abilities. In an article from September 17, 2010, on Forbes written by Christine M. Riordan titled Six Elements of Mental Toughness, she explains that being a successful athlete isn’t solely a result of skill, knowledge, or ability. Success partially stems from having mental toughness.

Mental toughness is the ability to handle stress, recover quickly from setbacks, adapt and create strategies to overcome unforeseen hurdles, handle competition, and to have the courage to make the hard decisions to uphold your integrity, values, and ethics.

This need for the mental resilience doesn’t just apply to athletes – it’s universal and applies to everyone who is working on growing a business.

Do you ever find you’re allowing yourself to be dragged down because you’re comparing yourself to others (even other people you have never met before)? Stop doing this immediately. Nothing good will come from comparing yourself to someone else’s success unless you are celebrating it with them and looking at it as a case study from which you want to learn.

Keep your attention focussed on the next steps that will move you towards your own success and take continued and steady action towards achieving your own goals.

3. Persevere, persevere, persevere

Don’t let setbacks deter you from moving forward. Use your failures as learning opportunities. Do better next time. The law of averages dictates that eventually, you will fail at something. But don’t let it determine your self-worth or sway you from steering straight ahead towards your goals. Each mini failure is just a part of your journey. As CEO it is your job to dust yourself off, make any minor adjustments to your plan as you need to get back on course, and then keep moving forward.

4. Generate multiple streams of income

When operating as CEO of your coaching practice, it can be very limiting if you put all your eggs in one basket – one stream of income. Taking on clients solely in a 1-on-1 setting will ultimately limit your income earning potential because you can only take on so many clients every month. Time is your limiting factor.

Even if you’re operating in your zone of genius, spending your time solely on the money-making tasks that only you can do, if you’re exchanging your time as your sole offering, you effectively cap your income. You can realistically only raise your rates so much, depending on what the market will bear.

A more well-rounded business model will ensure that you aren’t relying on only one income stream. If you can fill out your services to offer products or services that are scalable, you can grow your reach, increase your impact, help more people, and do it all with less time.

Scalable business models include products and services that generate income, even when you’re not actively working directly with a single client. These passive income streams could include

Group coaching (online or in person
An information product or mini-course
Take the core principles that you go through while working with your 1-on-1 clients and package them up into a self-study course that your clients can buy and work through on their own time)
Affiliate sales or referrals
If you know of someone who offers high-quality coaching, mentoring or training in a very specific specialty niche and your clients could benefit from working with them, you could earn money through affiliate sales of their products/services or referral fees. Of course, I only recommend this if you truly stand behind the quality of their offering and have your clients’ best interests in mind.

Once you have these various income sources mapped out, you can design your business plan to reflect the various streams. You can stack them up, boost the value of one offering by including one of the others as a bonus ultimately increasing the earning potential per client while adding incredible value.

5. Create clear and concise goals and a plan to get you there

If you want to run your business like a professional, invest the time in creating a full business plan. You can’t know what direction you’re going in if you don’t have a clearly defined vision for your business.

Even if you aren’t running a brick and mortar, traditional style business, the value in having a thorough business plan in place is very high. As CEO of your company, you want to have a strong vision for the business. You need direction. You want to set the tone for all actions and decisions that you make as a business owner.

Every major decision you make should be supporting this bigger vision. You should gear your marketing, branding, growth, and sales strategies towards moving you closer towards your goals and keeping you in line with your company’s purpose, vision, and mission. Every investment (monetary or otherwise) has a clear purpose. Every product, service or other sources of revenue should be in line with the customer experience you envision for your business.

As your business grows and evolves, you need to review this plan (annually at least) and make any adjustments as required. It might seem tedious at times, but the time you invest in creating your business plan and reviewing it on a regular basis, the higher your chances are of achieving the things you set out to attain.

About Alison Beierlein

Alison Beierlein has international training and experience and over a decade of experience in business management. She coaches female entrepreneurs in the areas of leadership, empowerment, confidence, business growth, and self-development. Her goal is to empower women to uncover their larger purpose and design clear strategies to help them achieve their full potential.
In January, 2017, Alison is launching her own show called the License to Receive Podcast where she interviews thought leaders and presents case studies in the areas of abundance, self-improvement, career development, marketing, and entrepreneurship.
After tragically losing her father, Alison has begun raising awareness about mental health and donates a portion of her coaching revenue to the Canadian Mental Health Association and the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health

Connect with Alison Beierlein

Website: www.licensetoreceive.com

Facebook: and https://www.facebook.com/groups/licensetoreceive

Instrgram: https://www.instagram.com/alisonbeierlein/

Medium: https://medium.com/@alisonelliottbeierlein

Twitter: https://twitter.com/alisonbeierlein

I Would Love to Share a Little NLP Trick I Learned

11 November 2016 in Guest Post tagged business / Chris Atley / horrible pain / little nlp trick / practical

In this week’s guest post coach Chris Atley uses some of her experience and knowledge. Many coaches run their coaching business as a solo-entrepreneur but what happens if they fall ill?

I Would Love to Share a Little NLP Trick I Learned

By Chris Atley

'I Would Love to Share a Little NLP Trick I Learned" by Chris Atley

So I don’t typically share NLP techniques for health related issues, as I tend to focus on the blocks preventing entrepreneurs from growing their businesses, but since all areas of our lives are intertwined, I want to share this with you. Even if it seems unrelated to business it is.

This ear infection caused excruciating pain. Like crying and moaning type of pain. I know, not pretty, but it’s what was happening. During one night it was so painful that I couldn’t fall back to sleep and was maxed out on the painkillers I was able to take. So I started listening to Gabrielle Bernstein’s “The Universe Has Your Back” book on audio (in my “good” ear of course). She was taking the reader though a visualization where we were to visualize what we wanted. I chose peace and love, so I was breathing in peace and visualizing what that looked like, and then breathing out love and what that looked like. I did this for several breaths and started to feel a little better. I suddenly remembered an NLP exercise one of my mentors took a classmate through way back when we were doing our training years ago. This classmate had been suffering from a terrible toothache and it was preventing her from being present in class.

This is what I did. I created an image of what the earache looked like in my mind. I pictured it all around my ear. For me, it was a red ball of energy – slightly transparent. It was about a half a foot x half a foot in dimension. I pictured it moving from my ear and out in front of me. This was tough at first because it wanted to keep coming back to my ear and inside of me (associated perspective). The goal was to become dissociated – where I could see it outside of myself instead of experiencing it. It took several tries, and what I realized was that I had to stay with it and actually move with it, if that makes sense. I couldn’t just see it in front of me. So I moved with it and followed it until it was out front. It was then about 5 feet in front of me. I did this exercise several times. And poof!! The pain was gone. It was outside of me and 5 feet in front of me. I could feel that the infection was still there, but the pain was numb. It was the exact feeling the drugs had done. Numb the pain.

Isn’t that amazing?! I just love this stuff.

This enabled me to fall back to sleep, and this whole process only took a few minutes. I share this with you so that you can use it too. It works for heavy emotions as well. Give it a try and I would love to know how it goes for you.

Here are a few other tips and tricks for handing your business when you are ill.

#1. Have the right team in place. Hire for your weaknesses. Hire people who are good at what you are not. Get them in place asap if you don’t have them in place already. Identify what is the most helpful for you to get off your plate now and that is what you need to hire someone to do. Even if you don’t have the time to train them, do it anyway. It will be worth it afterward.

Look at who you can hire in your personal life too. What is going to make your life easier? A housekeeper, someone to do the laundry, a nanny, etc. Warning – this is where a lot of limiting beliefs come up that just aren’t true. Help is good – we can’t possibly do it all.

#2. Have your team create systems. Systems and procedures for everything you do. So that if you need them to jump in and take over on something else – or if you need to onboard more people – they can jump in much more easily.

#3. Get to the root cause of the illness. Whatever we create externally, this includes our bodies, is a reflection of what is going on inside. It’s a result of our thoughts. Dis-ease means exactly that. You are not in ease. Why not? Ask it what it is trying to tell you? What is the lesson? It’s always about some type of healing (not physical). For me it was another reminder to slow down. I had taken on too much. With extra fundraising projects for the kids school, speaking and a husband travelling more, something had to give and get me to slow down. Bingo you have an ear infection. This is with someone who believes whole-heartedly in self-care and practices it. It still crept in and happened. I am constantly trying to better myself and my family, and this in turn has invited in a conversation as to what systems need to be implemented, where we need to strengthen boundaries, and where we can increase our support level. It was the next step in my own growth.

The reality is, things are going to happen. Life is going to happen. We’re still human creating a human experience. It’s all in how we deal with it that counts. It invites growth and opportunity to live a more peaceful and loving life. Old patterns die-hard and sometimes it takes the universe hitting us over the head with a 2×4 to finally get the lesson. We can be proactive or reactive, the choice is ours.

Namaste friends xo

About Chris Atley

Chris Atley shows entrepreneurs how to discover their true worth and increase their personal wealth. Chris inspires thousands of entrepreneurs internationally through her writing, speaking and coaching programs. She has been an expert resource for various media outlets on radio, television, and both online and offline publications. Chris is a certified Belief Breakthrough Coach, NLP-Practitioner and has a BA in Psychology.

Chris has a unique ability to identify the obstacles that keep business owners stuck – that they often aren’t even aware of! She helps people go deep to shift their blocks, and then shows them how to use their own resources to make different decisions and create lasting change. Chris is a wiz at helping business owners get results fast – often during their first call!

Connet with Chris online

Website: http://chrisatley.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/chrissy.atley
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/chris-atley/6/56a/428
Twitter: http://twitter.com/chrissyatley
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLL1qtX-n8-7Tuw7LdJQURw

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