phone coaching


As a coach – how do you prepare for a coaching session?

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Back in 2010 I wrote a post all about preparing for a coaching session as a coach. It’s a post that I’ve noticed has continually got a steady stream of traffic so I thought it was time to revisit the question.

Looking back I can see that how I prepare for a coaching session has altered over time. I mention this not because I think any one method is “the way” but purely to introduce the idea that you are allowed to evolve your own style and routine over time. I’m a big believer in finding the way that best works for you and your clients.

When I originally wrote the post I had been reminded of a question the group was asked on a coaching course I had attended many years previously. The question was a version of “As a coach, how do you prepare for a coaching session?”

There were a number of individuals in the room with varying amounts of coaching experience in different contexts both face-to-face and via the phone. This resulted in a number of different answers as several coaches shared routines that they always performed.

I’ve grouped the answers under a number of different headings below and included some thoughts and examples about how these have altered for me personally over time.

Activities to ensure the coach is physical comfortable throughout the session.

Sometimes this involved the physical set up of the room/phone area e.g. making sure that tissues and a drink are within easy reach. Although I’ve a cough/mute button on my phone set up so I don’t deafen my client if I feel a sneeze or cough coming unexpectedly during a phone call the tissues and water are a must for me.

Other things meant ensuring that basic needs such as needing to go to the toilet or hunger would not cause a distraction during the session.

For me this has been pretty consistent over my years coaching. It just seems easier and I build time in between sessions to ensure a comfort break can be taken if needed. Plus it’s time that can be really useful to have time if there’s something I need to follow up on immediately.

Checks to ensure that the client is physically comfortable throughout the session

This normally applied to face-to-face coaching sessions. While tissues and refreshments were mentioned by some, the physical layout of the room was the thing most often checked. Thought and consideration appeared to be made to how seats were being arranged and the possibility for the need of a table etc.

Most of my coaching takes place via phone or Skype calls. This means I have little control over the room set up my client is using. I do include suggestions in my welcome pack about being comfortable, making it as easy as possible to focus and avoiding distractions.

I usually also ask at the start of each call “Is now still a good time to talk?” This is deliberate, firstly because if someone has been delayed and is stuck on a train etc it’s much easier to deal with that situation before the signal drops as they go through a tunnel etc. (It doesn’t happen often but sometimes the unexpected and unplanned for happens) Mainly however, it’s a question I find helps clients to transition from an already potentially hectic day to a time that’s just for them to focus and slow down.

Checks that the coach had everything they expected to use.

Commonly this included being able to see a clock to monitor the time, paper & pen and a diary to schedule the next session. Specific “worksheets” or other books or equipment were also mentioned if a coach planned a specific activity or share a specific quote.

Over time I find I’ve personally needed less and less. Partly this is due to technology calendars, clocks, timers etc are now all available easily with a swipe of a finger on a phone etc. (I’ll return to mention phones later)

I still have a pen and paper to make notes but where when I was first starting I’d often have worksheets handy that’s changed. I may design a bespoke exercise in that moment to work with a specific client based upon the conversation so far but I can’t remember the last time I used a worksheet with a client. (Again this is just my style and I mention purely to emphasis that you are allowed to change how you work – so if you’re thinking you need to get it perfect immediately don’t put yourself under that pressure, allow yourself to experiment and evolve your own way)

Time specifically set aside to review any previous sessions and any coaching preparation the client had already provided the coach with prior to the start of the session

Different coaches gave different reasons for what they reviewed. Some liked to have a reminder of what the client had committed to during the last session. Some coaches wanted a general reminder of the session to ensure continuity from where the last session finished.

Others were more focused on any preparation they had been sent because the way they worked concentrated upon where a client is in that moment – rather than where they were at the last session.

When I first started out I used to only feel prepared if I had lists of questions to ask connected to either the last session or any pre-session material I’d been sent. In reality I seldom actually asked any of those questions during the session. Often the client had already moved on and those were no longer relevant. Alternatively, I found that the questions I imagined asking were actually not relevant as soon as we started exploring a topic. I may have been making up what a client would answer to predict the next question but in reality the client had their own answers!

Now I will read the pre-session material I’m sent but where as in the past I saw it partly as a chance to help me prepare. Now I usually only see it as a way for a client to prepare. Just as I used to have imaginary coaching conversations with clients before a session I find clients pre-session material can trigger similar imaginary coaching conversations for themselves. So that by the time it comes to our actual session they’ve already potentially had a new insight and we can focus on something else instead. I’ll also quickly check on agreed upon actions in case that’s something that I need to highlight (accountability is something that some clients love to use)

Something based around energy or ensuring that the coach was in the “right” state to coach.

The answers in that group training was often something personal. For some it involved doing something energetically, others chose to meditate or listen to a particular piece of music. Others had other rituals that they choose to perform.

Over the years I’ve had lots of different rituals. I’ve deliberately triggered energised states or deeply focused states. I’ve meditated or used various self-hypnosis techniques.

At the time of writing the original post I loved asking myself the question

“what can I do to ensure that I show up brilliantly?”

As one lovely coach commented in the first post, it’s a great question to encourage you to define what showing up brilliantly actually means for you. My current style is much more relaxed and trusting that there’s not as much I need to do.

Whilst I didn’t include this heading in the original post I’m going to add a new one:

Anticipating and avoiding interruptions and distractions

I’ve already mentioned that I encourage clients to avoid distractions. There’s certain things I do to ensure the same applies at my end of the conversation. Switching phones to silent/aeroplane mode is one thing.

If you are working from home and share the house with other family members you’ll find your own way to make sure you are not disturbed. Personally I shut my office door and because that’s not always obvious from the stairs (it’s at the end of a corridor) I also have a lamp that I switch on that’s reflected in a mirror make it much more obvious that I’m not going to answer any bellowed questions no matter how loud they shout.

I also generally have to move a cat from my office before a call. This is a step I included very early after my cat at the time got annoyed I wasn’t paying her attention, walked across the phone keyboard and hung up on one of my very first practice clients! (Luckily the client was a cat owner themselves and found it very funny – I was mortified at the time!)

There is always going to be the potential for certain unexpected disruptions. If a fire alarm starts going off, for example, then you need to ensure your own safety. However, I suggest if you can plan to avoid them it’s easier. It’s also worth mentioning that for some clients avoidable disruptions are not acceptable.

The message I left that particular part of the training with was that it was important to create a pre-coaching routine. I’ve no idea if that was the intention of the trainer on that particular day or not but it was what I personally took away.

Although my routine has altered in length and content over time I still deliberately build certain aspects into my schedule to allow for a routine prior to a coaching session.

Fotolia 69221503 XSDo you have anything specific you do before a coaching session?
Perhaps there’s something that has occurred to you whilst reading this post.

Feel free to share your answers and comments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen WallerJen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. One of the aspects of her role Jen loves the most is seeing individuals find their voice, grow their confidence and take the next steps. This allows them to make a massive positive impact and difference with their coaching. (For more info about Jen’s coaching click here) Jen has owned and run Coaching Confidence, the coaching blog since 2010.

In her spare time Jen is a volunteer for the UK based charity The Cinnamon Trust. This charity supports elderly and terminally ill pet owners to provide care for their pets. As a volunteer, Jen regularly walks dogs for owners who physically often find that more challenging then they once did. As a pet owner herself, Jen finds it really rewarding to be able to assist an owner stay with an animal that has become part of the family. (Plus it’s a great additional motivator when working from home to get out and get some fresh air and exercise)

Jen also loves theatre and has been known to watch certain popular science fiction films and TV shows!


How effective are your communication skills? 3

In this week’s guest post, coach Beverley Ireland-Symonds shares some of her thoughts about communication skills and coaching.

How effective are your communication skills?

By Beverley Ireland-Symonds

When you start training as a coach one of the first things you learn is the importance of having effective communication skills to ensure the success of the coach/client relationship.

No one starts training as a coach unless they’re interested in helping people. However, it often comes as a surprise to trainee coaches that their communication skills aren’t quite as good as they thought they were.

There are 4 main reasons for this.

  1. Most of us take communication for granted.
  2. We often lack knowledge about the different ways people communicate
  3. We sometime lack awareness of how individual differences affect successful communication
  4. We’re often accustomed to criticising other people’s communication skills but unaccustomed to reviewing our own.

Of course as soon as you start training some of these things start to become very obvious indeed. You’re taught how to build rapport, use active listening skills, mirror client’s body language, vary tone and pace as appropriate and learn the value of silence, as well as many other things.

I remember I had to work hard to change some of my non-verbal communication skills. I’d spent a lot of my working life using BSL (British Sign Language ) and Makaton (signing system) and consequently used my hands a lot when I was talking. Of course this was fine in the context of which I had used those skills, but not good when I was coaching someone.

However, it wasn’t as easy as I thought to just stop using my hands excessively. It took me about three months to stop altogether, though for sometimes afterwards, I suffered an occasional lapse in concentration and would move them unnecessarily. It’s something that I am still very conscious of and regularly review.

Not using my hands was one small area of non-verbal communication skills I had to improve on, but of course there were many others. Even though I came from a communication background and had spent many years teaching and training different aspects of written, verbal and non-verbal communication, training as an NLP Coach certainly helped to hone my skills.

However, one of the things that I was unprepared for when I started to work regularly with clients was the quite different challenges of communicating effectively using Sykpe or the phone rather than face to face.

So many of our interactions in life and our understanding of them depend on what we see, not just what we hear. So just like someone who is blind or partially sighted when you coach over the phone you have to develop stronger skills in our other senses. In this case it is our listening and oral skills that have to become even more finely tuned.

Some of the key issues include:

The use of silence: It can often be more difficult to understand why a client is silent when you can’t see them. It could be they’re distressed, they’re thinking, they didn’t understand, they’re annoyed, they’re distracted. You don’t have any of those visual clues that you have when you’re face to face and it can be even harder to anticipate if and when you should interject.

The client’s voice: Voices always give away a lot of different clues. It’s often easy to pick up by the tone or pitch of the voice and how the client is feeling, including whether or not they’re smiling. What you do miss out on when you can’t see them is whether the rest of their body language is in tandem with what they’re saying. Face to face we’ve all seen a client say they really do want to do something, whilst giving themselves away by shifting their eyes or shaking their heads at the same time.

The coaches voice: The flip side to not being able to see the client and therefore you need to listen even more carefully to what is being said, is that the client can’t see you and therefore you need to be even more aware of your own, tone pitch and pace. Many people are unaware of how differently they sound over the phone. When people can’t see each other, they can struggle to pick up what’s being said, particularly if you speak quickly. Obviously you’re not able to mirror any of the client’s body language but you can mirror their tone and pace to build rapport.

Staying focussed. As a coach our client would expect us to stay in the now. I’m not suggesting that it’s any more difficult on the phone or Skype to stay focussed entirely on the client for 45 minutes or longer, than it is when you’re face to face, but it is a different experience and again with visual clues missing it is the listening skills that take on even greater importance.

Whether coaching face to face or over the phone or Skype, I don’t believe one is easier than the other, they are just different, and whether you choose to exclusively use one or the other or do a combination of them both, the most important thing to remember is that you’re communication needs to be effective for a successful client/coach relationship.

It’s with that in mind that I use 3 specific strategies for checking the ongoing effectiveness of my communication:

1. I always review my coaching sessions, including a specific section where I evaluate specific areas of communication and make notes of what I might do differently or need to improve on.

2. I occasionally run a survey with my clients (using survey monkey) where they answer some questions anonymously about my communication style. This not only keeps me on my toes, but has made me make specific changes to my practice.

3. At set intervals during a group of coaching sessions, I ask the client whether they think the way we’re communicating with each other is effective or if there is anything they’d like me to do differently.(I always remain aware though that some might tell me what they think I want them to say, rather than what they think)

The reason why I adopt this approach is because I always keep in mind this famous quote from George Bernard Shaw

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place”

I have this quote above my desk in my office and always thought about it when I was a senior manager is a different working environment. However, it’s just important to me as a coach. Yes, I can assume a lot about how effective I am as a communicator as my clients achieve and/or exceed their goals, but I never want to become complacent about it. Communication is too important for that.

How often to you check the effectiveness of your communication skills?

About the Author/Further Resources

Beverley Ireland-Symonds has worked in different fields including the NHS, travel and tourism, fashion, as well 16 years in adult and further education. As a qualified NLP Coach and Certified Practitioner, she works with clients to improve their confidence and image and has developed an online coaching programme for people returning to work after a break. She also runs a training and consultancy company specialising in communication skills and language development. You can follow her on Twitter and LinkedIn


Coaches, do you need sight to listen? 4

Before setting up my own coaching practice full time I was employed in the training and development team of a multi-national company. One of the departments I particularly loved working with was the contact centre  – the very nature of the work of a contact centre involves a lot of communication with people over the phone.

I spent many a happy hour developing the skills of individuals who spent the majority of their working lives having conversations over the phone.

I once ran a workshop that had a mix of individuals who had a background working via a phone and those who generally worked face-to-face. I knew the work of all of those in the room and knew that they were all fantastic listeners.

As part of the workshop I included an exercise about listening – the whole group excelled at the first part. The difference came when I asked that they did the same exercise with their eyes shut. What quickly became apparent was that those who had lots of experience working via the phone found the task relatively easy. Those who mainly worked face-to-face struggled without the visual cues they were used to working with.

Now I’m not for one minute suggesting that those who normally worked face-to-face with people “failed” and therefore are consigned to never communicating using any other method ever again! What I am saying is that listening without being able to literally physically see what’s going on is a skill that can be developed like any other. It’s something that, with practice can get stronger and stronger.

So why am I writing about contact centres on a Wednesday coaching post?

You’ll often find coaches discussing the importance of listening when having a coaching conversation. Pretty much up until running that workshop I didn’t fully get why when I met other coaches at events so many of them would give me a strange look when I said I coached via the phone.

I do a lot of my work via the phone – it’s a medium I’m comfortable with. I like the extra benefits it can bring, such as being able to work with wherever my ideal clients are (providing they have a working phone signal). I don’t have to have geographic limitations so that we can both be physically in the same place.

It also makes scheduling clients a lot easier – there are no travelling times to take into consideration. So I have far more flexibility with my phone coaching sessions than I often have with a face-to-face session. I don’t know about you, but even though I often quite like a car or train journey I much prefer the joy I get from coaching. I’d much rather be spending my time running a coaching session than travelling to one.

There are many other reasons why I personally choose to mainly coach via the phone. Thinking back to the many different trainings I have attended there have been many, many skills and techniques that I have at my fingertips from those events to use when coaching via the phone.

However, I recall only a handful of occasions when someone has specifically discussed coaching using the phone – normally in response to a delegate’s question. I can also recall few training drills and exercises where we were strengthening our listening skills without the visual cues.

So, to answer the question in the title of this post, it is possible to listen without having visual cues. One of the main questions I get asked by coaches who don’t coach via the phone is how do you do that if you can’t see what someone is doing or thinking?

There are several things you can do to make coaching via the phone easier and skills you can develop and strengthen so that, if you want, you can transfer your own coaching style to work via the phone.

I love the variety and breadth that is found in the coaching profession, and there will be some coaches who choose to coach face to face. Perhaps it’s because it’s a medium they really enjoy or maybe they coach in a way that is really much easier face to face (ie as a kids sports coach). So please don’t misunderstand my post as an implication that all coaches should be coaching via the phone.

However, you may have ruled out working via the phone because you don’t know where to start or have no idea how you could coach without literally physically seeing when a client is thinking etc. I’ve seen some jump to the conclusion that they just couldn’t coach that way, that somehow they would never be “good enough.” If that sounds like you, please remember that:

(a)    Knowledge can be learnt

(b)   You can strengthen skills with practice

(c)    How do you know if you haven’t had the experience?

I have decided to put on a training to assist those who are interested in starting phone coaching. It’s a training where I’m pulling together all my coaching and working on the phones knowledge and experience to give a very practical course. Designed to put your learning into context I want you to complete the course having successfully coached others via the phone, building up experience and feedback.

It’s a training that will take place over the phone, using technology that allows you to work in small groups within the call, exactly as you could during a live face-to-face training – you will be strengthening those skills you will use when phone coaching all the way through the course. For more details click here.