perspective


Unveiling Life’s Roles Through Coaching Perspectives

This image is done in a dreamlike style. A lone figue is stood in shadow at the centre of the bottom of the image. Apparently they are stood in either a large wide aisle or down a wide catwalk leading to steps up to a raised stage area. It is not apparent what roles this individual is playing. On either side of the aisle are rows of audience, all sat, who are also in shadow.
Impressive looking columns are oneither side of this raised stage. 7 theratical spotlights are shining down onto different areas of the stage with light feflecting off the surface causing a glow.
The text reads: "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages.". (William Shakespeare)

In honour of today being #WorldTheatreDay, today’s quote is:

“All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages.”. (William Shakespeare)

I’m going to be looking at this from thoughts it’s sparked for me in relation to coaching, rather than analysing this as you may have done in an English class!

Upon reflecting on Shakespeare’s profound words, what strikes me most is the intricate web of roles we assume throughout our lives. These roles come with a set of implicit rules, dictating our behaviours, expectations, and limitations. We often find ourselves bound by societal norms and personal beliefs, shaping our actions based on perceived obligations and responsibilities tied to each role.

Consider the roles we inhabit daily: parent, partner, employee, friend. Each carries its own script, a preconceived notion of how we should perform and what we should prioritise. Yet, it’s not merely the external expectations that influence us; our internal dialogue, thoughts, and beliefs also play a pivotal role. They shape our perception of these roles, colouring our interactions and experiences in subtle yet profound ways.

Our thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions act as the playwright behind the scenes, crafting the narrative of our lives. They determine which roles we embrace wholeheartedly and which ones we resist. They influence the choices we make, the paths we take, and the relationships we cultivate. In essence, our inner world shapes the stage upon which we play out the various acts of our lives.

Similarly, it’s crucial to ponder what roles we assume that aren’t inherently ours. Often, we find ourselves shouldering burdens and responsibilities that exceed our domain. This self-imposed pressure and tension serve as red flags, signalling that we may be venturing into territory beyond our rightful sphere of influence.

Upon closer examination, we may discover that these perceived obligations lie outside the realm of human control. Attempting to manage or fix situations beyond our purview only leads to frustration and disillusionment. Recognizing and relinquishing these misplaced roles liberates us from unnecessary stress and empowers us to focus on what truly matters within our sphere of influence.

This notion prompts us to delve deeper into our essence beyond the roles we enact. Who are we when stripped of all roles, including the constructs of self-image and identity? Exploring this existential question unveils the core of our being, free from societal expectations and personal narratives.

If we were to wield the pen as the playwright of our own lives, unbound by external scripts or preconceived notions, what narratives would we craft for ourselves? What dreams would we dare to pursue, and what aspirations would we fervently chase? Embracing this creative autonomy empowers us to shape our destinies authentically, guided by our deepest desires and aspirations.

It’s a common misconception to view our thinking as akin to a movie reel, playing out in a linear and predetermined fashion. We often believe that once a thought sequence begins, we’re obligated to see it through to its conclusion, as if it were etched in stone. However, what if we were to reframe our understanding of thought as more akin to a live theatrical performance?

In this metaphor, our thoughts take on the fluid and dynamic nature of a play unfolding on stage. Like actors delivering their lines, our thoughts emerge spontaneously and interact with one another in real-time. However, unlike a movie with a fixed script, a play offers room for improvisation and spontaneity. Just as actors may deviate from the planned dialogue or encounter unexpected plot twists, our thoughts can veer off script, leading us down unanticipated pathways.

Moreover, the theatrical analogy invites us to consider the behind-the-scenes elements of our thinking process. Just as a theatre production has its backstage areas where the mechanics of the show are at work, our minds harbour a realm of subconscious processes and unseen influences. Sometimes, these “backstage” workings manifest in our conscious awareness, offering glimpses into the inner workings of our minds.

Furthermore, technical issues may arise during a theatrical performance, disrupting the flow of the show and revealing the artifice behind the illusion. Similarly, in the realm of thought, we may encounter disruptions or glitches that challenge our assumptions and disrupt our habitual patterns of thinking. These moments of cognitive dissonance or uncertainty serve as opportunities for growth and insight, prompting us to question our ingrained beliefs and perspectives.

Just as a theatre production may be interrupted by unforeseen circumstances, such as a power outage or a medical emergency, our thought processes can be disrupted by external events or internal triggers. These interruptions force us to pause, reassess, and adapt to the ever-changing landscape of our inner world.

Then there is always the option of us voluntarily leaving a performance at any point – though with a thought there is no other audience members toes to avoid standing upon in an attempt to creep out without disruption. In this instance, you can confidently just leave the thought performance and go and watch another instead – even picking an immersive interactive thought performance if you wish.

By embracing the metaphor of thought as theatre, we invite a sense of playfulness and flexibility into our relationship with our own minds. Rather than rigidly adhering to fixed scripts or resisting unexpected plot twists, we can approach our thoughts with curiosity and openness, exploring the rich tapestry of our inner experiences with a spirit of adventure.

In doing so, we cultivate a greater sense of agency and autonomy over our thinking, recognizing that we are not passive spectators but active participants in the ongoing drama of our lives. By embracing the fluidity and spontaneity of thought, we empower ourselves to rewrite the script of our own narratives, forging new pathways of understanding and possibility.

So what about you? What thoughts did this quote prompt for you?

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.


Gaining Clarity: Exploring a Coaching Perspective Through a Fresh Lens

The image for the "Gaining Clarity: Exploring A Coaching Perspective Through a Fresh Lens" post is in an oil painting style.
Two ornate chairs with arms are sat either side of a round table. On the table sits a pot with rose type flowers arranged in ths same pink tones that are depicted in the chairs. There are windows visible on the wall and a mirror in a frame.
The text reads: "A guest sees more in an hour than the host in a year." (Polish proverb)

Today’s quote is actually a proverb:

“A guest sees more in an hour than the host in a year.” (Polish proverb)

At first glance, the proverb may seem paradoxical. How can a guest, who spends only a fleeting moment in a host’s domain, possess greater insight than the host, who dwells within it year-round? The answer lies in the power of perception and perspective. A guest enters a situation with fresh eyes, unencumbered by preconceived notions or biases. They notice the subtle details, observe the interactions, and absorb the ambiance in a way that the host may overlook in their familiarity.

I think this proverb points to one of the aspects that many find really powerful about coaching. The coach acts a trusted pair of fresh eyes upon a situation. What may just seem to a client that something has always been the case, and it’s never occurred to them to question may be obvious to a coach to question. It’s from this coaching perspective that we can have impact.

In the realm of coaching, this proverb takes on a deeper significance. Coaches often serve as trusted guides, offering insights from a coaching perspective on their clients’ experiences and challenges. Like the guest in the proverb, coaches approach each coaching session with a sense of curiosity and openness, ready to explore new insights and perspectives alongside their clients.

One of the unique aspects of coaching is the ability to create a safe and supportive space for clients to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of judgment or criticism. In this way, coaches act as facilitators of exploration and discovery, helping their clients uncover hidden truths and insights that may have eluded them in their day-to-day lives.

Moreover, the proverb underscores the importance of presence in coaching. By remaining fully present and engaged during coaching sessions, coaches can pick up on subtle cues and nuances in their clients’ words and behaviours, allowing for a deeper exploration of their experiences and perceptions. This heightened level of awareness enables coaches to provide more targeted and impactful guidance, helping their clients navigate challenges and obstacles with greater clarity and confidence.

A different coaching perspective

From another coaching perspective, looking at our own coaching and coaching business with new eyes can also be revealing. How easy is it for an interested client to get in touch with you? What information does someone new to your coaching need? By adopting the perspective of a guest in our own coaching practice, we can uncover areas for improvement and refinement that may have gone unnoticed in our day-to-day operations.

For example, imagine stepping into the shoes of a potential client visiting your coaching website for the first time. Are your services clearly outlined? Is your contact information easily accessible? Do you demonstrate the value of your coaching? By considering these questions from the perspective of an outsider, you can identify opportunities to enhance the accessibility and effectiveness of your coaching business.

Furthermore, the proverb encourages us to embrace a mindset of continuous learning and growth in our coaching practice. Just as a guest brings fresh insights and perspectives to a host’s home, so too can ongoing education and professional development enrich our coaching skills and offerings. Whether through attending workshops, seeking mentorship, or engaging in peer-to-peer learning, coaches can expand their knowledge and expertise, ultimately benefiting both themselves and their clients.

By adopting the perspective of a guest in our coaching practice, we not only gain valuable insights into our own blind spots and areas for improvement but also cultivate a deeper understanding and appreciation for the transformative power of coaching. Just as a guest sees more in an hour than the host in a year, so too can we uncover new possibilities and opportunities for growth by approaching our coaching with fresh eyes and an open heart.

As we continue on our coaching journey, let us embrace the wisdom of the proverb and strive to create dynamic and enriching coaching experiences that inspire growth, insight, and transformation for ourselves and our clients alike.

Ultimately, the Polish proverb “A guest sees more in an hour than the host in a year” reminds us of the transformative power of perspective and perception in coaching. By embracing humility, curiosity, and openness, coaches can create dynamic and enriching coaching experiences that foster growth, insight, and self-discovery for both themselves and their clients.

As we reflect on this proverb, let us remember to use our coaching perspective as the wisdom of the guest and strive to approach each coaching session with fresh eyes and an open heart, ready to explore new insights and possibilities together with our clients.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer, Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.


A Shift in Perspective: Understanding Abigail Adams’ Wisdom

A light blue wall meats the same shade blue floor, though shadow and lighting makes it easy to see the 3 dimensional nature of that.
To the right is a post with 6 arrows all pointing either approximatley north east or north west from the viewers perspective. These white signs all appear to be blank.
The text to the left reads: "But let no person say what they would or would not do, since we are not judges for ourselves until circumstances call us to act." (Abigail Adams)

Today’s quote is:

“But let no person say what they would or would not do, since we are not judges for ourselves until circumstances call us to act.” (Abigail Adams)

In this quote, Abigail Adams challenges the notion of preconceived judgments and underscores the importance of context in determining our actions. She reminds us that it is only when faced with real-life circumstances that we truly understand the depths of our convictions and the choices we make. Let’s delve deeper into this thought-provoking quote and explore its relevance in our lives today.

Adams’ words resonate with the uncertainty and unpredictability of life. Often, we find ourselves forming opinions and making declarations about what we would or would not do in certain situations. However, such assertions are based on speculation rather than lived experience. We may believe we know ourselves well, but it is only when confronted with the complexities of real-life scenarios that our true character is tested.

Consider, for example, a hypothetical scenario where someone proclaims they would never compromise their values for personal gain. While this declaration may seem noble in theory, it is only when faced with a moral dilemma in the heat of the moment that one’s true convictions are put to the test. Circumstances have a remarkable way of challenging our beliefs and forcing us to confront our innermost values.

Judgement

Moreover, Adams’ insight highlights the fallibility of human judgment. We are often quick to judge others based on their actions without considering the context in which those actions occurred. However, as Adams suggests, we cannot fully understand another person’s choices until we have walked in their shoes. What may seem like a clear-cut decision from the outside may be far more complex when viewed from the individual’s perspective.

Furthermore, Adams’ words urge us to embrace humility in our interactions with others. Instead of passing judgment or making assumptions about someone else’s behavior, we should strive to cultivate empathy and understanding. Recognizing that we are not the ultimate arbiters of truth allows us to approach situations with an open mind and a willingness to learn from different perspectives.

In today’s world, where social media and instant communication often fuel snap judgments and knee-jerk reactions, Adams’ wisdom serves as a timely reminder to pause and reflect before rushing to conclusions. Rather than jumping to conclusions based on incomplete information, we should strive to withhold judgment until we have all the facts.

Perspective

What this quote also points towards is that our experiences of our cirmcumstances is directly a result of our thinking in that moment. So if you are in a low mood with lots of rubbish thinking you could react differently to the same minor inconvienience then if you had been in a great mood with not a lot on your mind.

I have found that if you have an understanding about that’s just how we work as humans that it’s much easier not to make knee jerk reactions because of low moods. I tend to be more aware that with that thinking going on that its not a great time to make life changing decisions or say something that will make situations worse.

An awareness and trust in the existance in our own innate wisdom also means that it is often easier to notice and listen to any guidance that shows up in the moment – you may think of that as intuition or a gut feeling. It’s something that operates in the now, rather than when we project our thinking into the future to try and predict what we would do. Which means that in any moment we have the possibility of something occuring to you in that moment that would never have occured to you before.

In conclusion, Abigail Adams’ quote serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of humility, empathy, and open-mindedness in our interactions with others. By recognizing the limitations of our own judgment and embracing the complexities of human experience, we can cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Ultimately, it is only through the crucible of real-life circumstances that our true character is revealed, and our capacity for empathy and compassion is tested.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.


Finding Resilience: Lessons from Queen Victoria’s Wisdom

This image is split into two halves. On the left is a empty great hall with columns around the edges and giant arched windows behind a stage. All the lights are shining fully and seats either side of an aisle are all facing towards the stage.
The image on the right is of an office with a sindle desk with an empty chir in front of a computer. Papers and files are pilled everwhere , including on the floor and some of the boxes on shelves are stacked haphazardly.
The text reads: "Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves." (Queen Victoria)

Happy Thursday! Today’s quote is:

“Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves.” (Queen Victoria)

In what seems to many as today’s fast-paced world, where the constant barrage of information and stimuli can overwhelm even the most resilient among us, Queen Victoria’s words offer a timeless reminder of the power of perspective and resilience. Let us delve deeper into the wisdom encapsulated in this profound statement and explore how it can inform our approach to navigating the ups and downs of life.

At first glance, Queen Victoria’s assertion may seem paradoxical. How can someone remain serene and composed in the face of significant events while being easily perturbed by minor inconveniences? Yet, upon closer examination, her words reveal a profound truth about human nature: our responses to external circumstances are shaped by our internal perceptions and thinking.

Stormy seas

Consider the metaphor of a ship navigating through stormy seas. During moments of great turmoil and upheaval, when the waves are crashing against the hull and the winds are howling, the captain must remain steadfast and focused. It is in these moments of crisis that calmness and clarity of mind are most crucial, guiding the ship safely through the tempest. All the Captains attention is on focusing upon what is happening in that moment – there is little room to get caught up in thinking around other things or even what may happen in any time but the immediate future.

In much the same way, when confronted with major life events or challenges, we are called upon to summon our inner strength and resilience. Whether it be the loss of a loved one, a career setback, or a global crisis, maintaining a sense of quietude and calm can help us weather the storm with grace and dignity. It’s not uncommon for individuals to report, after experiencing a significant event, that they operated almost instinctively, without overthinking. This suggests that in moments of crisis, our natural response is to prioritise immediate action over complex thought processes – just focus upon that one thing in front of you.

Trifles

On the other hand, it is often the trifles—the things we can think of as petty annoyances and minor inconveniences—that have the power to unravel our composure and apparently disturb our peace of mind. From the frustration of being stuck in traffic to the irritation of a malfunctioning device, these seemingly insignificant disturbances can seem to chip away at our patience and resilience. We can get caught in loops of thinking, piling meaning and stories upon how we think about the original circumstance so that we end up feeling totally overwhelmed by our own thinking.

Perspective

So, what can we learn from Queen Victoria’s words, and how can we apply it to our own lives? One key insight is the importance of perspective. By recognizing the relative insignificance of trifles in the grand scheme of things, we can choose to respond to them with equanimity rather than allowing them to dictate our emotional state.

One way you could do that is by using that feeling of overwhelm as a type of alarm clock if you like, a reminder that any moment we can relax our metaphorical grip on all the pile of thinking we have going on and let that just evaporate so we can just see that original circumstance for what it is without all the extra baggage of story telling and thinking.

Resilience

Moreover, Queen Victoria’s words remind us of the power of resilience—the ability to bounce back from adversity and remain steadfast in the face of challenges. It’s often said that kids can bounce back so much faster from things than adults and I’d like to suggest that this is because we are all born with that ability, we just often get into the habbit of overthinking that we forget that at any moment we can relax back into that space of inner wisdom where it seems resilence comes from.

In essence, Queen Victoria’s quote serves as a poignant reminder of the value of maintaining perspective and resilience in the face of life’s challenges. By embracing her wisdom, we can cultivate a sense of calm amidst the chaos and navigate the journey of life with grace, dignity, and fortitude.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.


Youth of Today

How many times have your clients shared experiences like the one Liz Scott shares in today’s guest post?

"Youth of Today" A guest post by Liz Scott

Youth of Today

By Liz Scott

What do you think of the youth of today? Are they loutish, rude thugs? After a quick search on the Internet, a quote from the Daily Mail confirmed this view: “British youths have been branded as the most unpleasant and potentially violent young people in the world.” Youngsters get a bad press so it’s easy to start believing these stories.

There’s a man I know, called Jack, who often complains about the youth of today. He’s in his 80’s and talks of a time when young people were respectful and polite. Nowadays all he ever sees are children dropping litter, spitting in the street or putting their feet on the seats of the buses. He finds youngsters frightening and intimidating.

The trouble is that once we start to believe a story like this then we ignore anything that contradicts it. It means that when we look in a newspaper we tend to disregard the stories about youngsters doing good deeds; instead all we see are scary, violent youths.

The other day Jack went shopping and he had a particularly memorable experience with a youngster. He was in the local shop and was chatting to the lady on the till whilst waiting for his change. He said goodbye to her and leaving the shop he started to walk home.

Out of nowhere a young lad, in a hoodie, tapped him on the shoulder. It made Jack jump out of his skin. As the lad lent forward Jack could feel his heart pounding in his chest. The lad reached into his pocket and terrifying thoughts erupted in Jack’s head; ‘Was he pulling out a weapon?’ ‘Should he call for help?’

The teenager took out a two-pound coin and handed it to him. “Here Mister, you forgot your change,” he said, and then giving him a big smile he sauntered on his way.

We are all a bit like Jack. We get stuck in a way of thinking and put the blinkers on. We are expecting the worse and are completely dumbstruck when our view of the world is challenged.

For Jack it was the young people, for you and me it is something else.

Do we really see the world as it is? It’s easy to over-dramatise a story and take it out of proportion. Maybe, now and again, we should challenge our view of the world and try to see things from a different perspective.

About Liz Scott

Liz Scott is a leadership coach and trainer. She is currently working in schools helping to develop coaching cultures; coaching helps bring back fun and passion into teaching and learning. www.lizscottcoaching.com

Find Liz on Twitter at @smartcoachliz