Monthly Archives: August 2010

Coaching Beliefs 6

 in Coaching  tagged beliefs / business coach / business coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / limiting beliefs / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development

If you’ve done any kind of reading around the topic of coaching, or even attending a training or two you’ve probably come across the mention of beliefs.

If you have already done some work with clients, or observed another coach at work you’ve probably experienced first hand how someone’s beliefs can influence the experience of a situation and their behaviour.

It’s not just your client’s beliefs that can affect the direction that a coaching session takes – your beliefs about coaching can also have an effect. This is not necessarily a bad thing but knowing what these are will let you utilise these to strengthen your work as a coach.

It will also aid you to set your potential clients expectations of what working with you is like and potentially help you in choosing the clients you want to work with and those you want to refer elsewhere.

Some of the beliefs you have may have been ones that you got from the training you have attended. You may have attended a coach training that left you with a belief that to be a coach you never give advice. Perhaps there is a different belief that you were taught – maybe something about the correct way to market yourself etc.

This isn’t a piece about how beliefs are formed or how to change limiting beliefs. This is an invitation for anyone who coaches to become aware (using whatever method, techniques or questions they want) to the beliefs that you have about coaching and what it means to be a coach.

From there you can choose to play with any beliefs you have, if they are working the way you’d like and decide if you want to keep them – or not.

One of the beliefs that I have is that the more exposure to different approaches, attitudes and techniques, the more flexibility a coach has when working with a client. For me, that’s a useful belief. I believe that the flexibility means I can tailor-make the work I do specifically to the individual and offer a bespoke service. It also has the extra benefit that I meet and connect with some fascinating people.

That belief in the importance of a range of opinions etc is also why I’m inviting a different guest author to post on a Friday. If you are interested in becoming a guest author please contact me. Perhaps you want to share what some of your beliefs are, or to cover something entirely different you think would be of interest to coaches/ those interested in coaching.

False Eyelashes and Confidence

 in confidence / General life improvement

I love completely random facts, there doesn’t have to be any obvious practical application for the information I’ve found/been given to provoke me to give a genuine “Really? That’s interesting” response.

One of my favourite completely random pieces of information is that false eyelashes were invented in 1916 by a silent movie director who wanted to make his female stars eyes look bigger on screen. I came across this information years ago at a time when I still worked in the pub and hospitality industry, I never dreamed that it would come in useful, I just thought it was interesting. However, a few weeks after I learnt this fact I was called upon to quickly come up with a tie-breaker question for a busy quiz night that gave all teams an equal chance.

I love learning new stuff, I can’t help it – I am naturally curious. It’s one of the things that got me to where I am today, I found something that interested me and I just got curious to find out more. Just like with the randomness of the false eyelashes, the opportunities that can arise to use the skills/ information etc that can be developed from being curious may not always be obvious before hand.

It was this curiosity over the weekend that led to me being at an event that was in effect eavesdropping on a rehearsal between the actor Patrick Stewart and the successful director, John Barton. They introduced the event by saying that they were going to play with the text and experiment with different ways of using it – they too were getting curious, with some incredible results.

There are lots of hidden benefits to this curiosity about stuff you find interesting. For me, it’s also the easy way of doing things. When I’m curious and interested about any topic then I’ll happily read, watch, listen or take action to find out what happens next and generally want to find out more. This means that the momentum often snowballs on a project very easily.

It can also be a great way to increase your confidence in an area – sometimes a lack of confidence is based around your own perception of your skills in any area, getting curious about developing those and having an accurate assessment of where you are can be a huge benefit.

What can you get curious about today? What would you love to find out more about?

If you are up for it I invite you to give yourself some time to play with this. Pick a time frame that fits with where you are at the moment and your life, it may be a couple of minutes, it may be a couple of hours, maybe a couple of days … you get the idea.

1. Pick a topic that interests you and decide that you are going to spend your allotted time getting curious about that topic.

One of the key parts to this is pick something that you find interesting – not something you think you “should” find interesting, something that you actually do. It doesn’t have to be an earth shattering, life-changing topic – we’re only playing 😉

If you are still wondering what to pick – if you were reading a magazine what articles would cause you to pause and read more – or if you were flicking through unlimited TV channels and a documentary/ behind the scenes/ day in a life of show caused you to stop, what would that topic be?

I wonder what would happen if you allowed yourself to get a bit more curious?

2. As you allow yourself to wonder and be curious about this topic notice what questions come up for you around this area….

Maybe it’s a “how do they do that” type question, or a “why does that happen”, it might even be “I wonder what that feels like” perhaps its something else entirely – make a note of the questions you are aware of and note them down.

3. From your list of questions notice which (if any of them), you want to go find out more about – it may be that you can do a quick search on the Internet, perhaps taking someone to lunch and asking them would find you the answers. Maybe it’s even trying something for yourself.

4. What would be a fun way of finding those answers out?

NB: Here’s the disclaimer bit, do check out the safety aspect and consequences of any action you choose to take – In the unlikely event you are curious about what it feels like to electrocuted I am not suggesting sticking your fingers in a plug socket to experience it for yourself – maybe find a second hand account and find the answer that way!

5. Pick an action that would be fun (yet safe!) to do, something that you are curious to see the results of, and go and play.

I’m curious to know about your experience playing with this and would love to hear how you get on.

This post was originally posted on my blog Your Changing Direction, which contains lots of pieces about general life improvement.

Guest Posters update 2

 in site news  tagged business coach / business coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / guest authors / guest post / guest posters / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development / posts about coaching

The list of guest posters is ever growing with the posts themselves scheduled to start very soon. My idea is to have a guest poster is so that this site provides a real mix of approaches, opinions and topic that are all of potential interest to coaches and those interested in coaching.

Some authors are choosing to write a piece that informs about their specific area of expertise. Others are picking topics that answers questions they see/hear many coaches ask, or they feel is a problem for a lot of coaches. Another approach is to share their own experience’s and beliefs about coaching – the things they wished they’d known when they first started out. Just like there are many different ways that coaches coach, there have been many different angles that the forthcoming guest posters are taking to produce a piece that is interesting for you to read.

The different topics and approaches is exactly what I hoped would come from the invitations I’ve sent. And I would love to take this time to thank everyone who has already said yes.

It’s not too late though if you want to be a Friday Guest poster – Contact me and we can schedule in your week.

Hay House Radio 1

 in audio / Resource  tagged audio / coach / coaches / coaching / free coaching resource / Free resource / Hay House Radio / Radio / resource

Friday is the day on this site when the post is devoted to a guest author or is about a resource. I have an ever-growing list of guest posters scheduled, starting soon, that I am very excited about. However, this week I wanted to add a suggestion of a resource.

One of the ways that I have developed my own style of coaching is not only by doing lots of coaching but by seeing, hearing and experiencing other coaches work.

While there are different ways of coaches demonstrating their coaching skills, techniques and approaches using audio. Today I wanted to specifically mention the station Hay House Radio.

You may have heard of Hay House as a leading publisher of mainstream and self-improvement books, producer of lectures and workshops. Currently, they publish over 250 books and 300 audios by over 130 authors. You may have some of their books on your bookshelves.

Hay House also have a radio station, available online, where many of their top authors have call in shows. Via this station you can hear the likes of Michael Neill, Cheryl Richardson, Robert Holden work with callers (if you call in, maybe even yourself.)

It provides a great opportunity to hear how the coach incorporates many different aspects to quickly make a difference for their callers. As you listen you there may be questions that they ask or approaches they take that you wouldn’t have taken/thought of using. The option of listening again, available free for one week, will give you the opportunity to go back and listen to how and what the caller says and how that links into the coaches response.

Click Here to visit www.hayhouseradio.com

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What is coaching? 2

 in Coaching  tagged business coach / business coaching / coach / coaches / coaching / coaching courses / coaching qualifications / coaching skills / coaching techniques / coaching training / executive coach / leadership coaching / life coach / life coaches / life coaching / performance coaching / personal coach / personal development

Coaching is about working with an individual or a group/team to enable them to achieve the results that they want. It can be, and is, used successfully in a variety of different situations from sport, business and individuals personal lives.

Generally coaching has a conversational structure that is focused upon unlocking potential and maximising performance.

Coaching is an interactive process between the coach and client. Good coaching is more than a set of skills and techniques. You’ll find coaches with a variety of different backgrounds, theoretical frameworks, unique qualities and personalities.

The role of the coach is to facilitate the changes that the client wants to make. While some coaches may disagree the way I work is that the client is the expert on themselves. I, as the coach, am the expert on being a catalyst to discover how to make the changes you want to make in your work and other areas of your life.
Coaching allows clients to experience a sense of partnership and support in achieving their personal goals that is often not available elsewhere in their lives. Regular coaching sessions provide you with dedicated time to focus on what you truly want and what must happen to create it. I help you design action steps to meet your goals, then hold you accountable to your own stated desires, providing perspective, feedback, and smart questions along the way. As a result, you stay motivated, make significant changes, and achieve more than you may previously have thought possible.

Research carried out by the American Society for Training and Development concluded that the likelihood of achieving a goal were affected by the following actions: If youHear an idea there is a 10% probability you will complete your goalConsciously decide to adopt an idea there is a 25% chance you will complete your goal

Decide when you will do it, then the probability rises to 40%

Plan how to do it then there is a probability of 50% you will complete your goal.

Commit to someone else, chances raise to 65%

Have a specific accountability “appointment” with someone, there is a 95% likelihood you will attain your goal.

Coaching is a supportive relationship with a trained professional that enhances your ability to learn, make desired changes, solve problems, and achieve goals. I work with my private clients individually generally by telephone, typically in a series of regularly scheduled sessions providing that accountability “appointment” that has been found to work so well.
Those who choose to work with a coach normally have one of two reasons:

They want more (either generally or in a specific area)

They want something different to what they have now

Each coach will have their own personal style and will no doubt adjust the way that they work depending upon the client that they are working with. I suggest that you find the one that you feel comfortable working with – the one who will make the positive difference to your life.

Some coaches will specilise in working with you to solve a specific situation (ie giving a specific presentation), others cover a general area of your life (ie. being confident when public speaking), transforming your entire life or mix all three depending upon what you want from each session.

Some of the benefits of coaching are:
Recognising and realising what you want (sometimes referred to as a goal)
Making positive changes in your life
Finding and subsequently using your unique strengths – this sometimes involves working on areas you perceived as a limitation
Managing yourself and your resources better

Specifically, but by no means extensively, this could be around:
Turning Self Employed

Becoming comfortable selling
Becoming more confident
Increasing motivation
Reducing stress and getting a work/life balance that works for you

Coaching generally focuses on the where you are now and where you want to go in the future. It is not about reliving past events

Coaching is often about choices, it’s not at all uncommon for you to realise that where you previously thought you were stuck you had missed seeing alternatives.

Wanted: Guest posters

 in site news  tagged blog / coaches / coaching / guest author / guest post

Every Friday I want to include a post from a “guest”, ideally having a real mix of posts with different opinions, approaches and topics.

It’s one of my coaching beliefs that the coaches who have exposed themselves to a range of approaches etc have the most flexibility when working with clients. So I’d love to reflect that with the posts on the blog.

Interested? Then here’s what else you’ll need to know:

The only thing that I ask is that any posts are of interest to the audience of coaches/ those interested in coaching and is respectful of others views.

I’m very happy for guest posters to include a bio, in fact I think that would be a great bonus for any readers who want to find out more.

Also, if there is a particular week you’d prefer a post to run because it helps to promote an event you are running, I’ll do my best to accommodate that request. In the event I have two people wanting the same date I think the fairest thing to do is schedule them on a first come first served basis. 🙂 If that does happen I will make sure that I’ll communicate this with you and offer alternative available Fridays.

If you want to be one of the guest posters then contact me and let me know.

What Do You Want?

 in General life improvement

It is not uncommon for the communication I have with people to be around clarifying what it is that they want. I thought that this post could give you something to play with to help bring you some more clarity about where you are now, and where you want to be heading.

I don’t know if you drive, but for the purpose of this example pretend that you can 🙂 Imagine that you are a taxi driver and the only instruction that a passenger said when they got into your taxi is “Drive” giving no indication of where specifically they actually wanted to go. Now it’s possible that by complete chance you could end up where it is that they wanted to be, but it’s not that likely.

Now this is obviously a strange day because your next passenger does give you slightly more information, this time they say, “I don’t want to go to Alphabet Street”. Now there is possibly a slightly higher chance that you would end up where they wanted to go than your first passenger of the day, the one that just said “drive,” but again chances are that it’ll be somewhere else.

You are no doubt quite happy to see your next passenger who by comparison to your earlier fares can tell you precisely the address that they want to go to. As a taxi driver you know that there are several different routes that you could take to get there. You decide to take the next right turn and carry on to the next crossroads. Once you reach the cross roads you can check what the traffic is like there and decide if you want to stay on this route or change to a different one. You know that there are many different points in this journey that you can do this, so the only thing you have to decide upon is the very next step.

I suspect that I don’t need to point out that it is the third passenger that is much, much more likely to get to where they want to go.

There is a theory that says that our unconscious mind interprets what we tell it literally. When I am working with someone on this I “try on” what has been said and see what happens when I literally take what has been said to see how clear that message is that we’re giving to our internal taxi driver 🙂

I invite you to play with clarifying what it is that you want.

1. You get to pick the context, by all means pick what it is you want to take your life to the next level. If you are not used to doing this you may find that answering the question what it is that you want in your entire life is a huge topic. In which case you may want to start in a smaller context, what do you want to do this week, or this evening or maybe even in the next hour?

You could also pick a particular area of your life, for example work or whereever it is you want to be changing direction.

Decide upon what you want to play with for the purposes of this exercise.

2. Just for 2 minutes write down whatever comes into your head to the question what do you want? Don’t try and edit yourself, just get onto paper the answers that spring to mind.

3. Re-read what you have wrote and notice which of the 3 passengers your answers are like? Make life easier and make sure you know how you will know you have got to where you want to go.

So for example, your answer may have been that you don’t want to feel nervous when speaking in team meetings at work. This is like the second taxi passenger, what would you like to feel instead? In which case, the answer may become, “I want to feel enthusiastic when speaking in team meetings at work.”

Perhaps your answer already fitted with the third type of passenger – in which case what would be the very first step for you to take. So in the example “I want to feel enthusiastic when speaking in team meetings at work” maybe the next step would be to decide to speak at Tuesday’s team meeting, perhaps it’s deciding ahead of time about a subject that you are enthusiastic about or the next step is talking to your line manager about it … Make it easy, identify the very next step at the rate and speed that’s right for you.

4. It’s up to you then if you want to take that next step or not.

Bonus tip: Want to play further? Repeat the exercise with the question; what would I love to do?

This post was originally posted on my blog Your Changing Direction, which contains lots of pieces about general life improvement.

Happy Happiness Happens Month!

 in General life improvement

This was originally posted in 2010 on www.YourChangingDirection.com

“Happiness is a Swedish sunset – it is there for all, but most look the other way and loose it.”
(Mark Twain)

August is the 11th annual “Happiness Happens Month.” The Society of Happy People, who began the celebration, say that there are 3 purposes of the month:

· To recognise and express happiness
· To listen to others talk about their happiness
· And “Don’t rain on other people’s parades.”

Given that this is the first week in August I thought that it was appropriate that today’s message should be about happiness.

As I sat down to write this I glanced at my bookshelves to see several books devoted just to the topic experiencing more happiness in your life. It’s a topic where much can be written about so I will just cover a part that I find often comes up when I am talking with clients and potential clients.

I work with individuals who want more success so very early on we have a conversation about what that means for them and how they’ll know they’ve got it. While I get a variety of answers ranging from financial amounts, where they are living (and who with), it often boils down to the fact that they think that they will be happy when they have that success.

At some stage they have started to follow a belief that when they are successful then they will be truly happy. While I have no objection what-so-ever for someone to have the bank balance, business, relationship and living conditions that they’d love and being happy I think it’s a great shame to postpone feeling happy until that time!

This week I invite you to consider the possibility that

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.”
(Albert Schweitzer)

If that was true, what would you do different?

Have a week full of recognising happiness

Love

Jen