“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
(Eleanor Roosevelt)

Imagine the following scenario:

You are out in a social setting with a group of friends and acquaintances. As you arrive there is someone you hardly know getting a round of drinks and they ask you what you want. When you reply, they answer, “Oh you won’t like that” and get you something else instead.

There’s a jukebox in the corner and for some reason you end up there choosing the music to be played next – that same person comes up looks at what you are selecting says “Oh you won’t like that” and chooses something else for you.

There’s a similar story when it comes to choosing something to eat – you have selected something from the menu and this same person says what is becoming increasingly familiar “Oh you won’t like that!”

What would your reaction be? Do you take kindly to someone telling you your business and what you’ll like, particularly someone you hardly know?

Granted that person may turn out to be right, when you try the food it may not be to your liking, but their comment is based upon their own experience rather than knowing your tastes.

Yet I come across so many people who don’t give a second thought for making up complete strangers minds for them.

You may be reading this and wondering where and with whom I am hanging out to encounter such behaviour and to be fair it’s not that I encounter lots of people when I’m out telling me what I should be eating and drinking etc. I do see and hear it in other contexts though …

Maybe you’ve heard others, perhaps even yourself, say something like:
“If they really knew me they wouldn’t like me”,
“I won’t apply for that job as I already know they won’t say yes”
or “I couldn’t possibly talk to that person, they are far too attractive to actually want to talk to me!”

So often people imagine what another person will say or how they will react based on nothing more than their own opinions rather than letting the other person decide using their own taste. They will choose not to apply for a job because they have decided that they will not be given the role. They will not cross a room to talk to the gorgeous stranger because in their heads they’ve already decided what that stranger likes and its not them.

Now the act of mind reading and predicting what the other person is thinking in itself is not the thing that causes a problem for many people. The problem comes with what they then do with that mind read – first they normally listen to it and treat it as a far more important piece of information than any other thought or piece of information. Then they take action based solely on that thought – which may or may not be true.

This week I invite you to let another person make up their own minds and don’t do it for them.

If at any time you catch yourself doing a spot of mind reading, congratulate yourself for spotting that in the first place. Then tell yourself that yes they may – or they may not.

Have an enjoyable week with less mind-reading 🙂

Love

Jen

This was originally posted on www.YourChangingDirection.com