Monthly Archives: October 2010

What is the difference between the first and second coaching session?

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching content / coaching courses / coaching preparation / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / coaching welcome pack / executive coach / first coaching session / Free resource / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / second coaching session

This was a question that landed in my in box earlier this week so I thought I’d publish a general answer here.

I’ll premise my answer with each coach will develop their own style and system of working so if any of the following contradicts your approach then if it’s working for you and your clients then that is great. You’ll notice that this piece will present various options of how you may want to work with your clients. I invite you to consider what your preferences are.

My initial response was that a coaching conversation is a coaching conversation – I suggest you use all your skills and knowledge to the best of your current ability depending upon what the client in front of you is saying and doing at that moment. Then I thought some more.

Timing

Many coaches, including myself, allow extra time for the first coaching session. It’s a session that often allows you and your client to really focus upon where they are and what is getting in their way.

Personally I like to harness the motivation that a client has and kick start our work together. It also allows time to gently eliminate any remaining fears that they may have about our work together and what they imagine they will have to do to get to where they want.

Location

Some coaches and clients prefer that their first session is face to face and then provide follow up via the phone, other’s coaching service is offered via the same medium at all time or as they use the one that best suites a particular clients situation. If you are just starting out as a coach you could find the way that works best for you and your clients by experiencing all combinations.

Coaches Preparation

As a coach I personally think there is little difference in the preparation for a first and second session – with the possible exception of any review you like to do prior to the session. If you ask your client to do any preparation prior to the session it may be different for the first and second session. If you review notes you have previously taken again you will have the addition of the first sessions notes by session two.

Clients Preparation

Some coaches like to send a welcome pack to a client prior to the first session – for more information about what you can include in your welcome pack visit here. This may include sections that you ask the client to complete prior to your first session.

You may have different questions that you would like your clients to complete, or consider, prior to any subsequent sessions.

Content

Some coaches have their own program that they work with so that they know that on week 2 they will cover x with their client. I’m presuming if you are reading a post with a title of what is the difference between the first and second coaching session you are not such a coach. However, it would be remiss of me to ignore the fact that some coaches do work this way and have success with their clients.

Some coaches will also use the first session to discuss, maybe even complete, some form of initial questionnaire or “assessment.” It may be that it is a questionnaire designed specifically by that coach or an assessment that they are trained to use e.g. “Myres-Briggs”. It is not compulsory to include this and it will appeal to some clients more than others, just as some coaches will love to use them and others will find that it does not fit into their style of working.

I’ve heard some coaches mention that “each coaching session builds upon the last” and in a sense it can. As you work together you will begin to be more aware of a clients previous achievements and their progress towards a given goal. You may also find that, as your client trusts you more that they are quicker at sharing what is going on for them. Sometimes you may find that what the client wants to address in this season is a direct follow on from last weeks session.

However, my belief is that coaching is not just about the time that I spend with a client on the phone or in front of me in a face – to – face session. I believe that coaching extends beyond that time and into the rest of my clients life. After all isn’t that why many of us invite clients to commit to some form of homework/action etc before our next session?

Where a client finishes one session is not necessarily the same place that they start the next one. The thing I encourage you to be aware of is that your client can change their beliefs etc outside as well as within the coaching session. This may be as a direct result of the “homework” that has been agreed upon, from a seed that was planted during the last session or something else entirely.

Something that seemed to be a big issue during one session may have melted away naturally by the next session. This means that there may be no need to build upon anything from a previous session as the client may have decided to start on something new.

What else is different between a first and second coaching session? If there is something that you think I’ve missed then feel free to add your own thoughts in the section below and click submit.

What Gets Measured Gets Done!

 in General life improvement

I was being told a story the other day about some advice a now retired gentleman had been given before starting his first job. When working with statistics, the advice stated, the very first thing to do is ask your boss what they want to prove.

When working in the corporate world, and particularly with sales, it was second nature to not only have targets but also a measurement of what was classed as important to that business.

To borrow an advertising slogan, you’ve got to be in it to win it. One of the ways that people can stay stuck in a situation is that they stop (or don’t start) taking action.

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Marketing for Coaches

 in Guest Post  tagged business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / marketing / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / Sharp Marketing Consultancy / Sue Sharp

One of the aspects that is not always covered in coaching training is how to market coaching. This week our guest poster specilises in marketing for start up businesses. Read the advice Sue Sharp gives to coaches looking to build their practice.

Marketing for Coaches

by Sue Sharp

OK – you may be a brilliant coach, I have no doubt that many of you are, but you are only ever going to get the business you deserve if you are also a pretty good marketer, or at least you are prepared to take some good advice from the right places.

As a marketing consultant, working with small to medium sized businesses I have helped a lot of self employed service providers over the years, some of them coaches. I believe there are some core approaches which will help you stand out from the crowd.

Make yourself an expert.

Remember if you are a self employed coach, you are the business. Don’t be afraid portray yourself as an expert; many of my clients are very coy about talking about themselves in glowing terms. Focus on your experience, you successes, your qualifications, articles you have written, presentation you have given – in short, anything which builds your profile and convinces your audience that you have what it takes. But do be concise – keep it to bullet points if you can – no-one wants to read an essay about your life, they just want to be impressed and reassured.

Create a branded product.

This can be very powerful if you get it right! There are lots of coaches out there, all offering more or less the same sort of thing – the service can come across as unfocused and differentiating between them is difficult. You need to make yourself unique.

Think about what you do well and treat it as a product. Give it a name which is unique to you (a brand) which reflects the benefits in some way. Then identify exactly what people will get for their money. Think about extra benefits you can throw in there too – these may well be things you are already doing, but not really promoting or telling people about.

Finally define what sort of people will benefit and what their end result will be.

Once you have created your product, promote it on your website and create concise leaflets about it. Now, whenever you meet people at networking events or people call your office to discuss your services, you have something very precise to discuss with them which they can’t buy elsewhere and the sale will become much easier.

Does it work?

When I first started promoting my marketing consultancy services at networking events many years ago, I found results were patchy, people didn’t really get what marketing consultancy would do for them and they were worried it would be expensive. Then I had a Eureka moment. I created the Sharp New Business Package – specially targeted at new businesses, telling them exactly what they would get and what it would cost. Suddenly my networking results improved immeasurably. Not only that, but other professionals understood my service so well they started selling them on my behalf and I was (almost) inundated with referrals. Have a look at how I did it and see if you can replicate this for yourself. Sharp New Business Plan

Good luck.

Sue Sharp

About the Author/Further Resources

Sue Sharp is founder and director of Sharp Marketing Consultancy based in Chorley, Lancashire.

Sue’s enjoyed a 20 year marketing career with a wealth of experience at marketing director level pioneering the strategic growth of some fantastic consumer brands.

In 2003 she founded the Sharp Marketing Consultancy to work with small and medium sized companies in the North West who require directional assistance with their marketing.

Having identified a gap in the market to provide really solid marketing advice to new businesses, Sue set up Sharp New Business in 2005. Sharp New Business provides cost affective advice and support to new and small businesses making sure their marketing really works for them.

Through Sharp New Business Sue has daily experience of improving the marketing of small businesses. She uses this experience to provide her own style of marketing training, illustrating much of her training with examples of how techniques have worked for real life businesses.

If you want to read more you can view Sue’s 10 essential tips for marketing a small business. www.sharpmarketingconsultancy.co.uk/marketing-tips-2

Let’s Talk About Context

A problem well stated is a problem half solved

Charles Kettering

I thought I’d talk about the importance of context when working with a client, which I have come to understand training as a Cognitive Hypnotherapist at The Quest Institute. One the things I do when I first see a client is a history take. I have noticed over time that often when client’s come back to see me after the history take, they have already begun to move forward with their issue, goal, problem etc.

I think the reason for this is clarity; once they understand specifically what the issue, goal or problem really is, their wisdom, mind or unconscious can set about solving it.

For me, a big part of getting clarity is in understanding the context surrounding what is stopping the client from having what they want. (Along with Structure, Process and Consequence, which I’ll save for another day)

What is Context?

Context is about when the client has their problem and why, which is normally connected to what they have interpreted about a past event.

I have always been fascinated that a lot of the events that shape our beliefs in adult life happened when we are children. This was also true client who I will call Bob (not his real name), Bob was literally gripped with fear about the prospect of giving a best man’s speech to friends and family who only wished him the best.

The reason for this was that during school he had reading difficulties, and he had been made to read in front of the class whereby he was laughed at by all the other kids.

Clearly this event actually happened but what this event has come to mean was made up when he was a child. I think it would be fair to say that getting laughed at by a bunch of kids would not have the same effect now as it did back then.

So when I’m finding out the context I’m not really interested the facts so to speak just what the event meant to the client. And I’ll use a combination of the following questions to get to the “why now?” to establish a pattern between the past and the present.

Do you always have this problem?

Are there times when it’s better or worse?

What is different about those times?

Have you always had this problem?

What was different before you had it?

What was happening in your life when this problem started?

What is happening in your life when you have this problem that is similar to when the problem began?

*If you’re not keen on the word problem, you can use barrier, issue or whatever else you would prefer.

Now I know finding out the ‘why’ is frowned upon in some coaching circles. This is not my experience, I have found when people really get that what they decided a past event meant about them as a person, was through the eyes of a child that on its own can begin to move them forward.

Context Mapping

Context Mapping is about finding the edge of the problem, at what point does it tip and what other contexts does it map across to. Are there other situations that make them feel the same way?

So if we go back to Bob, Bob would only start to get nervous if he had to talk in front of four people or more. At three people he was fine, but in front of four he would get a horrible feeling unless it was close friends and then he was ok again.

As hypnotherapist I was able to use key information to create a suggestion aimed at producing a type of trance phenomena known as negative hallucination, which is really just way of getting the client not to notice something. In the case of Bob not to notice how many people are in the room, by drawing his attention to their ‘friendly faces’.

And as you begin talking, you might be surprised at how calm and relaxed you’ve started to feel as you’re only aware of the friendly faces looking back at you.

Exception Mapping

Bob actually came to see me for “no confidence” as he put it, now I don’t think I have ever met anyone who experiences their problem all of the time.

So Exception Mapping is about discovering the exceptions, when they don’t experience their problem. This is useful because like Bob people will often gerneralise their problem. E.G. I’m not confident is actually I’m not confident talk in front 4 or more people.

The exceptions to the rule lets you know how big or small a problem is and understanding what is different about those times is another key piece of information that you can use.

Ok so next time you’re working with a client take some time to understand the context surrounding whatever you’re working on. If context is a key driver for their issue, it would make sense to use context interventions.

The interventions you can use will depend upon your background, I have found that techniques that get people to see a situation differently work particularly well. If you are familiar with NLP/hypnosis terminology then Meta Mirror, Coaching, Reframing, Metaphor and Timeline Reframing are just a few but there are many others.

How can a client prepare for a coaching session?

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching session / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / preparation for a coaching session

A few weeks ago I wrote about some of the ways that a coach can prepare for a coaching session. What has surprised me since then is the number of people finding the site by searching for how a client can prepare for coaching session.

I’m presuming that this search is being done by individuals who are either:

(i)                 A coach wondering how their clients should be preparing

or

(ii)                A client wanting to know what they should be doing.

So let’s look at this for both of those groups:

Coaches who are wondering how their clients should be preparing.

Firstly, I’m not convinced that is the most useful phrasing of that question. Rather than looking for the way that it “should” be done, how would you like your clients to be prepared? This is your work; find the way that works best for you and your clients.

Lay the foundations by setting the expectations right at the start of your coaching relationship and the chances are that it won’t be something that you will have to revisit again.

Things you may want to think about:

Eliminating Interruptions
Are you working with clients that feel they are pressed for time? You may want to consider including a request to ensure that they schedule the entire time of your session to be free from disruptions.

Physical surroundings, while not applicable if you select the location, it will help considerably if your client is not somewhere where there are distractions or they feel they can’t talk
openly. This is something that can apply equally to face to face and phone coaching.

If you are physically coaching face to face you can always provide a pen and paper for your client to make notes or as part of any exercises during the coaching session. However, if you are coaching via the phone you may wish to request that your client has something to write with and on available – this will save time during your actual session as they try and find a pen that actually wants to write etc 🙂

Questions you may want them to answer prior to your actual session
These are generally questions that provide an answer that allows time during the session to be spent on follow up. For example, “What do you want to get from today’s session?” If your client comes fully prepared which such answers it allows you to spend the coaching session focusing upon that “goal.”

Alternatively, you may like your client to answer a/some question(s) that focuses them in a specific direction. Typically these are questions that allow them to start paying attention to something they may otherwise miss acknowledging – for example, listing their accomplishments that week.

Depending upon how you like to work and the client you are working with you may want to ask your client to report on the progress of previous agreements.

Clients wanting to know what preparation they can do prior to a coaching session

If you are a coach reading this piece I encourage you to ensure that your clients are aware of what preparation you would like them to do. This will ensure that they are not distracted away from what you want them to be focusing upon prior to a coaching session.

Each coach will have their own unique approach to how they work, however, the following is some general guidance for a client about what preparation it may benefit you to do:

  • Remember that a coaching session is time just to focus upon you. It will be a lot easier to do this if you remove the opportunities for interruptions. Ensure that you have scheduled time where you will not be disturbed. If you are having a coaching session via the phone, select somewhere to take the call where you can fully focus and on a phone number where you can actually hear and in a location where you can talk freely.
  • Your coach may have provided you with some questions that they would like you to answer prior to any session.

If they haven’t, you may want to have given some thought about what you would like to get from this specific coaching session. While your coach will be able to assist you in determining that, if you already have an answer it frees up more of your coaching session to actually focus on finding that solution.

  • You could find it really useful to make sure you have a pen and paper handy in case you want to make a note during the session.

Do you think that there is some preparation that is not included and should be? Want to make a comment?

Fill in the leave a comment section below and then click submit.

Taking Time to Use What Works

 in General life improvement

I was taking a break from something I was writing the other day, when I caught a snippet of some sort of historical reality show. It involved the participants living in Victorian conditions and those taking part in the show were learning lots of new ways of doing things. One of the participants commented that the one thing that struck them most is how revolutionary they found the various resources we have in the modern day as they provide us with so much more time.

As I watched, I was reminded of the quote “Those that fail to learn from history, are doomed to repeat it.” (Churchill) So often people learn about history and not from it. Prior to my break from the writing I had been struggling to word a particular section. Recalling days gone by and the various time saving resources I already knew I realised that I wasn’t actually using what, for me, makes creating writing easier.

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Let’s Talk About Context 2

 in Guest Post  tagged business coach / business coaching / charging / client / clients / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / context / context mapping / exception mapping / executive coach / hypnotherapist / Hypnotherapy Southampton / leadership coaching / Lenny Deverill-West / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / nlp coach / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development

One of the reasons each Friday sees a guest post, here at Coaching Confidence, is to have a mix of different approaches, techniques and opinions shared.

This week, Lenny Deverill-West talks about context. We invite you to consider how you use, or could use, context in your work.

Let’s Talk About Context

by Lenny Deverill-West

“A problem well stated is a problem half solved”

(Charles Kettering)

I thought I’d talk about the importance of context when working with a client, which I have come to understand training as a Cognitive Hypnotherapist at The Quest Institute.  One the things I do when I first see a client is a history take.  I have noticed over time that often when client’s come back to see me after the history take, they have already begun to move forward with their issue, goal, problem etc.

I think the reason for this is clarity; once they understand specifically what the issue, goal or problem really is, their wisdom, mind or unconscious can set about solving it.

For me, a big part of getting clarity is in understanding the context surrounding what is stopping the client from having what they want.  (Along with Structure, Process and Consequence, which I’ll save for another day)

What is Context?

Context is about when the client has their problem and why, which is normally connected to what they have interpreted about a past event.

I have always been fascinated that a lot of the events that shape our beliefs in adult life happened when we are children.

This was also true of a former client who I will call Bob (not his real name), Bob was literally gripped with fear about the prospect of giving a best man’s speech to friends and family who only wished him the best.

The reason for this was that during school he had reading difficulties, and he had been made to read in front of the class whereby he was laughed at by all the other kids.

Clearly this event actually happened but what this event has come to mean was made up when he was a child.  I think it would be fair to say that getting laughed at by a bunch of kids would not have the same effect now as it did back then.

So when I’m finding out the context I’m not really interested the facts so to speak just what the event meant to the client.  And I’ll use a combination of the following questions to get to the “why now?” to establish a pattern between the past and the present.

Do you always have this problem?

Are there times when it’s better or worse?

What is different about those times?

Have you always had this problem?

What was different before you had it?

What was happening in your life when this problem started?

What is happening in your life when you have this problem that is similar to when the problem began?

*If you’re not keen on the word problem, you can use barrier, issue or whatever else you would prefer.

I know that exploring the ‘why’ is frowned upon in some coaching circles and with good reason. So the idea is not to dwell on why something happened, but just to discover the significant event connected to the client’s problem in order to reframe the meaning of it.

Context Mapping

Context Mapping is about finding the edge of the problem, at what point does it tip and what other contexts does it map across to.  Are there other situations that make them feel the same way?

So if we go back to Bob, Bob would only start to get nervous if he had to talk in front of four people or more.  At three people he was fine, but in front of four he would get a horrible feeling unless it was close friends and then he was ok again.

As hypnotherapist I was able to use key information to create a suggestion aimed at producing a type of trance phenomena known as negative hallucination, which is really just way of getting the client not to notice something.  In the case of Bob not to notice how many people are in the room, by drawing his attention to their ‘friendly faces’.

And as you begin talking, you might be surprised at how calm and relaxed you’ve started to feel as you’re only aware of the friendly faces looking back at you.

Exception Mapping

Bob actually came to see me for “no confidence” as he put it, now I don’t think I have ever met anyone who experiences their problem all of the time.

So Exception Mapping is about discovering the exceptions, when they don’t experience their problem.  This is useful because like Bob people will often gerneralise their problem.  E.G. I’m not confident is actually I’m not confident talk in front 4 or more people.

The exceptions to the rule let you know how big or small a problem is and understanding what is different about those times is another key piece of information that you can use.

Ok so next time you’re working with a client take some time to understand the context surrounding whatever you’re working on.  If context is a key driver for their issue, it would make sense to use context interventions.

The interventions you can use will depend upon your background, I have found that techniques that get people to see a situation differently work particularly well. If you are familiar with NLP/hypnosis terminology then Meta Mirror, Coaching, Reframing, Metaphor and Timeline Reframing are just a few but there are many others.

About the Author/Further Resources

Lenny Deverill-West is a Cognitive Hypnotherapist, NLP Practitioner, Coach and Corporate Trainer based in Southampton.

Lenny spends most his time seeing clients at his Southampton practice and is also developing trainings courses and Hypnotherapy products that are due out early next year. For more information about Lenny Deverill-West visit www.startlivingtoday.co.uk.


Let’s Talk About Context

A problem well stated is a problem half solved

Charles Kettering

I thought I’d talk about the importance of context when working with a client, which I have come to understand training as a Cognitive Hypnotherapist at The Quest Institute. One the things I do when I first see a client is a history take. I have noticed over time that often when client’s come back to see me after the history take, they have already begun to move forward with their issue, goal, problem etc.

I think the reason for this is clarity; once they understand specifically what the issue, goal or problem really is, their wisdom, mind or unconscious can set about solving it.

For me, a big part of getting clarity is in understanding the context surrounding what is stopping the client from having what they want. (Along with Structure, Process and Consequence, which I’ll save for another day)

What is Context?

Context is about when the client has their problem and why, which is normally connected to what they have interpreted about a past event.

I have always been fascinated that a lot of the events that shape our beliefs in adult life happened when we are children. This was also true client who I will call Bob (not his real name), Bob was literally gripped with fear about the prospect of giving a best man’s speech to friends and family who only wished him the best.

The reason for this was that during school he had reading difficulties, and he had been made to read in front of the class whereby he was laughed at by all the other kids.

Clearly this event actually happened but what this event has come to mean was made up when he was a child. I think it would be fair to say that getting laughed at by a bunch of kids would not have the same effect now as it did back then.

So when I’m finding out the context I’m not really interested the facts so to speak just what the event meant to the client. And I’ll use a combination of the following questions to get to the “why now?” to establish a pattern between the past and the present.

Do you always have this problem?

Are there times when it’s better or worse?

What is different about those times?

Have you always had this problem?

What was different before you had it?

What was happening in your life when this problem started?

What is happening in your life when you have this problem that is similar to when the problem began?

*If you’re not keen on the word problem, you can use barrier, issue or whatever else you would prefer.

Now I know finding out the ‘why’ is frowned upon in some coaching circles. This is not my experience, I have found when people really get that what they decided a past event meant about them as a person, was through the eyes of a child that on its own can begin to move them forward.

Context Mapping

Context Mapping is about finding the edge of the problem, at what point does it tip and what other contexts does it map across to. Are there other situations that make them feel the same way?

So if we go back to Bob, Bob would only start to get nervous if he had to talk in front of four people or more. At three people he was fine, but in front of four he would get a horrible feeling unless it was close friends and then he was ok again.

As hypnotherapist I was able to use key information to create a suggestion aimed at producing a type of trance phenomena known as negative hallucination, which is really just way of getting the client not to notice something. In the case of Bob not to notice how many people are in the room, by drawing his attention to their ‘friendly faces’.

And as you begin talking, you might be surprised at how calm and relaxed you’ve started to feel as you’re only aware of the friendly faces looking back at you.

Exception Mapping

Bob actually came to see me for “no confidence” as he put it, now I don’t think I have ever met anyone who experiences their problem all of the time.

So Exception Mapping is about discovering the exceptions, when they don’t experience their problem. This is useful because like Bob people will often gerneralise their problem. E.G. I’m not confident is actually I’m not confident talk in front 4 or more people.

The exceptions to the rule lets you know how big or small a problem is and understanding what is different about those times is another key piece of information that you can use.

Ok so next time you’re working with a client take some time to understand the context surrounding whatever you’re working on. If context is a key driver for their issue, it would make sense to use context interventions.

The interventions you can use will depend upon your background, I have found that techniques that get people to see a situation differently work particularly well. If you are familiar with NLP/hypnosis terminology then Meta Mirror, Coaching, Reframing, Metaphor and Timeline Reframing are just a few but there are many others.