Each Monday on this blogs Facebook page I usually issue the following question and invitation:
“Have you written/seen a blog post in the past week that you think will interest other coaches? If so you are welcome to share a link here for others to also read.”
Here are links to some of the posts that have been shared in recent Monday invites:
Thank you to all the coaches who, by linking to these posts, have taken the time to share their thoughts, expertise and knowledge.
The Monday invite on Facebook is a regular feature so if you’ve written or read a post that will interest other coaches please feel free to share on our Facebook Page.
There has been a recent trend on Twitter of the hashtag #IAlwaysGetAnnoyedWhen and it got me thinking about the last time I got annoyed. I am not the sort of person who is easily angered or frustrated so it took some thinking and I decided that the times when I get annoyed are usually when I can’t help somebody.
I decided to start my business to give me the ability to focus on doing what I love – helping people. The desire to help is also why I volunteer for the local council as an Employment Mentor helping the long term unemployed overcome barriers to work. So when I can’t help somebody I feel frustrated, disappointed and like I have failed.
There are likely to have been times when you have been trying to coach somebody, or manage somebody, and no matter how much you try or what techniques you use, you just can’t achieve the outcome you are working towards. How does that make you feel? Probably similar to myself. My first reaction is to look internally to try and work out why I “failed”, why my skills “weren’t good enough” on this occasion, and what else I “should have done”. But there is one simple truth I overlook – you can’t help everybody.
So how can you get some real perspective on the situation and why this happens?
Firstly, it is worth remembering that these occasions are very few and far between. When you assess the objective data you will see that these cases make up a tiny amount of the people you have worked with and it’s important not to forget all the successes you have had because of one or two cases which didn’t work out.
Secondly, as a coach you are there to facilitate change. As Angus McLeod describes in his book Performance Coaching,
“The coach is not the player, but an instrument, in service to the art of the coachee…”
so there will be occasions when despite your best efforts the coachee cannot or will not change. This can be due to lack of will, lack of skill, or lack of ability. There may be occasions, such as one I recently experienced, where the person I was working with needed a much more directive intervention than I could offer through coaching. In that case the best help I could give was to ensure he was referred to the best source of that support. If I had tried to work with his it would have been frustrating for him and may have weakened his trust in any interventions subsequently recommended.
Thirdly, to make a real collaborative team and achieve the goals the coachee desires will need an element of rapport. If the two of you do not have that rapport, then the relationship can be strained and any work you try to do together may be undermined. Similar to when you are looking for a romantic life partner, it is better for either party to recognise at an early stage that the chemistry is not there and to seek an alternative partnership which will be more productive. There is no shame in this, it is simply that you didn’t “click”.
And finally, as well as doing some self-reflection, use your coaching supervision, or other coaches/managers to discuss the situation. There is always something to learn from these events and it may be something that is visible to you through the guided reflection that coaching supervision gives you.
About Jeannette Attryde
Jeannette Attryde is the owner of Different Perspectives, Coaching and Consultancy. She has over 17 years’ experience in leading and managing teams of varying sizes in a range of organisations including Blue Chip Financial Services companies. Whilst specialising in Leadership and Management coaching, she also works with people from all walks of life to identify and achieve their goals through tailored personal coaching. Sessions are conducted face to face, by phone/Skype or online messenger.
Jeannette loves connecting with people and can be reached in the various ways below
In today’s guest post Dr. Rhonda Anderson shares some of her experience and knowledge with some practical advice:
Networking on Social Media 101
By Dr. Rhonda Anderson
Social media has become a way of life and it impacts our personal and professional lives in a major way. There are millions of people each day sharing information about their lives, businesses, news, sports, and the list goes on. It is evident that in order for your coaching business to thrive, you must also utilize social media. If you are not using social media and you are successful as a life coach, then kudos to you. On the other hand, you are leaving a lot of money on the table by choosing not to be active on the world-wide web (www).
The one big advantage of using social media is that it is FREE! It adds tons of value to your bottom line when you market your services and products on these platforms. It is the first place people look to find you when you tell them you are in business. I am not a master at social media, but there are a few things I have learned that can help you with building your network full of potential clients to market your services to and to build a tribe who will respect you as a life coach. Below are a few tips to help you build your network without leaving your home. Especially, if at times you do not have time to do face-to-face networking. Below are a couple of things you can do to make yourself visible on social media and begin growing your network of potential customers and collaborators.
Get social! Choose social media platforms that are right for your coaching practice.
Establish yourself as a subject matter expert in your coaching niche(s).
Start and/or join groups and discussions on your social media platforms where your target audience is.
Don’t be afraid to connect with people you do not know. Add them to your network and establish a relationship before selling to them. Don’t be afraid to ask for a conference call or a face-to-face meeting if the person is local.
About Dr. Rhonda Anderson
Dr. Rhonda Anderson is a Life Transition Strategist and the President/CEO of A Scholars Touch, LLC. She specializes in Life, Education, and Business coaching. Dr. Rhonda serves youth (ages 12-21), adults, and entrepreneurs with obtaining success both personally and professionally. She has coached clients both nationally and internationally in group settings and individually. In addition, she is the co-founder of iNSPIRE Entrepreneurs and is the co-host of a web series called Changing Lives 365.
In today’s guest post coach and mentor Lottie Moore shares some of her practical experience and knowledge:
5 Ways To Get Your Clients To Breakthrough When They’re Well and Truly Stuck
By Lottie Moore
At some point in our coaching careers we all come across the clients who are ‘stuck’, who, despite our best efforts, are unable to move forwards with their plans, dreams, or ambitions.
As coaches this can be a frustrating process. As an outside pair of eyes, we can often see, or at least guess at, what the issue is that is holding the client back. Quite often it can feel that there is an elephant in the room with us, glaringly obvious, and yet unmentioned by our client despite all our best lines of questioning and cajoling.
Sometimes even when the client recognises what it is that is holding them back from achieving their goals, they are unable to break out of the old, destructive patterns of behaviour. You may sit in sessions with them where it seems likely that they are going to breakthrough what is holding them back, only to see them in a fortnights time to realise nothing has changed.
So how do we help these clients? How can we facilitate them moving forward when they appear to be well and truly stuck? Here are my top 5 tips to creating breakthrough when it’s needed most
1. Drop the F-bomb – sometimes your client may just require some serious reinforcement to realise how important this issue is. A carefully placed f@@k, or equivalent bad language, can bring it home with a bang how pivotal you think this issue is.
2. Use Physical Metaphors – creating great confidence and self-belief in one area can hugely assist your client to live that out in other areas of their lives. Activities like glass walking, or arrow breaking with the throat can have a deeply impactful effect on all areas of life, and learning the skills to use these activities in your daily work is easier than you think.
3. Look Back To Move Forward – you don’t need to be an expert in timeline therapy to assist you client to look back on their past experiences to find out where the initial cause of the limiting belief sits. By uncovering what lies at the root of the problem, they can then start to take steps to move away from past learnings that are holding them back.
4. Create Anchors – although physical metaphors are great for this, they are not the only way to enable your client to use this powerful NLP technique. Get them to think back on a time were they were hugely successful and happy, then assist them to create a physical anchor such as a simple hand movement. When they are struggling with what is holding them back, they can then use this anchor to root them in success and positivity.
5. Be Kind – Life can always seem easier to an external set of eyes, but it’s important to remember that we all have our own shiz to deal with. Don’t let yourself get frustrated or disappointed if it’s taking your client longer than you would have hoped to reach that moment of breakthrough. Sometimes all anyone needs is patience, understanding, and encouragement, so keep being that positive influence in your client’s life, and reminding them of what they are capable of when they set their minds to it.
Clients that take a long time to reach a point of breakthrough can rock our confidence in our coaching ability, but also can be hugely rewarding when they finally get there. I hope these 5 tips will be of use to you next time a client that is well and truly stuck comes through your door.
About Lottie Moore
Lottie is a multi-award winning coach and mentor who lives life outside of the comfort zone. Best known for her firewalking, and physical metaphors training, Lottie is passionate about creating change for the individuals and groups that she works, encouraging them to look beyond their limitations and shine
This week’s TED Talk clip is from an independent TEDx event: Thinking beyond your head | Mikkel Rasmussen | TEDxTottenham
Clip length: 11 mins 54 secs
Prefer to watch via YouTube? In that case you’ll need to click here.
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Jeannette Attryde is the owner of 
Lottie is a multi-award winning coach and mentor who lives life outside of the comfort zone. Best known for her firewalking, and physical metaphors training, Lottie is passionate about creating change for the individuals and groups that she works, encouraging them to look beyond their limitations and shine