Monthly Archives: October 2024


Questions on Anger: Navigating Forgiveness and Trust in Coaching

The image shows a vibrant sunset or sunrise sky, transitioning from soft blue and purple hues at the top to warm orange and yellow tones near the horizon. The quote is centred in black text and reads: "He that advised thee not to let the Sun set in thine anger, did not command thee to trust a deceiving Enemy next Morning." The quote is attributed to Thomas Fuller.

The quote of the day is:

“He that advised thee not to let the Sun set in thine anger, did not command thee to trust a deceiving Enemy next Morning.” (Thomas Fuller)

Questions For Coaches:

  • How do you support clients in understanding the difference between letting go of resentment and trusting someone untrustworthy?
  • How does learning to forgive without being naïve empower you to maintain healthier relationships?
  • If it was OK to forgive yourself, what does that prompt?

Bonus Questions:

  • How do you decide when to let go of anger and when to take a stand for yourself?
  • What impact does holding onto anger have on your ability to make clear judgments about others?
  • Is there a “right” amount of time that needs to pass before you can forgive?
  • What does this quote prompt for you?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


Questions on Perfection: Coaching Insights for Embracing Imperfection

The image has a textured gray concrete background with subtle lighting, giving it a rough, industrial feel. In the centre, there is white text in a simple font that reads: "Perfection is a trifle dull. It is not the least of life's ironies that this, which we all aim at, is better not quite achieved." This quote is attributed to W. Somerset Maugham.

The quote of the day is:

“Perfection is a trifle dull. It is not the least of life’s ironies that this, which we all aim at, is better not quite achieved.” (W. Somerset Maugham)

Questions For Coaches:

  • What areas of your life might improve if you allowed yourself to be less focused on being perfect?
  • What is the connection between imperfection & growth?
  • When did you hold back from asking a client a question because it wasn’t quite phrased “right”?
  • How does this quote relate to your coaching?

Bonus Questions:

  • In what ways have you noticed that striving for perfect leads to stress or dissatisfaction?
  • How do you define success, and how does that relate to your ideas of perfection?
  • What would it look like for you to embrace ‘good enough’ instead of striving for perfect?
  • How do you support clients in recognising and challenging their perfectionist tendencies?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way, even if you are a perfectionist, here.


Missed Opportunities: Some Coaching Thoughts on Shifting from Scarcity to Abundance

The image shows a serene scene at a beach with calm waters dotted with several sailboats anchored in the distance. The foreground features a sandy beach where a wooden row boat is resting, pulled slightly onto the shore. The sky is clear and blue, complementing the tranquil blue of the water. An inspirational quote overlays the image at the top, stating: "When one misses an opportunity one is apt to fancy that another will never present itself." It attributes the quote to Marie Bashkirtseff.

The quote of the day is:

“When one misses an opportunity one is apt to fancy that another will never present itself.” (Marie Bashkirtseff)

Marie Bashkirtseff, was a young artist and writer in the last half of the 1800s. Her own life was marked by missed opportunities—illness cut short her dreams of becoming a singer, forcing her to shift her focus to painting and writing, illustrating how unexpected paths can still lead to fulfilment. Bashkirtseff’s observation here resonates with a common human experience—the fear that opportunities are fleeting, and once gone, they may never return. But is that true?

How Good Are You at Predicting the Future?

The feeling that missed opportunities may never come again is often fuelled by the mind’s attempt to predict the future. But how accurate are we in forecasting what will happen? Most of us have experienced moments where things turned out differently than we expected—sometimes for the better.

In coaching, we often see clients stuck because they believe that a particular missed chance was their “only” shot. Yet, if they look back at their lives, they may notice that new and even better opportunities arose, often when least expected. This begs the question: What if the future holds possibilities we cannot yet imagine?

Not Being Able to See Alternatives

When we miss what feels like a golden opportunity, it’s easy to slip into a mindset of scarcity. We can get caught in a loop that focuses purely on the missed opportunities in question. The belief that another chance won’t come along can blind us to the possibilities that are still present, or those that may lie ahead. But what if the missed opportunity was just one of many paths to a fulfilling outcome?

Consider this: What if something better or simply different is ahead, and we just haven’t seen it yet? The unknown can be both a source of fear and a wellspring of potential. By focusing on what’s lost, we may be missing what’s right in front of us or what’s just around the corner.

What if we didn’t take our thinking so seriously? Our minds often tell us stories about missed chances, convincing us that we’ll never get another shot. But what if those thoughts aren’t the final word? Our thinking is fluid—it changes, it shifts, and it’s not always as reliable as we may believe. By holding our thoughts more lightly, we create space for new insights and fresh opportunities to emerge. Perhaps the only thing standing between us and the next opportunity is our own attachment to the way we think it should look.

As coaches, we can support clients in recognising these blind spots by helping them challenge their thoughts around missed chances. Are they seeing the full spectrum of what’s available, or just what their mind has fixated on?

Trusting that Opportunities Will Come Again

What if you trusted that opportunities, much like the ocean’s tide, will flow back? If you’re in a place where this quote resonates because you feel you’ve just missed an important opportunity, ask yourself: Would you feel differently if you believed that something else—possibly even better—was on its way?

This shift in mindset can help alleviate the pressure of feeling that one missed chance defines your future. Instead, it can open you up to seeing life as a series of ongoing opportunities, some of which may be far better suited for your growth and happiness than the one you initially hoped for.

The Nature of Opportunity

What is the true nature of opportunity? Is it something that exists independently, waiting to be seized? Or is it a product of how we perceive and engage with the world? Our personal “rules” about what qualifies as an opportunity can limit or expand our view. For example, if we define opportunity narrowly—thinking it only comes in the form of a job offer, a relationship, or a specific project—we may miss the subtler opportunities for growth, learning, and connection that are all around us.

What if opportunities are not fixed, but fluid? Could it be that by loosening our grip on rigid expectations, we allow ourselves to see the full spectrum of opportunities available to us? Perhaps the “missed” opportunity was not the only path forward but one of many.

Expanding Your Perspective

If you find yourself dwelling on a missed opportunity, consider reflecting on these questions:

  • What if I knew that other opportunities were coming my way? How would that change how I feel now?
  • How open am I to seeing opportunities in different forms?
  • What “rules” do I have about what counts as an opportunity? Could these be limiting me?
  • What opportunities are right in front of me that I might be overlooking because I’m focused on the past?

As coaches, we can help clients shift from a mindset of scarcity to one of abundance. We can guide them to recognise that opportunities, like time, are part of an ongoing flow. Rather than fixating on what’s lost, we can help them tune in to the possibilities that are always present.

In Conclusion

Marie Bashkirtseff’s quote reminds us that while it’s normal to grieve missed opportunities, we can also remain open to the fact that life is filled with new chances. Next time you or your client feels the sting of missed opportunities, take a moment to let go of that thinking or question the assumptions behind that feeling. The future is unwritten, and new opportunities may be just around the corner—if only we keep our eyes and minds open and willing to notice.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way, regardless of what missed opportunities you feel you’ve already had, here.


Who are you really? Exploring identity with Coaching From The Soul

A short clip from our Coaching From The Soul, 25th September live stream. Every 3-4 weeks myself and some coaching colleagues get together online to share a conversation with the broad brief of what we’re seeing about what it’s like to be human! In a slightly different format this week we brought a question that we’d like to see more about, and then we had a 5-minute coaching style conversation with one of our fellow coaches. In this clip I am considering what question to play with – what is your answer to the question I settle upon?

How to Watch More Coaching From The Soul

To watch the whole live stream that this clip came from, and see where this conversation went, you can see that here.
Join us for our next call, tonight – Wednesday 16th October, at 6.15 pm UK live for our next call and see what topics come up for us this month.


The Coaching From The Soul YouTube channel has lots of short clips taken from previous conversations, as well as the complete past chats.


Self-Conceit and Growth: Coaching Questions to Cultivate Awareness

The image shows a large metallic wrecking ball smashing through a white wall, with sharp pieces of debris flying outward in all directions. The impact is depicted dramatically, with jagged fragments of the wall breaking apart, suggesting destruction and chaos. The background is clean and white, making the wrecking ball and the shattering effect the focal point. Below the image, there is text that reads: "Self-conceit may lead to self-destruction." This quote is attributed to The Frog and the Ox by Aesop.

The quote of the day is:

“Self-conceit may lead to self-destruction.” (The Frog and the Ox, Aesop)

Questions For Coaches:

  • What does self-conceit mean to you?
  • In what areas of your life could self-conceit be holding you back from growth or improvement?
  • How do you know when you have reached your current limits?
  • What are you afraid will happen if you reach beyond what you think your capabilities currently are?
  • What does this quote prompt for you?

Bonus Questions:

  • How can you develop a more balanced view of yourself that avoids the pitfalls of self-conceit?
  • How do you feel at the prospect of honest feedback? Does your answer change if you think of it delivered kindly?
  • What if your self-honesty was delivered kindly?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


Beyond Mistakes: Coaching Questions to Inspire Action and Self-Compassion

The image features two directional signs positioned at an angle, illustrating contrasting ideas. The sign pointing to the left is red and labelled “NOTHING” in bold white letters, while the sign pointing to the right is yellow and labelled “ALL” in bold black letters. Beneath the signs, there is a quote in large, clear font that reads: "Only he who does nothing makes a mistake" This quote is attributed to a French proverb. The background is simple and white, allowing the signs and text to stand out prominently.

The quote of the day is:

“Only he who does nothing makes a mistake” (French Proverb)

Questions For Coaches:

  • How do you currently handle mistakes in your personal or professional life?
  • What role do mistakes play in driving innovation and creativity?
  • How does your perception of mistakes affect your willingness to take action?
  • Is choosing to do nothing always a mistake?

Bonus Questions:

  • What insights arise when you reflect on past inactions and their impact on your life?
  • How do you define failure, and how does that influence your willingness to take action?
  • What role does self-compassion play in helping you move past the fear of making mistakes?
  • Is there an area of your life where you are more reluctant to take action in case it is an error?
  • In what ways can you support clients in taking action despite their fear of it not working?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.


Choose Your Adventure: Navigating Life’s Big and Small Journeys

The image depicts a tranquil outdoor camping scene by a lake, surrounded by lush green hills and distant mountains under a clear blue sky. In the foreground, there are two tents: one orange and one yellow, set up on a grassy area. A campfire with flickering flames is situated on the ground, encircled by a ring of stones. Above the fire, a black pot is suspended on a tripod, suggesting that something is being cooked. To the side of the fire, a bright orange backpack and a rolled-up sleeping mat are placed on the grass. A wooden chair is nearby, providing a place to sit and enjoy the surroundings. An axe is resting on a log, indicating preparation for chopping wood. A lantern is also visible, adding a warm ambiance to the scene. At the top of the image, there is text that reads: "Would you like an adventure now," he said casually to John, "or would you like to have your tea first?" This quote is attributed to J.M. Barrie's Peter and Wendy.

The quote of the Day is:

“‘Would you like an adventure now,’ he said casually to John, ‘or would you like to have your tea first?'” (J. M. Barrie, Peter and Wendy)

J.M. Barrie, the Scottish author and playwright, is best known for creating Peter Pan, the boy who refused to grow up. His novel Peter and Wendy (1911), a follow-up to the play that introduced Peter Pan, immortalized the boy who wouldn’t grow up for readers everywhere. The story is filled with adventure, youthful wonder, and the tension between staying forever young or embracing the journey of growing up.

If you were given that choice—an adventure now, or tea first—what would your gut response be?

Barrie’s whimsical quote invites us to think about adventure as a choice—one that’s often right in front of us, waiting to be made. But how often do we, like John, hesitate, preferring the comfort of the known over the allure of the unknown? Whether it’s the fear of failure, doubt in our abilities, or simply the cosiness of routine, we often delay the adventures life offers. Yet, when we pause to consider, we might ask ourselves: What are we waiting for?

What Is an Adventure to You?

Adventure means something different for everyone. For one person, it’s travelling to distant lands; for another, it might be starting a business or even learning a new hobby. Depending upon your situation, it may be what to other seems so ordinary, like a trip out to the shops. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures—it can be found in the small, everyday decisions that push us out of our own personal comfort zones.

Does stepping into the unknown require courage and thoughtfulness? Sometimes, absolutely. Adventure isn’t always about leaping without looking; it’s about intentional exploration, knowing there are risks but stepping forward anyway. Does it have to feel that way? I think, how we feel in any given moment is down to what our thinking is doing, so no, I don’t think we have to feel that. At any moment we can let go of any specific thinking and new thought will flow, bringing its own feelings. So, when faced with a new opportunity, ask yourself: What would it look like to embrace this adventure, however big or small?

Perhaps the better question is: Is it possible that adventure is less about where you go and more about who you become through the process?

The Power of Thought: How We Shape Our Adventures

Our perceived world is shaped by how we think. The idea of an adventure—whether it’s a grand expedition or simply a shift in routine—demonstrates how we use our thoughts to interpret and create experiences. A mundane task can become an adventure if, for example, we approach it with curiosity and openness.

As coaches, part of our role is to help individuals notice their thinking and explore insights. Often, resistance to adventure isn’t about the situation itself, but how it’s being framed. For example, are they focused on the risks or the possibilities? Do they trust the unknown, so there is more excitement and less fear, or do they feel it can only be safe if their intellect has figured everything out in advance with absolute certainty?

Balancing Adventure with Regular Life

Barrie’s quote subtly reminds us that adventure doesn’t mean abandoning our regular lives. After all, Peter offers John a choice: adventure or tea? Perhaps both? You don’t have to choose between bold steps and daily routines—there can be a balance to be found. You can embark on new journeys while still making time for the familiar comforts of life.

Sometimes, the greatest adventures are the ones that seamlessly integrate with the rhythm of everyday life. A small change in your routine, a new project, or even a shift in perspective can bring a sense of adventure into what might seem mundane.

Taking Bold Steps and Reflection

How do you know when it’s time to take bold steps and when it’s time to pause and reflect? Adventures often require action, but they can also call for moments of reflection. Boldness without introspection can lead to reckless leaps; reflection without action can leave us stuck in place. There’s wisdom in knowing when to move forward and when to pause.

Perhaps the key lies in being attuned to your internal signals. As a coach, you can help clients explore this balance. What feels like a bold step today? What’s the next small, adventurous action they can take, and how can they reflect on their progress along the way?

Encouraging reflection while in the midst of adventure allows for course corrections, learning, and growth in real-time. It can make it easier to notice and hear our own inner wisdom when we take a moment to listen and check what we already know to do, or not do.

In closing, Barrie’s question is both playful and profound: Would you like an adventure now, or would you like to have your tea first? It reminds us that adventure is always available if we choose to embrace it. Sometimes it’s about stepping boldly into the unknown; other times, it’s simply about shifting our mindset. Either way, adventure and tea can coexist—and perhaps, the best adventures are those that make space for both.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you own your own adventures here.


Navigating Ambition: Questions for Coaches on Balancing Success and Happiness

The image portrays a three-dimensional wooden mannequin, similar to those used by artists for drawing reference, pushing a large crumpled ball of yellow paper up a steep hill marked by a white chalk line on a smooth, dark slate background. The wooden mannequin, captured in motion, struggles against the slope, embodying the physical exertion required for its task. Above this scene, the quote "Ambition is a passion, at once strong and insidious, and is very apt to cheat a man out of his happiness and his true respectability of character" by Edward Bates is displayed in white text

The quote of the day is:

“Ambition is a passion, at once strong and insidious, and is very apt to cheat a man out of his happiness and his true respectability of character” (Edward Bates)

Questions For Coaches:

  • How do you encourage clients to pursue ambitious goals without losing sight of their happiness and personal fulfilment?
  • How can you pursue success without letting ambition overshadow well-being or ethics?
  • Honestly, for something you’re ambitious about, do you truly want it?

Bonus Questions:

  • How does the pursuit of ambition impact your sense of inner peace and mental clarity?
  • In what ways does your ambition reflect who you truly are, versus who you feel you need to be?
  • How can you build a business strategy for your coaching practice that balances ambitious growth with sustainable practices and values?
  • How can your coaching help clients redefine success in a way that supports both achievement and personal happiness?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is a transformative coach dedicated to empowering individuals to get out of their own way and make a meaningful impact in the world. With an impactful, nurturing coaching style, Jen supports clients in unlocking their potential and achieving their goals. As an experienced coach and trainer, she guides clients from self-doubt to success.

Discover how Jen can support you to get out of your own way here.