Monthly Archives: June 2011


Why did I start Coaching Confidence, the coaching blog? 1

You may have noticed that in the top right section of the screen is this logo:

Please Vote for us

You may also have deduced that Coaching Confidence, the coaching blog, is entered in the Best Coaching Blogs 2011 competition. Obviously I’d love if you would spare a few moments to vote for us.

I’d thought I’d spend a few moments sharing why I started this blog. The final “push” was when I read an “advanced” coaching article that advised coaches to interact with their coaching client during the actual coaching session.

At first I was convinced that there was a typo somewhere and what I was literally reading was not actually the authors meaning. However, it was repeated several times and I could spot no other interpretation so had to come to the conclusion that this had to be the actual “advanced” message.

I cannot begin to imagine how anyone can coach without interacting with a client. In my mind, even non-verbal communication, such as nods, raised eyebrows etc are interactions. It certainly isn’t what I class as a piece of advice for advanced coaching.

Having got on my soap box to a friend and colleague about how much better quality information could be given than interact with your client I realised I was “preaching to the converted”.

One of the possible explanations I’d looked for in that post was if the author had been advising about increasing interaction in general. Whilst I’d found no evidence that was the intended meaning, I did think it sounded a fun approach. As I am so passionate about supporting and nurturing coaching skills and talents creating my own coaching blog would be one ideal way to do this.

I was also keen to have a regular guest post feature. For three reasons:

  1. I believe that having an exposure to different approaches, opinions and techniques give coaches a greater flexibility when they coach. Something that, in my mind, helps you to be a stronger coach so you can adapt to the individual in front of you.
  2. I don’t expect that my approach to coaching will be every other coaches approach – yet I still wanted to provide a space where all coaching styles could get an opportunity to share. I want to credit my audience with the intelligence but also have the responsibility for deciding which ones appeal to them.
  3. I wanted to provide an opportunity to support the guest posters by providing a space to connect with a new audience.

I know that my work is about supporting, nurturing and encouraging coaching skills and talents for all levels of coaching. It’s what I love doing. It’s also what I check if a particular post has the potential to do when I sit down to blog.

Technically it could be classed as part of a marketing strategy; however, I did not wake up one morning and think, “I know, I’d love to start a marketing strategy!” I did come to the realisation I enjoy writing for this blog – I enjoy this form of interaction.

I have never claimed to be a marketing expert yet the one piece of “marketing advice” I give to coaches when I’m asked is to find strategy(s) that you enjoy doing – rather than ones you hate. You are far more likely to do something that you enjoy more than something you hate. The best conceived marketing strategy and knowledge in the world is not going to create clients if you don’t put it into action!

You’ll notice if you click through to the best coaching blogs 2011 nominations that there are other coaching blogs there. If you enjoy this blog I’d love you to vote for us. If you have the time, why not have a look at the links to the other blogs at the same time. You never know when that right comment may just give you the nudge to take that next step!

After all, who knows if and when I’d have started this blog if I hadn’t read about interacting in a coaching session!

Click here to vote for us in the Best Coaching Blogs 2011.


Is what you are doing working? 4

“However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.”

(Winston Churchill)

A couple of years ago I got an opportunity to play on a “rope works” course – a series of climbing and rope activities. What was interesting to note was that when at ground level people would walk across a beam without blinking – put the same size beam up a couple of storeys and it became much more of a challenge to cross.

If you’ve recently seen the UK ITV Saturday evening show “The Cube” you’ve probably seen the same idea at work. Games that sound so simple, when played in “the cube” with an audience and increasing amounts of money at risk contestants report that it suddenly appears much harder.

The actually task has not altered it’s the way that we perceive the situation. Perhaps you’ve had your own version happen – maybe at school you could answer questions easily in a “normal” context but within an exam situation any knowledge you used to have appeared to have vanished.

Maybe you’ll happily pitch an idea to complete strangers but the prospect of doing that to friends and colleagues is horrendous. Or you’re the life and sole of the party with one group of friends but at a works social setting you find that you are sat in a corner not saying a word.

Perhaps you’ll happily talk to a group about something that you love but the prospect of making small talk in a social situation leaves you cold.

Sometimes what makes the difference is taking what you already know in one situation and using it in a different one. This applies not only to the same activity (ie crossing a beam) in a different situation (i.e. ground level and up in the air) but also for using strategies that work in one context and applying them to another to see the difference that makes.

For example, maybe you are excellent at easily preparing a meal so that it’s all ready at the same time – perhaps you could use the same “know how” if you are suddenly asked to manage a project at work.

Or perhaps you can use the same methods you use to easily create a peace of artwork to create ideas to generate income.

Often we can get bogged down and stuck with a situation or scenario because of the idea that there is a “right way” that we “should” do something. If the “should” works that’s great – if it doesn’t work for you it seems pointless not to try another method to get the result you are aiming for.

This week I invite you to play with the following to use strategies and methods that already work for you and apply them to a new situation:

1. Divide a piece of paper into two columns.

2. Pick something that you already easily do well and write that at the top of your first column.

3. Pick a situation that you would like to make easier and write that at the top of the second column.

4. In the first column note down the following in relation to the thing that you easily do well:

What is your physiology and your breathing like when you do this?

What do you want to achieve and how do you know when you get there?

What preparation (if any) do you do?

What action do you take?

If things aren’t going smoothly what do you do to get back on track?

5. Now answer the same questions in the second column in relation to the thing that you’d like to do more easily:

What is your physiology and your breathing like when you do this?

What do you want to achieve and how do you know when you get there?

What preparation (if any) do you do?

What action do you take?

If things aren’t going smoothly what do you do to get back on track?

For example:

Recently I was writing an article and had got “stuck”, staring at a blank screen. Knowing that this particular method wasn’t getting me very far other than being mildly frustrated I decided to do something different and played with this exercise.

Having just easily written the contents of a training package I picked that for my first column and answered as follows:

What is your physiology and your breathing like when you do this?

Shoulders relaxed, sat upright, feet flat on the ground, feeling centred and balanced with slow and relaxed breathing.

What do you want to achieve and how do you know when you get there?

I’ll have already defined what my objective is and know how I can measure that it has been achieved – i.e. to give participants methods to increase their confidence and take their life to the next level.

What preparation (if any) do you do?

I start by using pencil and paper to mind-map all my ideas and see how they all fit together. I also ensure that the environment is comfortable and conducive to working.

What action do you take?

Before starting to type anything I will have a plan laid out on paper and only then flush that out in type followed by an editing phrase.

If things aren’t going smoothly what do you do to get back on track?

If things aren’t going smoothly I’ll refer back to what I want to achieve and try another way to get there. I’ll possibly even discuss the content with someone else to clarify my ideas.

In my second column I had:

What is your physiology and your breathing like when you do this?

Sat slouched, ankles crossed, breathing shallower than normal,

What do you want to achieve and how do you know when you get there?

All I had defined for what I wanted to achieve was a finished article with no real thought about any more depth than that.

What preparation (if any) do you do?

I’d switched on the computer!

What action do you take?

Typed some sentences and attempted to edit as I went along so that I was deleting far more than was actually going into the article.

If things aren’t going smoothly what do you do to get back on track?

Sit and stare at the blank screen hoping for inspiration!

A quick glance reminded me firstly that if I changed my physiology I’d automatically feel better. It also allowed me to follow the same steps I take when writing a training package – as soon as I had got really clear on my outcome I was off and writing again.

Have a play and see what answers come up for you. You may want to then choose to do the things that work for you in one context in another and see the difference that makes.

Have a week full of stuff that works that you already know 🙂

Love

Jen

This was originally posted on www.YourChangingDirection.com


Become A Confident Coach 2

In this week’s guest post, Karen Williams shares her thoughts and expertise about becoming a confident coach.

Become A Confident Coach

By Karen Williams

As an experienced coach, mentor and the author of The Secrets of Successful Coaches, I often work with new coaches who struggle to have the confidence to become known and get clients.

They may believe they lack the confidence to coach. They may be scared of their abilities or lack of experience, worried they will get stuck or are not yet ready to tell people what they actually do.

I had a session with a new coach a few weeks ago and one thing she said to me was that she was expecting an inquisition and it didn’t come. We were just having a conversation – although, a constructive one at that. You don’t have to be formulaic, following the GROW model (although the principles are great), you just need to be or do what your client wants at that particular time.

When I interviewed Hannah McNamara for The Secrets of Successful Coaches, she said to me:

“It’s actually got nothing to do with you and your abilities; it’s what that client needs at that given time. Sometimes they need to be coached, sometimes they need to be taught, and sometimes they just need to offload. And they don’t want someone saying, ‘So what are you going to do about it?’ They just want to hear ‘Oh God, that sounds awful.’”

I love this philosophy. It is not about enforcing our thoughts or ideals onto our clients but being there for them. But on the other hand, I also advocate that sometimes we need to be tough too. If a client wants to achieve an objective but is putting up barriers in the way or is not doing what they say they will do, we have the right to challenge them supportively, to help them to achieve it or to check that this really is their goal.

When I talked to Michael Neill about running a coaching business, this was his advice:

“Be an amazing coach. It starts with your ability to make a difference. If you can’t do that very well, work on your coaching, not on your business. One problem is that a lot of coaches don’t get that coaching is a business, but there are also a number of coaches who don’t seem to get that effective coaching is at the heart of the business. They put all their energy into marketing and getting a website, building their newsletter, raising their profile, but they are not very good coaches yet. First, learn how to change lives – then you can figure out the marketing.”

Very pertinent, I’m sure you will agree. Many coaches, when they qualify, will concentrate on the business skills; but they need to become great coaches too.

So if you want to become a confident coach, here are my six top tips:

1. Learn how to be a great coach

This is more than getting a coaching qualification. Get practice in asking questions, listening to others and building rapport. This can be in a coaching situation with a client, or it can be just in day to day conversations with other people.

2. Get experience

When I qualified, I didn’t have a clue how to market myself as a business. So to become a great coach, I asked in a forum whether anyone wanted pro bono coaching and got 2 clients this way. This gave me the opportunity to further my experience and as one of these became a paying client, this kick-started my business too.

3. Develop your toolkit

You don’t have to attend all the different types of training available, but having a toolkit of resources will help you and your clients greatly. This starts from you and your own skills, and you can build on these with the knowledge you have, the information you can share and the resources you have at your finger tips.

4. Don’t be afraid to get it wrong

Sometimes you just need to put yourself out there and go for it. And don’t worry if you think that you will get something wrong. To be honest, your client won’t know what you were going to say and if you mess up, they probably won’t notice. And if they do, what is the worst that can happen? Learn from it, get it out of your system, and then move on.

5. Contract with your clients

One piece of advice that I give my mentoring clients is the importance of contracting with your client in the first place. Get their permission and find out how they want you to bring them back on track, whether they want you to make suggestions and explore your mutual expectations too.

6. Just do it!

Whether you want to visualise a great coaching session, use affirmations, act ‘as-if’ you are a confident coach, or just get on with it, this is the next step.

Here’s to being a confident coach!

About the Author/Further Resources

Karen Williams is a qualified coach and NLP Master Practitioner. She has been running Self Discovery Coaching since 2006, specialising in helping career changers and those facing redundancy to find a job they will love. She also works with new coaches to enable them to create a successful business and turn their passion into profit.

She is the author of The Secrets of Successful Coaches, which is based on spending time with 11 inspirational performance coaches and sharing their strategies for success. Her book was published by Matador this spring and is available on Amazon or via her website www.thesecretsofsuccessfulcoaches.com.

Karen has also created a great toolkit for coaches with the Self Discovery Success Club to enable them to have the best techniques for both themselves and their clients. You can get a month’s free membership when you buy a copy of her book.