“The key to good technique is to keep your hands, feet and hips straight and centred. If you are centred, you can move freely. The physical centre is your belly; if your mind is set there as well, you are assured of victory in any endeavour. “
(Morihei Ueshiba, founder of Akido)
As a coach there will no doubt be occasions when you introduce something new to a client, either a new concept or exercise. Today’s post invites you to consider the language you are using to do that.
When I was employed as an in house trainer in the corporate world, I remember being involved in the training of a new piece of software. It was something that many of the customer facing staff would need to use fluently in order to do their jobs.
There was one particular section that when most people first saw it they thought that it looked really complicated with an overwhelming amount of information.
I’ve written before about the stretch comfort and panic model to learning (Click here to read it again.) What happened for those individuals is that when they first looked at that was that they skipped from comfort, through stretch and straight to panicking about how difficult it looked and “how would they ever be able to use that system?”
This is not the most useful state for someone to be working in and learning something new!
However, some individuals looked at the screen and didn’t panic. It didn’t really cross their mind that this could be “difficult”. They were quite happy with the idea that they could learn to use the screen and the system.
Then there were others who would react somewhere between those two extremes.
These were groups where we did not know every delegate so it was impossible to know in advance who was likely react to that screen in which manner.
As a coach we often use our questioning and language skills. It’s also not outside the realms of possibility that you introduce a new concept or exercise to a client. So what would you say to introduce that section to an individual?
Before I share how I approached this, let me share the outcome I wished from the words I selected.
I personally wanted something that would fit with all possible reactions.
Now, when I coach, I have the same wish for my clients when I introduce something new – whether that be during the actual session or as an “action assignment”. I’m looking to act as a catalyst to making the experience as easy as I possibly can.
So what phrase did I often use in the case of the training situation?
“The next section is much easier to use in reality than it may first appear.”
Using just one sentence of carefully chosen words meant that what had been a stage of the training where many of the delegates worried and panicked actually relaxed and often laughed. Which apart from being a much more pleasant experience for them meant it was noticeable how much more easily and quickly groups would start using that part of the program.
Today I invite you to consider the language that you are using to introduce either new concepts or homework to your clients. How can you use your language to make it even easier for your clients to quickly and effortlessly focus on taking action?
“The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the new discoveries, is not ‘Eurika!’ (I found it) but ‘That’s funny …’ “
(Isaac Asimov)
“There is no doubt that creativity is the most human resource of all. Without creativity, there would be no progress, and we would be forever repeating the same patterns.”
(Edward de Bono)
“You don’t have to see the whole staircase – just take the first step.”
(Martin Luther King)
“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
(Friedrich Nietzsche, philosopher)
I was chatting to another participant at an event recently and the conversation turned to the work of the next speaker. My comment was that, like many books, I had dipped in and out of his book, reading different chapters at different times.
The look of relief from the other person was enormous – “Oh I‘m so glad you do that too.” She went onto explain that she often did that but felt that the right way to read books was from cover to cover.
I don’t recall that it had ever really occurred to me that there was just one “right way” to read a book, just the one that fitted the reason I was reading. Reading a fiction book, for instance, lends itself to reading it from start to finish. Yet, getting specific information from an encyclopaedia, lends itself to just reading a specific part of that book. I guess I consider what I want to get from reading each piece.
With regards to this particular speaker’s book I knew that I was reading because I was curious about the topic – not because I was going to sit a test on it anytime in the future and needed to recall every single piece contained within each page. This meant I had dipped in and out at various times to the bits I was particular curious about and wanted to find out more about. It had obviously worked as I was there participating in discovering more about his latest work.
Later I was talking to a relatively new client on the phone when he asked me if he was doing a particular technique right. I think he expected me to start questioning him about how he was doing the technique as he sounded surprised when I actually asked “Is what you’re doing working, are you getting the outcome that you want?”
He went on to admit that the way that he was doing this technique was getting much better results then his previous method. We did go onto play with the technique even more but that wasn’t because he was doing it wrong, it was to see if he could make it even stronger for him.
When people describe to me something that they are doing, often one of my first questions is “does it work?” From there we can play with tweaking the current method or doing something totally different.
This week I invite you to play with the following:
1. Pick something that you are not sure if you are doing “the right way”.
For example, maybe you are not sure if you marketing “the right way” or perhaps, you’re not sure if you are using the right way to loose weight.
This is something we are going to play with and some tweaks may work better than your existing methods and some may not. Pick something where you are happy that the results may be inconsistent while you play and find the way that works for you.
There may well be a better way to perform in job interviews but if you already do interviews well you may not want to choose to experiment in one for your dream job!
2. What outcome do you want to create?
3. Considering that situation, is the method you are using getting the results that you want?
How can you tweak the existing method so that it is stronger for you?
What other methods could you also use?
(Come up with as many as you possibly can)
4. If you are not certain if something will work or not, pick a time and place that is safe and appropriate to play and try it to find out how different it is for you.
For example, finding a new way to travel into work is great but you may want to experiment with the route on a day when you haven’t got a vital appointment first thing. You may also not want to see what happens if you literally drive through the lake rather than round it!
Lets imagine that Bob isn’t sure if he is running a team meeting the “right way.”
Answering each of the questions in turn he decides that the outcome he wants is improved communication. He wants to make sure that there is a system in place to ensure everyone knows the latest news, and also find solutions to possible problems.
His current team meetings do provide his team with the latest news but he finds that often the meetings end up being the team sharing problems and no solutions coming from the meeting – they come later.
Bob plays with several ideas and eventually finds that by providing an agenda so his team have already had some time before to start thinking of solutions.
Have a lovely week doing it your way
Love
Jen
This was originally posted on www.YourChangingDirection.com
“Without discipline, there’s no life at all.”
(Katherine Hepburn)
“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.”
(Sir John Lubbock)