How To Get Paid What You Ask For

In today’s guest post Ling Wong shares her expertise and knowledge as she focusess on the topic of being paid for your coaching:

How To Get Paid What You Ask For

by Ling Wong

"How To Get Paid What You Ask For" by Ling Wong

We have been told to raise our fees. We have been told to create high-end coaching programs instead of taking clients on a monthly basis. We might even been shown how to structure and price these programs.

All good – the question is, after all the pricing and program designing, are you actually asking for the money and getting PAID what you ask for? If not, all those trainings, pricing and program design are just intellectual exercises… and you may still be constantly discounting, undercharging, over-delivering or even giving away services for free (ever done “I am just going to throw this in”?)

When it comes time to talk coaching fees, many coaches get sucked into their potential clients’ money stories. Coaches, who generally are quite sensitive to other people’s feelings (aka, empathic), have the tendency to short-change themselves in an attempt to make everyone happy.

If you want to get paid what you ask for, you have to be mindful not to get sucked into your potential clients’ money stories, and not to let you own preconception and judgement give charge to the conversation. (Remember, money is neutral – it’s just paper in your wallet or numbers in your bank account – until you give it meaning!)

Regardless of your area of expertise, your clients come to you to make improvements, to get to a better version of themselves through your services. You are there to hold that space, that higher vision, for them so they can step into it.

If you are buying into their stories, you are encouraging them to stay stuck in where they are. If you let them wallow in their stories, you are encouraging a victim mindset that is not conducive to them taking charge and making changes to their lives.

All the coaches I know do want to get paid what they ask for (of course!) The problem happens during the money talk moment of the sales conversation… the subconscious mind kicks in with its fears and doubts, its needs to be accepted and its misguided urge to “make everyone happy.” Without thinking, these coaches would shortchange themselves and then after it’s all said and done, bang their heads on the wall and beat themselves up wondering why the heck were they doing it again.

If you have given in to these stories in the past, I highly recommend you write down a guideline for yourself on what is acceptable, and stick with it. You may even want to explore some scenarios and script out your response.

Having an empowered voice and a healthy boundary around money are also essential in helping you get what you ask for.

When we give away our power around money, it usually reflects something deeper. Most commonly, it reflects Fears of rejection, not being approved of, losing love, not being liked, being judged, or ending up with nothing.

We have a tendency to tie all these to whether people agree to work with us by giving us money. In a way, having people to pay us money, even if it’s not what we ask for, is better than getting nothing because in a way, it is some sort of validation or approval.

First of all, we need to undo these ties, associations and incorrect causality between our sense of self-worth and whether people are paying us for our products or services. In fact, I challenge the often used, almost-cliché phrase “charge what you are worth” because it really makes us believe what we charge is a direct reflection of our worth – which, of course, is not true. (Read this post for more on this.)

After you have figured out what the underlying fear you have behind giving away your power in your money conversation, ask yourself – what if being afraid of X is no longer important to you? How would you feel, what would you say and what action would you take? How would doing these change your business and your life?

What is more important, being afraid of X, or being empowered to get what you really want in life?

Last, but not least, pay attention to your boundaries. Having healthy and firm money boundary can help you sell with integrity. In my opinion, giving in to the money story of one client is not only a disservice to you, but also unfair to your other clients who are actually paying you for what your products and services are worth.

Most often than not, leaky money boundaries can be traced back to negative beliefs about money. Look back at all the circumstances in which you held a poor boundary, and ask yourself what negative belief about money do you have to release in order to make a positive impact with that situation? And, if money were sacred to you in that situation, how would you treat and value it?

About Ling Wong

Ling offers “Business Soulwork + Marketing Activation For Coaches” that embodies her “Heart & Guts” approach. She helps coaches supercharge their actions not only through smart strategies and practical tools, but also through their personal growth and development – so they not only grow their business, but also LET THEIR BUSINESS GROW THEM. Through her “left brain meets right brain” approach, she helps her clients uncover their truth and tap into their intuition, then ground those light bulb moments with practical strategies and marketing tactics to build a profitable and sustainable business that is a full expression of themselves. She firmly believes that all of us can fully express ourselves and our full potential through our businesses.

You can find Ling and download her free “Reignite Your Fire” Soul-Bomb session at or contact her at ling [at] business-soulwork [dot] com.

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