Monthly Archives: November 2010

Will Power 1

 in General life improvement

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.”
(Anatole France)

I was asked recently for general ways to increase your will power. Here are some of the things I shared for those looking to increase their will power.

As always you are the expert on you, so if you have a way that works for you then do keep doing that. If what you are doing isn’t working here are a few things you may want to consider.

Firstly, do you genuinely actually want the end result, or is this something you “should” do or someone else wants? I’ve found people find it a lot easier if its something they really want. You may want to keep a reminder of what it is that you are working towards.

For example, I was chatting to a friend not that long ago who was feeling overwhelmed with a book they were writing and had come to a complete standstill. They were complaining that they just didn’t have any will power to get it done.

I suspected before we even carried on with the conversation that will power wasn’t the problem. They had just lost sight of why they were writing it. I got an email the next day asking what I had done as they had woken up all inspired and had started writing no problem – they’d got back in touch with why they were writing.

People also are far more likely to do more of anything if they are enjoying what they are doing. Find ways of making what you want more fun to work towards.

I don’t know about you but when I think of anything that I expect to need more will power, I’m already expecting it to be hard work and difficult. How can you make this easier?

For example, if you want to do more exercise and can’t face the gym, what make it easier for you? How about finding a gym buddy, taking up dancing or walking the dog an extra time a day?

Get started by just taking one action. After that all you have to do is the very next action.

When I work with people over a longer time span, one of the things I build into the structure of the package is regular seasons. The accountability aspect really helps people keep the momentum going. Sharing the commitment with somebody else, be it a family member, friend, coach, trainer or someone else can be a big incentive to keep going.

Have a lovely week

Love

Jen

This was originally posted on www.YourChangingDirection.com

5 Ways to Make your Coaching Business Successful 3

 in Guest Post  tagged brand / business / business coach / business coaching / charging / cheerleaders / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / marketing / mentors / money / Nicky Kriel / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / success / successful business

So you’re considering turning coaching into a business? Perhaps you’ve already taken that step. In this weeks guest post. Nicky Kriel shares tips of how to run a successful coaching business.

5 Ways to Make your Coaching Business Successful

by Nicky Kriel

You are a coach. You have found something that you absolutely love doing, haven’t you? Don’t you love those light bulb moments when you see your client’s face light up? You love helping people to get to where they want to be. You love the feeling of making a difference in someone’s life. You have a real passion for what you do and you feel that you have found your calling in life.

So everything is rainbows and kittens, isn’t it?

The reality is a little bit different isn’t it? You have spent a substantial amount of money and time on your training, you have had very positive feedback from people you have coached; people should be lining up for you, shouldn’t they? So where are they?

There are a few coaches who become very successful and make a good living from coaching, but there are substantially more who find themselves taking a job to make ends meet. There is plenty of advice out there for coaches to deal with their clients. There is advice on how to get rapport easily, what questions to ask and techniques to use. There is very little advice about setting up your coaching practice as profitable business. The best advice for work is find something you love doing and then get someone to pay you to do it, but if you are not earning a living from what you love doing; it is a hobby, not a business!

1. Resolve any issues you have about money

So many coaches I know have an issue about charging money for something that they love doing. They undervalue their service or feel guilty about accepting payment. As a coach, you probably know quite a lot of coaches. Who would be a good person to help you clear out issues you have about money? How can you stop limiting yourself? What are your issues you have with money? Are you self-sabotaging? It is easier asking someone to help you with an issue than trying to resolve it all by yourself. Just because you can coach someone through their money issues doesn’t mean that you can do it on yourself.

2. Start thinking about coaching as a business

If you are working for yourself, you need to learn how to be a good marketer, sales person, public relations person, bookkeeper, accountant, administrator and IT specialist. What skills do you already have in these areas? Who can help you develop these skills?

I found the best way for me to become more business orientated was to network with business people. I have learnt so much by the questions people asked me, especially the ones that completely stumped me. You don’t have to know everything to get started, but you must be willing to keep learning and keep improving as you go along. When you network, you will find plenty of people who will give you free advice and help.

Read books about business. One book that I would recommend is Dee Blick’s “Powerful Marketing on a Shoestring Budget “ which has good practical advice for small business. There are many good books available. What skills do you still need learn? Are there people who could help you in these areas?

3. Think of your business as an object

If you are your business, it is sometimes hard to think of your business objectively. I had an “Aha!” moment, when a business adviser asked me how I was marketing my business. I was getting quite defensive about it. Knowing that I came from a marketing background, he asked if I had a tin of baked beans, how would you market it? I knew instantly! I realised that I had to start thinking of myself as a tin of baked beans! Not literally, of course! I had to think of myself as a product or an object.

What is your brand? Can an outside person tell what you are offering or is it all in your head? Find someone neutral (not family or close friends) who can give you an objective viewpoint on how you are coming across at the moment. Are you coming across the way you think you are?

4. Resource yourself

As a coach, we are used to asking our clients what resources they need to help them get to where they want to be. So, what resources do you need to make your coaching business successful? Here are some of the ways that I think you might need to support yourself.

Mentors – People who are already where you want to be and are willing to guide you along the way, they could be fellow coaches or successful business people. They are the people who have been there, done that and got the bruises along the way.

Coaches – All coaches need coaches. Nobody is perfect, if you believe in coaching you should be developing yourself through coaching as well. Who is helping you to get to where you want to be?

Cheerleaders – You need people who are on your side, who are cheering you on and keeping you motivated, especially at times when you feel disappointed or frustrated.

People who can help you in your business – Do you need to do everything yourself? Are there people who can save you time by doing tasks that you don’t know how to do or don’t like doing? The most precious commodity you have as a business person is your time. Could you be spending more time doing tasks that generate money, by paying people to help you?

5. Think from your client/customers viewpoint

What ratio of “you” to “I” words are you using when you talk to someone? If you have a website or a blog, what is the number of “I”, “me”, “my”, “our” and “us” vs. “you” and “your” that you are using? It is a quick indicator of whether you are focussed on things from your viewpoint or your customer’s viewpoint. When you meet someone find out what their needs and wants are before selling yourself. Offering your toolbox of skills is meaningless to a potential client, they are interested in how their needs can be met.

If you really want to be a coach, you need to make coaching work for you as a business. So what are the changes that will make a difference?

About the Author/Further Resources

Nicky Kriel came from a Marketing and Sales background before she retrained as a Master NLP Practitioner. As a Communication Coach, her passion is empowering people to reach their true potential. Aside from her private coaching clients, she runs personal development and social media courses for business owners. www.nickykriel.com

To read a second guest post by Nicky Kriel, “The perks and pitfalls of social media for coaches” click here.

Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day

 in General life improvement

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken”
(Oscar Wilde)

November 24th is celebrate your unique talent day. So it seems like it is an appropriate time to share with you some thoughts about uniqueness and talent.

It’s not at all uncommon to loose track, or even not acknowledge, the gifts that you have naturally, by focusing on comparisons to others or to a perfect you. The artist Henri Matisse said, “It has bothered me all my life that I do not paint like everybody else.” Even though that was Maitisse’s comments, others said he was actually the most important French painter and artist of the 20th Century.

Sure you’ll have similarities with others, you may even have things about you that are identical to someone else (particularly if you are an identical twin 😉 ) but we are not all exactly the same.

Logically, you already know that – it’s why many people like to try items of clothing and footwear on first before buying so that you know that it fits and suits you. If we were all identical you wouldn’t need to do that – it’d bring a whole new meaning to “one size fits all”.

Talent, abilities, knowledge, gifts, passion and everything else makes you what you are – unique, even if you don’t yet acknowledge that for yourself.

The dictionary definition of unique gives the following:
“Unique (yoo-neek) adjective: 1. being the only one of its kind.
2. unusual and remarkable.”

Sometimes people are happier to consider themselves as unique as described by the first point, yet the use of the word remarkable doesn’t sit as comfortable with them and feels strange and different. If this is something that applies to you, how often have you considered the fact that you really could be remarkable? I’d hazard a guess that your answer, is not going to be that high, which will explain why it feels different and strange.

Just for today I invite you to appreciate your own uniqueness. (You can then make a choice at the end of today if you want to play again tomorrow 😉 ) If this is something you haven’t done before then be gentle with yourself and let this be a possibility as you play with the following:

Make a note on a piece of paper your answers to the following – there are no right or wrong answers, just the ones that are relevant to you.

1. What are your gifts? What seems really easy to you so that you dismiss comments such as “I wish I could do that” as people being nice and/or polite?

2. What are you passionate about? – Those things that time just flies by when you do them.

3. If you were asked what your “claim to fame” is what would you answer?

4. What is it that if you shared with others they’d look at you in amazement?

5. Imagine someone is going to make a film celebrating you. The actor who is playing you wants to spend time with you to fully understand what makes you so unusual and remarkable. You find that it’s really easy to get on with this actor so that it seems natural when they shadow you as you go about your normal day.

Once the actor has seen and heard everything they need, what is it that they would say that makes you remarkable. Imagine a conversation with the actor as they tell you what they have observed that will really help them with the role.

What is it that you could add to them to help them get into character?

Make a note of your answers

6. What do you think others would say are your unique talents (if there’s someone who’s opinion you trust you could even ask them in reality)

7. Read back over your answers and pay attention to what you have written. Allow yourself to accept your own remarkableness.
How and where can you use this newly recognised talent?
As always,I love to here your unique experience with playing with this.

Enjoy Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day and have a lovely unique week

Love

Jen

This post was originally published on www.YourChangingDirection.com

What would you see as the credits roll …? 4

 in Guest Post  tagged business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / Colin Clerkin / EMDR / executive coach / Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing / Future Movie / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / Mirror Coaching / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / story telling

In this weeks Friday guest post Dr Colin Clerkin shares a technique he likes to use and invites you to add your comments.

What would you see as the credits roll …?

by Dr Colin Clerkin

Reading recent posts on the Coaching Confidence blog, including Jen’s post “Once Upon a Time” and Frederique Murphy’s similarly-titled “Once Upon a Time …!” , I was prompted to think about the power of story telling within coaching and how, when you can help a client create their own story of how they want their life to be, you are creating a powerful vision that then allows you and your client to make the changes that are needed to enable them to begin to bring this story to life.

We all know of the importance of creating a strong vision with our clients, and I am sure we all have various techniques we use to achieve this. I thought today I would share with you one method I like to use, especially with young people or with clients who are perhaps struggling to identify their ultimate goals for coaching. I’d welcome your thoughts or comments on it, as I am constantly looking at how I can tweak my practice to make it even better.

The “Future Movie” concept is one I learned many moons ago within my therapy practice when I attended a workshop with Dr Ricky Greenwald, a child trauma expert and EMDR practitioner from New York. It was presented as a therapeutic technique and I used it often when I worked with children and families with problems. Although I’ve altered it a little over time to suit my coaching clientele, the basic elements remain. Using some EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) techniques can enhance the power of the vision, but they are not a necessity for it still to be effective.

As I am teasing out with clients their goals and what they want to achieve through coaching, I find that some clients struggle to imagine how things might be different in the future – they have ideas of what they want to change, perhaps, but they find it difficult to connect with how their world might be different if they make those changes. The possibility of change appeals but they may find it hard to believe that they can make changes that will have any significant impact on their world.

After discussing the power they have within them to make a difference to their lives, I then sometimes introduce them to their “Future Movie”. I ask them to let their imagination flow as they listen to what I outline next, perhaps picturing what I describe projected onto the wall in front of them and then I begin to tell them a story that goes like this: “Ten years from today (or five or whatever time frame you feel is relevant to your client), I arrive home after a long day, just wanting to sit and unwind for a bit, so I grab something to eat and settle down to watch a movie. I turn to the TV listings and see that “The (Client’s Name) Story” is just about to start. I think to myself, “Hey, I knew them X years ago … I wonder how their story has developed since then?” The movie starts and I become totally absorbed in this movie, feeling all the ups and downs and cheering the hero on as they soar to achieve all they aspire to. As the credits roll, I think to myself “Wow, they really did it … they told me all those years ago that this is what they wanted, and now there it is … what an inspiring movie!”

I then ask the client to describe to me what they are seeing on the “screen” as the credits are rolling on this movie, to describe the final image, in as much detail as they can, tapping into the brightness and colour, what they feel inside, who else is there with them, describing in detail what this scene means to them as it relates to their success, what their thoughts are as they experience this positive outcome, and, most especially, what they are saying to themselves at that point in time.

I will delve deeper into these points with the client, as getting as clear a vision that connects to the successful culmination of this phase of their story is important. Clients need to be able to emotionally connect with this vision and flesh out what it is their aspirations and goal-setting can ultimately achieve. When they have been able to do this, it is much easier for them to identify the interim goals that they need to set and work towards that will take them closer to their ultimate vision of their future. Without this clear vision, I find that some clients, especially my younger clients, do struggle to identify those critical steps that they need to take within their goal-setting practice to move forward with purpose and energy.

I believe that a goal without a thought-through end-result is little more than a vague “wouldn’t it be nice if …” wish-list, so this technique helps clients focus and be clear about what their goals are and why they are important to them. As I’ve said, it can be particularly effective with young clients (I work with adolescents and adults in my practice), but it is a tool that can be useful whatever your client’s age or background, whether they are personal development coaching clients wanting to look at their personal lives or business coaching clients, trying to visualise how their business or careers can develop going forward.

And it is another example of the power of story-telling in coaching; only this time, you help your client put themselves smack bang in the starring role!

About the Author/Further Resources

Colin HeadshotDr Colin Clerkin is a psychologist and coach based in Chester, in the North West of England. Colin has been involved in helping people tackle challenges in their lives for almost 20 years, initially as a clinical psychologist and, over the past three years, as a personal development coach too. He launched Mirror Coaching earlier this year, and provides face-to-face or Skype-based coaching to parents, individuals and small business owners. After his own experiences with cancer in recent years, he has also been inspired to coach cancer survivors as they look to adjust to life after cancer.

Stressful Tuesday?

 in General life improvement

“A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. ”

(Aesop Fables)

I’ve just read an article that claimed that 11.45am on a Tuesday is the most stressful time of the week.

While I may not be posting this on a Tuesday I thought it would be appropriate to share a really useful stress relieving technique for use next week (or if, like me, you have a lovely Tuesday then any other time where it’d be useful)

I know that sometimes you may feel so busy that you may think you haven’t got time to take a few moments for yourself. I would suggest that its those times when you would benefit the most from doing that. Apart from anything else most people work better when they are not highly stressed, so it actually is more productive.

The beauty of this particular technique is that you don’t need any “props”. It just uses your breath.

I invite you to play with the following,

1. Take a slow deep breath in and out as you count one in your head,

2. Take another slow deep breath in and out and count two in your head

3. Repeat counting three in your head, then four in your head etc until you reach ten.

If at any stage you loose count, that’s fine just return to step one. This slows down your breath and as well as being relaxing it calms down the chatter inside your head.

There is little point cheating by counting on your fingers or on paper as then you won’t experience the full benefit.

Have a lovely week

Love

Jen

This was originally posted on www.YourChangingDirection.com

Biographies for coaches

 in Guest Post  tagged biographies / business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / Terri Carey / TLC Services / virtual assistant / website

In this weeks Friday guest post Terri Carey, Virtual Assistant to the World’s Finest Coaches, shares her views on creating your own biography.

Biographies for coaches

by Terri Carey

(excerpted from Start your site right)

Let’s face it…business is all about relationships. How you write your bio for your website will tell the customer a lot about you and ultimately may decide whether or not they connect with you. I believe it’s important to include some personal details. I can’t tell you how many times a potential client has told me that they felt a kinship because of my personal information or photographs on my website.

The style of a biography can be as different as the individual they are about. However, there are a few things that can really make it stand out. First, be conscious of how it is written. You can write it in the first person, which is a much more personal way to connect with your customer. If you are looking for a more corporate image, your bio can be written in the third person, as if you were writing about an honored peer. Either way, your biography should convey your credentials, accomplishments and highlights of your background.

If you’re completely at a loss for how to write your bio, you can find templates for a variety of industries and professions at www.howtowritebio.com. Here’s a sample from that site:

Consider what is being written. Include any past accomplishments that highlight your relevant abilities. Much like your resume, your bio should be tailored to your business. Education should be acknowledged, but not exhaustively. People want to know that you’re qualified for the job, not whether you took Calculus III. Sharing volunteer work, the fact that you donate regularly to specific charities and what organizations you belong to, show potential clients that you are socially aware and have an honorable work ethic. Don’t be long-winded. Keep it to just a few paragraphs or a maximum of one page in length.

How much personal information you include in your bio is up to you. This is where people will begin to find the real you – whether you are open and personable or straightforward and down-to-business. You might want to include personal insights about the business or your struggles and successes in coming so far. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. You want your bio to reflect both your personal and professional sides.

Remember why you are writing it. Customers who visit your site want to know the owner behind the website façade. They want to be assured that this is the product/service that will best fit their needs. Mention why the product or service you offer is so important to you personally and why you can do it better. Tell them why you think it will be great for them too.

A biography can be a powerful tool. For a business that provides service, keep in mind that you are basically selling yourself. Potential clients not only need to feel confident in your abilities, but also a personal connection with you. Including relevant life experiences provides a wonderful foundation in the minds of the reader, as if they already know you. When that client finally meets you or talks to you in person, it will be a continuation of that relationship. They will be expecting to meet the person in the bio, so be yourself!

About the Author/Further Resources

President of TLC Services in Canandaigua, NY, Terri Carey has been servicing customers and businesses for over 20 years. Terri started TLC Services, when she saw a prevalence of stay at home parents, and other homebound workers who desired meaningful employment and contact with other professionals. She discovered that there were many other types of professionals who wanted to work from home for many other reasons including, convenience, cost, environmental concerns, disabilities, long commutes, and personal values. Here was a collection of people with skills just waiting to use them! Small Businesses have always had a special appeal to her. After having worked for a small business for over 10 years as an Office Manager, she wanted to do more. She entered the world of Virtual Assistants. She has provided services for Messenger Post Newspapers, St Mary’s Church, St Felix and St Francis Churches, SolutionBox, Donna Steinhorn, Michael Neill, Rich Litvin, and RCM Associates – among many others.

3 FREE exclusive video lessons

 in Resource / websites  tagged business coach / business coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching preparation / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / Free resource / influence / Judy Rees / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / persuasion / video

Judy Rees, one of our recent Friday guest posters, has just launched some videos that you need to check out now.

For the first time ever, she’s giving away secret keys to influence and persuasion that people have paid a lot of money for. I know she’s taking this offline soon, so check it out here

Trust Me, I’m a coach 1

 in Coaching  tagged behaviour / business coach / business coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching preparation / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / coaching welcome pack / executive coach / Free resource / George MacDonald / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / Stephen R Covey / trust

“It is a greater compliment to be trusted than to be loved.”

(George MacDonald)

The subject of trust was mentioned in a comment by Dave Doran to my recent post “How to ask hard questions.”  When trust exists in a coaching relationship I find that it makes a massive difference and I thought it deserved some more discussion.

Before I go any further with this it seems appropriate that I spend a moment talking about what trust actually is. After all it’s not as if we can nip own to the local supermarket and buy a tin of trust or “pick it up and put it in a wheelbarrow.”

Looking up the word trust in the dictionary it gives definitions for the use of the term as a noun and as a verb.

I often get the impression when coaches speak of trust they are talking about clients trusting them by being honest and open to new perspectives.

Are we as coaches passive in this particular aspect of the coaching relationship? Is it something that we just expect clients to do without our input?

As with many questions I ask on this site, I think if you have already got a style, system, methodology etc that works for you and your clients I wouldn’t dream of suggesting you “should” be doing something another way.

My personal response to the questions above is that I place my focus on demonstrating trustworthy behaviours, or as the dictionary would say being “worthy of trust and reliable.”

Notice I deliberately talk about demonstrating trustworthy behaviours rather than being trustworthy. That in itself is perhaps deserving of a post in its own right but for now I’ll just say that this helps to focus upon what you can do and away from getting caught up listening to any “I’m not worthy” thoughts.

“Just as trust comes from trustworthiness, trustworthiness comes from character and competence, the fruit is wisdom and judgement – the foundation of all great and lasting achievement and trust.”

(Stephen R Covey)

So for you what behaviours are connected with someone who is trustworthy?

For me, making and keeping promises, apologizing if something does go wrong and involving others when necessary are some aspects of being trustworthy.  Demonstrating these can be as simple as keeping appointment times when arranged or happily referring people to other products/individuals if they are a better fit than my own work.

What I don’t recall hearing discussed much is the trust, as a coach, you have in your client. Yet, for me, this is such a powerful aspect of how I coach.

So how much trust do you give your clients? Stephen R Covey says “Trust becomes a verb when you communicate to others their worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves.”

It’s one of the things I’m checking when I first chat with a potential client – can I place trust in the fact that this individual has the power within them to choose and to change. I don’t recall having a conversation when I’ve not been able to do that but if the day ever comes than I know that I’m not the best coach for that person.

I leave you with a final quote for now:

“Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is; treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.”

(Goethe)

What role does trust play in your coaching?

Do you do anything to encourage trust, or does it just happen naturally?

If you have any comments or thoughts you’d like to share feel free to add those below and click submit comment.