I often read a variation of the above question. Maybe you’ve even landed on this site looking specifically for the answer to your version of this question so let me give my answer. (This article is written for coaches, if you are looking for how to increase your own confidence you may find Here provides you with more a relevant  (free) resource.)

My short answer is the technique that works. I know that might read as flippant but let me expand on what I mean by that.

Firstly, I will say that the coaches who ask that question do so as they genuinely want to provide the best service they can for their clients.

I find that when coaches ask that question there is one, or a combination of, four things going on:

1)      The coach is not clear upon what confidence means for their client and how they will know that they have got there.

2)      The coach is not clear about what’s getting in the way of feeling confident/ taking action on what the client wants to be confident doing?

3)      The coach does not know how the client was “doing” unconfident? – They don’t know where the client is starting from.

4)      The coach feels lacking in trust and confidence in their own skills.

A technique for any problem really is just a method of transportation to get someone from point A to/towards point B. So in this instance, move someone from where they were to what they mean by confidence.

I find that once you have the answers to the first three points a technique or a method to move the client forwards becomes clear to either the coach or the client. Remember that the client is the expert on them so it is quite possible that with your facilitation clarifying points 1, 2 and 3 that an easy and fun solution is obvious to them.

It’s point 4 that often gets in the way of the other 3. If you find that during a session that your focus is pulled towards you feeling a lack of trust and confidence in your own skills you will probably find that by doing whatever you know to do to bring your focus back onto your client that you will find steps 1-3 already easier.

Most coaches’ find that practice will also increase your confidence as the more you actually do the easier it becomes. As will expanding your own knowledge of different techniques, not with the aim of following them to the letter with a client but so that it can expand your own ideas for creating methods that work for each client.

I started this piece by saying that the technique to use is the one that works. It’s important to bare in mind that your client has not only got to be willing to use that technique but they have actually got to use it outside of the coaching session in “the real world.”

Sometimes, you may find that a technique that they loved in the session can encounter some form of obstacle in “the real world.” If this happens this does not mean that either of you failed it just means that it needs a tweak to make it more suitable or a different option picked.

Sometimes it may take a number of gentle nudges or manoeuvrings to get to point B, there is no rule (at least that I’m aware of) that says it all has to be done using just one question or technique!