Coaching

Using quotes in coaching – remembering them in the first place

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / leadership coaching / learning / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / memory / performance coaching / personal development / quotes / resource

In last week’s coaching post I asked “Do you use quotes in your coaching?” In that post I talked about why you may want to use a quote in a coaching session.

I was then asked a great question on twitter about if I had any tips about how to remember quotes. Many potential answers sprang to mind, all longer than the 140 characters I can use in a tweet so today’s coaching post was born. Feel free to add your own method and thoughts at the end of today’s post.

I will share some ways that I personally have used to remember quotes as well as offering some thoughts around this in general. As you read this, I invite you to notice which ones are most appealing to you.

Firstly, don’t presume that you have to remember them word for word to be able to use a quote. I know that may seem an odd place to start in a post about remembering quotes but I think it’s worth pointing out. There are several situations that can let you refer to a written form of the quote.

This may be down to the situation that you are coaching around. I used the example last week of coaching a customer-facing employee in a business where you may choose to quote a specific customer – is that a quote you wrote down at the time of observation, or is it a quote that you have taken from a written piece of feedback etc?

Can you incorporate reading a quote directly? Either from notes you use/take during a session or other methods.

For example, if you coach via the phone, can you pin some quotes within sight to glance at when needed? If you have written the quote down/it’s in a book, could you just reach out from where you are working and grab that so you can read out the quote?

Be prepared. Perhaps your client sent you a completed pre-session preparation/ exercise of some form in advance and a particular quote sprang to mind as you read it. What’s stopping you from having that quote to hand to use in case it’s still relevant when you talk to that client?

Last week I also spoke about using quotes to “borrow authority” to focus your clients attention or increase their willingness to answer a question or do an exercise. It can be used as a convincer to add extra-perceived credibility. If this is an exercise that requires you to print materials, could you add the quote onto the page in advance?

Make use of the strategies you already use when you coach – if you make a point of using the precise language and phrasing that a client uses, how do you do that? How can you use that same approach to use the same precise language and phrasing in a particular quote?

How much attention to quotes are you paying? It’s a lot easier to recognise that you are using quotes if you have acknowledged that they are quotes in the first place. 🙂 It’s also easier to remember to use “a quote” if you have mentally thought of that phrase/saying etc as a quote.

Over the years I have used various methods that have led to me memorising quotes. Some of these methods have been a conscious attempt to easily recall a quote. On other occasions it’s just been a by-product of another event/activity.

Some of the most popular tweets that get shared from this blogs twitter feed come from song lyrics, films and TV. Consider the quotes you already have in your memory.

When I was still in education, one of the ways I revised for my history exams was to learn various quotes to back up various historical perspectives of events. I had turned this into a game – I wrote each quote on it’s own card, the quote on one side and a brief description on the other. I could then use those as a memory aid and just play, often involving repeating what was on the card.

On other occasions I’d use them to play and draw “Pictionary” style representations of the quote that stuck in my memory (often because they just looked ridiculous, after all I was studying history not art 😉 )

I also remember learning one set of quotes stood in a different location in the room – so when I came to recall the quote I imagined standing in the location that I’d connected to that phrase. I was even known at one stage to replace the lyrics of songs with the quotes instead.

I’ve also found that I’ve learnt quotes purely because I’ve heard or seen something over and over again – maybe because it’s stuck to the wall in a prominent place. Perhaps I’ve heard someone else say it many, many, times over.

My suggestion would be if you decide to actively memorise quotes to use a method that appeals to you and is fun and easy for you.

What other methods would you add to these suggestions? Has something popped into your mind as you read this that you want to go and play with?

About the Author

Jen WallerJen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

Do you use any quotes in your coaching? 1

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / pace / performance coaching / personal development / quotes / resource / Richard Branson / Rudyard Kipling / words

“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” (Rudyard Kipling)

If you have been following this blog on twitter you will have noticed a regular number of quotes tweeted throughout the day. These are quotes that often prompt a response from those reading.

It’s not at all unknown for one person to contact me to share that they disagree with the words in one quote, whilst someone else will tell me that the exact same quote is positive and encouraging, maybe even offering a new useful insight.

So are you reading that and thinking that a quote like that would be one that you would or wouldn’t like to use in a coaching session?

Quotes are yet another thing that can be at the coaches disposal to use during a coaching session. As with all methods that are at our disposal as coaches when and if you decide to use a quote will vary on individual circumstance. But why would you want to use quotes?

I thought I’d share some of the things I consider when using quotes and which ones to use. Quotes are not the only way of doing many of these points; it is just another approach to have added flexibility.

I may use a quote as a starting point with a client. Perhaps a way to gently test if my suspicions about a belief or perspective that is causing an obstacle for the client. Using the quote as a way to gauge their reaction and take the next step.

I may also use a quote to “pace” the clients current position before leading them into exploring new perspectives. By “pace” I mean starting with the same perspective as the client. It is quite possible that the quotes that are most appropriate in this instance are not necessarily a perspective you personally share.

I personally believe that my work is not just about what happens during our scheduled time together but also about being a catalyst and facilitating outside of that time. If I know I’m working with a client who likes to learn by researching it is possible that I will use a quote to credit an origin of an approach etc if I suspect that they may want to explore that in more depth.

It is not the only reason I may use quotes as a coach. I may want to use a quote to gently provoke and challenge. Placing a distance between the words of the quote and the person saying it in some circumstances can make it easier for the listener to hear the message or underlying question.

Some coaches also use quotes if they feel that a more direct option may damage the coaching relationship. Perhaps they are at the start of their coaching relationship and feel that the client may feel defensive if it’s offered as a direct observation or question.

You can also use quotes to “borrow authority” to focus your clients attention or increase their willingness to answer a question or do an exercise. It can be used as a convincer to add extra-perceived credibility.

For example, coaching a customer-facing employee in a business you may choose to quote a specific customer. It’s entirely possible that your client will be far more open to a conversation around this than if a bystander voices the same opinion.

Or maybe you know that your client admires Richard Branson and the way he does business. You may choose to introduce an exercise around adding fun into a situation with “I’ve heard Richard Branson say ‘A business has to be involving, it has to be fun, and it has to exercise your creative instincts.’”

You may also use quotes that can inspire and motivate, grab attention or trigger new thoughts. It’s not at all unknown for me to share a quote for no better reason that it’s one that I think a client will like! 🙂

What about you? Do you use quotes in your coaching? If so what else would you add to this post?

About the Author

Jen WallerJen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

How to start charging for your coaching – part two

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / career coaching / charging / charity / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching fee / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / exhange / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / money / payment / performance coaching / personal development / price / resource / value

When to make a transition to start charging for your coaching?

Last week I discussed what’s stopping you from charging for your coaching? This week I want to continue that conversation and look at some different approaches people can take to making the transition to easily asking for an exchange of money?

I’m not going to tell you what you should do but let me share the following approaches and see which appeals to you.

You may even notice that you have been trying one approach and it hasn’t been working for you.

You may spot that I use the word exchange a lot in this article. That is deliberate because you are exchanging your service for an agreed payment of some kind.

All sorts of beliefs, values and fears can get in the way of a coach charging. I will also offer the perspective that what you ask for in exchange for your service can be changed.

  • Coaching provides value. It is your duty as a coach to communicate that value by ALWAYS asking for an exchange of money.

I have no doubt that this school of thought is said with all the best intentions in the world. They already see the value that you can bring to your clients. However, I’ve also seen it be a belief that has stopped coaches from practicing because they didn’t feel ready to charge. The end result being that they don’t do any coaching so are not bringing any value to anyone.

If you are happy with this approach you may choose to start charging right from the word go. Your clients will soon let you know if they are not happy with what you are asking for in exchange. 🙂

  • Coach as many people as you can, regardless of if there is an exchange of money or not. Anybody who will agree – from the person who delivers your post to old school friends. Take the opportunity to get lots of experience.

This approach works particularly well if you are willing to notice the difference your service makes for your clients. While, it may take some longer than others, you will start to see the value that you bring – something that makes agreeing an exchange of money for your service a lot easier.

If you want to use this approach, make it easy for yourself and put in place some form of system that supports you to spot the difference you make for your clients. You choose what will work for you: perhaps it’s getting feedback from a knowledgeable third party, maybe it’s having a set of questions you work through after each coaching session or even ask your client directly!

  • Invite your client to pay you what they feel the value that your work has provided.

Some people feel that this avoids making a “difficult” request for money and provides them with an incentive to do superior work. You may also choose to use that method of exchange if you feel that your client is cash poor.

This will depend upon your style but some clients may feel awkward with this request.

  • Invite your client to exchange your coaching for some other form of payment other than money.

In effect this is like a bartering system. For example, perhaps you will agree to work with a website designer to create a site for you in exchange for coaching.

If you choose to use this system then you will make it easier if both of you agree in advance what will be provided by both of you.

Remember that different services will have different value to each individual. For example, someone who does not have a computer and has no intention to have a website will not consider that a website design will be that valuable to them. Someone else who is looking to create a website but hates the idea of working out how to design it themselves will value a website design much more highly!

This means that sometimes in a barter exchange one half can end up feeling that their service is being under valued etc.

  • Exchanging your coaching for an agreed donation to a charity of your choice.

Many who start with this approach use it as a stepping-stone to being comfortable accepting a payment themselves. They find that they can practice asking for a payment in the comfort that a charity who’s work they believe in will benefit.

  • Make an agreement that your client will “pay it forward” by donating their time and/skills etc to someone else.

Again this is often a gentle approach that some like to take to get comfortable asking for an exchange for the service they provide, before moving onto asking that exchange involve money.

  • Wait until a set time/event has happened

This normally takes the form of not charging until qualified or attended a particular course.

Sometimes this particular approach has a moving goal post, for example, I’ll charge once I have done the first training weekend becomes, I’ll charge once I am qualified becomes I’ll charge when I’ve worked with x number of clients or when I’ve done another course etc.

Have I missed an approach? Want to share which way you used, or the option that appeals most to you? Fill in the reply box below and click submit comment.

About the Author

Jen WallerJen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

How to start charging for your coaching – part one 1

 in Coaching  tagged beliefs / business coach / business coaching / career coaching / charging / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching fees / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / fear / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / money / no / performance coaching / personal development / resource / value

One of the common questions asked by those at the start of their coaching journey is a variation of “How do I move from doing pro-bono/free coaching to charging?”

Before I go any further I invite you to consider why I selected the wording of that specific question. For example, one of the variations of that question is “how do you move from …”

I’d really like this post to be useful for you if you found yourself in this situation, not just an interesting piece of information. So before I go any further, let me ask you,

“What’s stopping you from charging for your coaching?”

There are many answers that could have come up for you to that question, each potentially with a different action that you can take. Below I’m going to discuss just a few of those answers.

Beliefs about the value of your coaching

These commonly are voiced as concerns about being good enough, questioning what a client would value about your work and why anyone would choose you etc.

I’ve written before about how to find the confidence to find clients to coach (Read “Finding the confidence to start coaching” for more specific actions you could take) I’ve also written “3 ways to keep your focus on your client and not your own inner critic/ thoughts” if those questions about your value distract you whilst coaching.

I’d certainly encourage anyone to continue to develop their own coaching skills and knowledge and add to that a plea to share that with others rather than keep it to yourself. If it’s beliefs about the value of your coaching, how will you know when you are good enough?

Beliefs around money

Your beliefs around money can be interwoven with your values and perceptions about the world. There are whole books written around the impact of money beliefs upon wealth and I’m certainly not going to try and sum them all up in such a short space.

What I will invite you to do is consider if your beliefs are getting in the way of you starting to charge for your coaching. If so, you have 3 principal options:

1.      Find a way that your money beliefs and charging for your coaching can work together.

2.      Change your beliefs

3.      Do nothing

If you choose number 1, next week’s post may give you some more ideas. For now, what would have to happen for your money beliefs and charging for your coaching to work together?

Not knowing what to charge and how to have that conversation.

There are many ways to decide upon what you want to charge. I suggest that you consider the points I wrote about in the post “How much is your coaching worth?”

It’s not at all uncommon for someone to tell me that they don’t know what to say when talking to someone about charging for their coaching.

One of the pieces of advice I was given when I first started to charge for my coaching was to practice saying my fees in advance. “I charge x for my coaching” The idea is that you become so used to saying the amount that by the time you come to speak to a real client there is no shock, amazement or doubt heard in the tone of your voice.

Practicing that also means that you “ask and then shut up”. It’s not at all unknown for a coach to have talked themselves out of their own coaching fee without the client saying a word. This usually happens after the coach has done a really good job of communicating the value and their offer to a potential client. Yet they just keep talking to try and answer objections that haven’t been raised.

Fear of getting told no

There’s so much that could be written on this topic. For now I’ll ask the following, if you offer someone a cup of tea/coffee and they decline, what would you think?

I suspect you’d probably presume that they weren’t thirsty, perhaps didn’t want a hot drink or maybe didn’t like tea/coffee at all. Immediately interpreting that as meaning they think you are a terrible person etc is probably not high on your list of possible explanations.

Yet, when it comes to inviting someone to experience your coaching service many view a no as meaning something personal about you as an individual. There will be individuals who at this moment in time aren’t “thirsty” for coaching, others who want to try a different approach and some that have tried coaching before and didn’t like it.

I generally find that it is much easier to have a conversation to invite someone to experience your coaching service if you think of it as a service/product and not as selling yourself.

Just to add …

Next Wednesday, I will continue this in part two and discuss when to make a transition to start charging for your coaching.

What else would you add to the question what is stopping you from charging?

About the Author

Jen WallerJen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

Coaching and motivating clients, part two 1

 in Coaching  tagged accountability / action / business coach / business coaching / career coaching / challenge / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / commitment / desire / executive coach / fun / goal / homework / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / momentum / motivation / performance coaching / personal development / resource / words

This is the second of two coaching posts with some pointers if you get “stuck” motivating a client.

Last week’s coaching post “Coaching and motivating clients, part one” talked about who was asking about motivation, asked what motivation means and assisting your client to tap into their natural desire.

Notice the impact of your words

Often as a coach, when the question of motivation comes up, you are looking for your client to take some action. Aid that physical movement by adding a sense of “movement” and momentum in the language you use in your conversation and questions.

My high school English teacher would no doubt shake his head in despair at the following but this is not a post designed to give linguistic labels and detailed explanations.

This section is not only here to get you to move once, it’s here to get you moving.

Adding “ing” to a word often gives a greater sense of movement and momentum so can assist your client to find answers and actions that will help them to turn that momentum into reality.

For example, you can get different answers and responses to using the word “motivated” compared to “motivating.”

Commitment and accountability

Inviting your client to make a commitment and the accountability that this brings can make it much easier for a client to complete a task. You may even argue that it can make it less easy for them to put it off until tomorrow and it never getting done.

Sure, depending on your client, they may still put it off to the last minute and only do it in the immediate hours before your next session but that is still likely to be more than they had done before.

Personally I like to invite clients to agree a specific time and drop me an email between sessions to confirm that they have taken that action. It has been known for specific clients to request that if I don’t hear from them to chase them up with my own email.

I’m aware that not every coach will be willing to offer that as an option. This works for me because of the way I structure my coaching practice as I have built in priority email contact for clients in my coaching packages.

I’m also comfortable providing that accountability as I always phrase it as an invitation, giving the option for the client to decline. This means that the extra accountability is the clients by their own choice.

Just do it

Sometimes, some clients will get so caught up in wanting to explore the why and thinking there is something deeply wrong with them. In reality all that has happened is that they haven’t made taking that action a priority. They have done something else in the time that they could have done this action.

Now there may, or may not, have been good reason to have prioritised something else instead. Regardless of the “cause” the reality is still the same the action/task is still to be completed.

Question for the coach: What would have to happen to make completing this a priority for this client?

Sometimes a really effective strategy can be to get the client to complete a task right then and there. This will obviously depend upon the client, the situation and what they wanted to get from the session.

For example, if they wanted to get motivation to make an appointment they had been putting off, invite them to make the call during the session.

You may not think of this as “traditional” coaching but it moves the client forward quickly and your client will not be concerned that you assisted them using something that isn’t likely to be in “coaching 101”.

Homework

This doesn’t mean overwhelm them with action steps as this can lead to them stopping again. It does mean that you can use “homework” to assist your client to get momentum going by taking the next step once they have started.

Some clients will find taking a huge leap easier than just a small step so consider this when choosing/discussing homework, if any, for your client.
Questions to consider: “What is a really easy next step to take?”
“What would be a fun next step to take?”

Challenge your client

If you have a client who has committed to take action, you’ve done everything you can think of to facilitate that and yet they repeatedly have not taken that action, there is probably something else going on. Don’t be afraid to share what you have observed.

Your role is there to assist them to get value from your work together however it’s a two way relationship, they can’t just be passive. For some clients, in some instances, challenging your client can provide the avenue that your client needs to share what is going on for them.

Sometimes it can reveal an obstacle that for some reason your client hasn’t shared with you.

On other occasions (usually in situations when they are not paying for the coaching themselves) they may not see the value of coaching. For example, in a business when they have been told they “have” to attend your coaching session. This can give you the opportunity to have a conversation about the value they want to get and explore how you can go about providing that.

Note:

I’m also going to mention at this stage that I personally believe that not every single client is going to be a perfect fit for every single coach – and vica-versa. Also sometimes coaching may not be the ideal solution for a particular client at a particular time.

If you and your client decide that you’ve gone as far as you can with your coaching together that does not automatically mean that you are a terrible coach and should beat yourself up about it. Just like I’d say that there it does not mean that there is anything “wrong” with your client.  I suggest you learn what you can from working together and then move on.

These are just some of the things you could do and consider – what else would you add?

About the Author

Jen WallerJen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

Coaching and motivating clients, part one 2

 in Coaching  tagged action / business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / desire / executive coach / fun / goal / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / momentum / motivation / performance coaching / personal development / resource

Last week’s coaching post was “What do you do if you get “stuck” in a coaching session?” This week I want to start to talk about a specific situation that may generate that feeling of being stuck – how to motivate a client.

Today’s post is in direct response to a request for “Statements to help motivate the client.” For reason’s I’ll explain in a moment I’m going to expand upon that request with the aim of providing some useful ways to move forward if you find yourself “stuck” and maybe even avoid it in the first place.

Even with just mentioning a few pointers, there is lots to be said so I am posting part one today with part 2 next Wednesday.

Over time you will develop your own coaching style, you will probably already have certain beliefs about what is a role of a coach. I reserve the right to be flexible about the roles that I take during a coaching session but one of the ones I personally often think of myself as is as a facilitator, or if you prefer a catalyst.

Which is why rather than just give a specific couple of questions or statements that you could learn like a script and recite I want to assist you to be able to produce your own and make a difference with each of your individual clients.

Is the client asking for help with motivation?

I ask not because I’m questioning your judgement as a coach, I ask because motivation is one of those things that can mean slightly different things to different people. It’s not like you can nip down to your local supermarket and buy a tin of motivation.

It’s so much easier for you as a coach to provide a service that delivers what your client is looking for, if you have a conversation about what that means to your client.

Question you may ask your client: “How will you know when this is motivating?”

As a coach, what are you looking to achieve by motivating your client?

I know that this can seem like an obvious question but there is a certain logic behind me asking this. Sometimes if you are stuck it can be because you are asking yourself a less than useful question. If “how can I motivate this client?” isn’t throwing up any useful answers let’s ask a different question – knowing what you want to achieve can open up a whole new range of questions for both you and your client.

Often coaches are looking for a way to assist a client to take action towards their goal. One way is to select a step that is really easy to take to get them started taking action – this is particularly useful if they are imaging a huge overwhelming task. For example, which appears easier – writing one chapter or a whole book?

Making the task seem more manageable can lead to your client taking action easily.

Look to add “fun” into the action – make it more pleasant to do. If a client is imagining that the next step will be as much fun as having a limb amputated with a blunt saw and no anaesthetic then they are not likely to be as keen to rush out and take action. If there is an enjoyment factor then it will be much easier for them to start taking action.

Questions that may be relevant to ask a client: “What would be an easy step to take?”

“How can that be even more fun?”

Assist your client to tap into their natural desire

Sometimes a client can get caught up in small detail and miss or lose sight of what they want to achieve. Assist your client by reconnecting them with that motivation so that they naturally have a desire to take action and move forward.

You may choose to ask them direct questions or use guided imagery about their final goal or completing the next stage. Remember that using a description that uses all senses will assist your client to envision something that is easier to connect with.

This is always easier if the “goal” you are working with is something that your client actually wants. Notice if you actually believe what your client is saying.

If you ever hear and see someone talk about something that they genuinely want and desire, there is a light in their eye and sound in their voice. If you are not hearing and seeing that you have the option to explore in more depth.

Next week we will talk about things such as the impact of words and commitment. Meanwhile if you want to share your own advice, or to ask questions feel free to do so below.

Read part two here.

About the Author

Jen WallerJen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

What do you do if you get “stuck” in a coaching session? 2

 in Coaching  tagged breathe / business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching activity / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / goal / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / listening / obsticle / performance coaching / personal development / questions / resource / stuck

I often see or hear those new to coaching either ask directly or voice a fear about not knowing what to do if they get “stuck” in a coaching session.

For the purposes of this post I’m going to interpret “stuck” as having no idea what to do next. If this is a fear that you experience then let me share with you that you will probably find that the more coaching experience you get, the more techniques, strategies and skills you’ll gain making the prospect of getting stuck less and less likely.

To get you started (or to add to what you have already) I’ve included 7 pointers below.

  1. Breathe!

It certainly doesn’t help the client if you get caught up in your own head with any thoughts going at a thousand miles per hour or start to panic about what you’ll do next. So firstly take a breath and allow yourself to relax.

As you return your full focus to your client you may notice that your client may also benefit from taking a moment to slow down their thoughts and also take some time “out” to breathe.

  1. Listen

With your full focus upon your client pay full attention to what they are saying, the words that they are actually using and not any interpretation you may have added. There can sometimes be clues in the language that they use that when you incorporate into a question can produce powerful responses. Because these questions are “tailored made” for the client you won’t find them written down in any coaching course material.

Also notice how someone says something, for example if they are telling you about something they say they really want yet they don’t “come alive” when they talk about it use it as a signal to explore more about what they are not saying.

  1. Are you clear with what your client wants to get from the session?

If you feel that your coaching session is heading in an aimless direction, it can be worth checking that you (and your client) are clear about what is the goal for the session.

Once you have that clarity ask yourself, and even your client, what will move them closer to achieving that session goal.

  1. What is getting in your clients way?

Have you identified what’s stopping your client from moving forward? You don’t need to have shared this with your client if it’s not appropriate but if you can see the perceived “problem” then it is easier to identify a line of questioning/activity that will move through, around or over what is stopping them.

Sometimes it can be as simple as asking them to take action during the session – if they’ve been putting of making an appointment to give a presentation you’ve established they are more than prepared for – pass them the phone and invite them to do it then and there. If the issue is more than not having prioritised making that appointment it’s likely to highlight what is getting in their way so you can identify the next step.

  1. For your client to see something as a problem, what must a client believe to be true?

Sometimes what can cause a coach to be “stuck” is because a client is telling them about something they think of as a problem, yet the coach doesn’t perceive that as an issue so struggles to find an effective next step.

It can be worth asking yourself what a client must believe is true for that to appear a problem to them.

It can also be worth checking that this is actually a problem for them – sometimes a client will have “heard” and answered a different question to the one you actually asked. So it could be that the reason you can’t imagine how this is a problem is because it isn’t a problem! (I’ve written previously about clients answering a different question to the one asked here.)

  1. What question can I ask that will make the biggest difference right now?

You may not have an idea of the question that’s going to make the biggest difference right now but what about your client? “What question can I ask that will make the biggest difference right now?” firstly allows the client to dictate the direction of the session.

You’ll find that the slight change in asking them to think in a form of a question can be an additional stepping stone to leading to an answer that provides a big insight for the client. It can also be an indication for you as a coach the story that your client is telling themself about this situation.

  1. Do something different

If what you are doing isn’t working then try a different approach.

Perhaps you may want to ask your client to physically move, take the coaching conversation on the move by going for a walk, or just by swapping seats. In the right circumstances this can all be enough to be a catalyst for a new perspective.

Maybe you may want to introduce a “coaching exercise” that involves writing/drawing on paper instead of working mainly talking. Alternatively, you may have a “technique” from a different and complimenting “discipline” that you can put into practice.

By doing something different you will move the coaching session into a new place, one where it can be easier to see the next step towards that session goal.

These are just 7 pointers, what else would you add?

How do you help set a goal for the coaching session?

 in Coaching  tagged beginning coaching / business coach / business coaching / career coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / executive coach / goal / leadership coaching / learning to coach / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal development / resource / session goal

One of the reoccurring questions that I see and hear from those who are beginning to develop their coaching skills is based on the problem of struggling to pin-point a goal for a session.

A common response from more experienced coaches can be a variation of “yes that’s something I remember experiencing and it’s something that gets easier with practice.” Whilst I agree, it is something that gets easier when you practice, let me also give some pointers for that practice 🙂

Firstly, what expectations does your client have about what happens in a coaching session? If you want them to set the direction of the coaching how did you explain that when you both agreed to work together?

If you find that it is a common theme with all your clients struggling to pin point a goal for the session you may want to consider how you are describing coaching and your work.

What could you do so that it was even clearer what a client can do to be prepared before a session? Is there any additional guidance you could give so that it is even easier for them to get the most from your work together?

Perhaps you would like to encourage your clients to consider how they would know it has been a great session? A client often concludes for themselves that this is connected with what they wanted to get from each session (or the goal.) The answer to this question can also be used to form a question using their own language if they come to a session without a “goal” decided.

For example, imagine that Bob is a client who has told you that he will know that it was a good session if he left it feeling relaxed and focused. You could utilise that language in a question to clarify a “session goal” ie what would need to happen in this coaching session for you the leave feeling relaxed and focused?

Perhaps you want to include the use of a coaching preparation form in a format that works for you and your clients. This pre-session exercise can give people time to consider and get into the habit of deciding what they want to get from each session.

I said earlier that I often hear experienced coaches say that identifying a session goal gets easier with practice. Another aspect that can influence how a client “turns up” prepared for the session is their commitment and the value they see from your work together.

I know it’s possible that you are reading this and thinking you are not yet ready to charge for your coaching but I encourage you to consider what you could do to encourage commitment from the people you are coaching right from the start.

What else would you add to how you can help a client set a goal for the coaching session?