“There are other tears, bright, clear, untroubled, Shining as the sun, untouched of care.” (Zabel Sibil Asadour)

Zabel Sibil Asadour, an Armenian poet, novelist, and teacher, beautifully captured the essence of joyful, untroubled tears in her writing. Her words invite us to consider emotions that come not from struggle, but from a place of deep clarity, connection, and joy.

In my coaching, I often guide clients toward this kind of clarity—the moments when their eyes shine with the light of new understanding, unburdened and free. But what does it take for someone to reach that place?

Exploring What They Truly Want

One of the most profound gifts you can offer your clients is the space to explore what they truly want. Not the surface-level desires driven by external expectations, but the deeper longings that often lie hidden beneath layers of “shoulds” and “ought tos.”

This process involves looking beyond logical next steps and even past desires, to discover what feels alive for them right now.

As coaches, we help clients get in touch with what they would love—the life they want to create, the work that energises them, the relationships they long for. But this exploration doesn’t always feel easy for all clients, all of the time.

What gets in the way? Fear of disappointment, a sense of unworthiness, or even the discomfort of acknowledging something they’ve buried for years. Maybe a client has a lot of thinking and beliefs can be held around it being wrong to actually say what you want – did they grow up hearing “I want doesn’t get” as a rebuke? Helping clients navigate these blocks with compassion and curiosity is fundamental to unlocking those moments of clarity.

The Spark of Shining Eyes

You’ve likely seen it before—that moment when a client connects with something deeply meaningful, and their eyes light up. It’s as if they’ve tapped into a reservoir of inner wisdom, and for those moments, the clutter of the mind clears.

That feeling—the one that brings shining eyes or even joyful tears—is worth paying attention to. It’s often a sign they’re on the right track, reconnecting with their truest desires and purpose.

Encouraging clients to trust these moments and lean into them, rather than brushing them aside, can be transformative. When they allow themselves to sit with that feeling, it can provide the clarity and confidence they need to move forward.

Your Role as the Coach

How comfortable are you when a client wells up with emotion, especially joyful tears?

For some clients, these moments can feel overwhelming or even embarrassing. They might start to apologise or laugh it off, dismissing the depth of what they’re feeling. This is where your presence as a coach becomes invaluable.

Can you hold space for those emotions without rushing to reassure them or diminish their importance? Can you gently help clients recognise the significance of what they’re experiencing and see it as a signal of alignment with their true selves?

And what about you? Have you noticed moments when you, too, connect with that feeling, when your eyes shine alongside your client’s?

Reflection for Coaches

• How do you support clients in exploring what they would truly love?
• What do you notice when your clients have moments of clarity or insight?
• How do you respond when a client wells up with happy tears or shining eyes?

Personally, in those moments of shining eyes and joyful tears, you witness your client’s deepest connection to themselves. While it’s not the only way this connection can reveal itself, I find it a huge honour—and one of my greatest joys of being a transformative coach—to be with someone as they recognise that connection.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here