“At the centre of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”
(Lao Tzu, Chinese Philosopher and founder of Taoism 600 BC – 531 BC)

Susan Boyle has dominated the entertainment headlines around the world for her appearance on the UK variety TV talent show “Britain’s Got Talent”.

On the same semi-final was a contestant who had started the show as a duo of best friends. The judges rejected the duo but told her that they thought she could make it as a solo artist. The choice that this candidate made was to “go solo” and the friendship is currently in tatters.

Choosing to put her chance of getting the opportunity to pursue her dream above the friendship was something that this performer was prepared to do. How about you? What would you have done?

Now before you think this is going to be a piece that tells you that you must do whatever it takes – notice what your reaction was to that last question. Some will have had no problems saying yes, for others it would have been a categorical no-way.

As far as I’m concerned there’s no judgement about if you were a yes or a no, its just interesting to note how it works for you. You see when we describe what we want there is often an unspoken condition and assumption in there.

For example, you may want “financial security” … as long as you don’t have to work 16-hour days.

Maybe you want “stability” … and only have to deal with certain people.

Perhaps you want to loose weight … and still be friendly and approachable.

It’s not at all uncommon that leaving some of this unsaid actually makes it harder to work towards what you want.

This week I invite you to play with the following so that you completely word what you want. You’ll need a piece of paper and something to write with to make this easier.

1. At the top of one side write “I want [and put what you want] because …”

Remember that we are only playing here, I’m not asking you to commit to taking any action or following this for the rest of your life!

2. Once you have written that down, underneath your heading write all the reasons you want that.

Again this is your list, so the length of it will be unique to you

3. On the other side of the paper write “I don’t want [insert what you want] because…”

4. This time write any reasons you can think of why you wouldn’t want this.

5. Draw a line under your 2 lists and modify what you want to eliminate the reasons why you don’t want it.

For example, “I want to run my own business” may become

“I want to run my own business, doing things that I love and easily have plenty of time to spend with my family.”

6. Write your answer to part 5 in the form “I want … because” and then answer the question.

7. On the other side of the paper write “I don’t want … because” using your answer from part 5.

8. Answer any reasons you can think of that you wouldn’t want that.

9 Repeat steps 5 – 8 until the question of why you don’t want this just seems ridiculous

Notice at no time have I asked you to take any action on this so you can put anything down, even if the possibility of it happening seems insanely impractical 😉

Bonus step

Keep playing with what you want until it just seems amazing to be able to have that.

So I want to be rich enough to pay off debts and have enough to pay bills may appear to be a ridiculous request but there may be an even more powerful want.

For example I want to be rich enough from doing things I love and having enough to pay off debts and bills and travel around the world (or pay my children’s university fees etc) appears, to me, a far more amazing want.

Remember to also double check for any modifications with the “I don’t want question …”

Once you have defined what you really want, notice the difference between that and how it was originally worded.

If a fun next step springs to mind about what you want to do, by all means take action on it.

Have a fantastic week

Love

Jen

This was originally posted on www.YourChangingDirection.com