Life Cycles Coaching


It Is What It Is: The Art of Letting Go

Change can be a catalyst that prompts someone to turn to a coach for support. In today’s guest post coach Melani Luedtke-Taylor share some thoughts on letting go.

It Is What It Is: The Art of Letting Go

by Melani Luedtke-Taylor

My husband is not typically a guy who shows his emotions readily, but when I recently used the phrase “it is what it is” to describe a situation he spoke up – loud and clear. “I hate that phrase”, he said. “Too often it is used by people who are too lazy to know what it is and turn it into what it should be.” Unfortunately for my husband, he gets this a lot in his line of work from employees who simply do not want to tackle a difficult situation.

In some ways, I agree with him. There are people who are willing to let situations continue simply because it would be too much effort to work towards a solution. I work on membership for a national nonprofit organization and am always surprised with how many people do not belong or support causes for a myriad of reasons, most often because they feel that they do not have time to devote.

However, I use the phrase “it is what it is” a very different way than my husband’s employees. I use it to verbalize my understanding that I cannot change the situation therefore, letting it go and dealing with whatever comes my way.

For example, I cannot change someone else’s behavior. I can voice my displeasure with their choice, but I cannot dictate the action that they will take. Acts of God are the same way. So when my flight is delayed for an hour when a storm blows through, “it is what it is”. When I miss my connecting flight because we took off late due to a storm, “it is what it is”. No amount of worrying, yelling or planning would have changed the situation. I have to accept the situation and do my best with it.

Don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of situations that appear as if they can’t be changed. World hunger to me is a colossal problem that makes me so overwhelmed but it isn’t an “it is what it is” situation. I may not be able to solve world hunger by myself with my limited resources, but I can certainly do something about it; donate to the local food bank, volunteer at a soup kitchen, bring meals to the elderly, or countless other ways. My actions may not solve world hunger, but they certainly work towards alleviating the symptoms of it.

It is important to know what can and cannot by changed. Being able to let go of unchangeable situations helps maintain a calm core which improves your health. Changing what can be changed helps increase your level of happiness by giving more purpose to your life. If you need help with either, or simply help with knowing the difference, contact a coach. We are here to help you live more successfully.

About the Author/Further Resources

Melani is an accomplished marketing professional with over 16 years at a Fortune 100 company and has served on multiple non profit boards. She is certified in coaching through the Coaching Academy of North America (CANA) in Marketing, Non Profit Board, Resolution Success, Infertility and Life Coaching. She values education and is constantly working on updating her skills to ensure the most success for her clients.

She is married with a twelve year old daughter.

www.lifecyclescoaching.com

Yellow balloon image © Yanc | Stock Free Images & Dreamstime Stock Photos


Follow the Yellow Brick Road 1

In this weeks Friday guest post coach Melani Luedtke-Taylor shares advice from her experiences as she set up her coaching business.

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

by Melani Luedtke-Taylor

In the midst of starting my own business, I am starting to realize how much the experience reminds me of one of my favorite movies, The Wizard of Oz. Yes, really. Here I am, feeling like the world is so much bigger than me and knowing that something is missing from my life. I have always had an entrepreneurial spirit; I just didn’t know how strong it was until I started seeing my coworkers start disappearing from my job at a Fortune 100 company.

This was my proverbial tornado. I still had my job, but I was saddened by how many of those coworkers not only had no idea that this could happen, but did not prepare themselves with any sort of exit strategy or alternative. I knew that I needed to do better. I knew something had to change, but it took a lot of thought to determine just what it was that I could do.

So, I set out to find my very own version of the Land of Oz on my own Yellow Brick Road. Luckily, the trip did not begin with the Lollipop Kids, that part was always a little spooky to me. However, it did begin by finding my very own mentor and coach –or my own Glenda. She was supportive but stern. She helped me face some of the challenges that she knew would be coming my way. She helped me to stay on task and in my own timeline. Without her experience and support, I am sure that the road would have been much more like a mountain hike rather than a brick road.

I started pulling together little pieces of my business plan, but quickly came to realize that I needed help. That is when I came across my Scarecrow, the person who had more knowledge in certain areas than I did and kept me grounded. It is impossible to know everything well, so you need people around you to help you where you may be weak. It is not a sign of weakness to need help – it is a sign of good leadership and maturity. My Scarecrow asked me the questions that I needed to think about to successfully complete my plan and was someone I could bounce ideas off of.

As I was writing my plan, I started to feel like I was drowning in administration. I felt like all the planning had sucked the fun right out of the work I wanted to do in the first place. I took some time to myself and after some careful consideration, I realized that I wouldn’t have started off down this yellow brick road had it not been for my Tin Man, my passion for what I wanted to do. The passion is what drives us forward, helps us to overcome any of the obstacles that may be ahead of us. It is also what helps us to sustain enthusiasm even in the most trying of times.

There were risks, of course there were! When are there not risks that are associated with trying something new; especially something that you are counting on to pay your bills and sustain your family? My cowardly lion gave me the strength to keep moving, to keep the benefits in prospective and to keep taking the risk. I needed to trust in myself, my plan and my passion.

There were people who said I couldn’t do it. There were the nay-sayers that told me that my idea would never work. There were people who tried to setup roadblocks along my way. Regardless of their motivation, there are always the Wicked Witches out there who try to make you give up and not follow through. It can be anyone – including your own self-doubts. Negative self talk can be just as destructive to your progress as the negative people that can surround you. All of this can make you rethink your plan, try to force you off of your road and divert you from Oz.

When struggling with all the tax preparation, business plan writing and marketing plans, I had thought “perhaps I don’t want to do this” or “perhaps I am not good enough to do this” and I considered giving up. However, it was my skills, my passion and my strength that persevered. Whether or not I believed it then, I was always the man (or woman) behind the curtain pulling the strings.

A few pointers to ensure the flying monkeys don’t get you along the way:

1) Take the road one brick at a time.

This was a hard one for me to follow because like most in my generation, I like to have everything NOW. However, taking the time to plan positive short and long term goals for yourself is just as important as helping your clients do the same but take each day as it comes and enjoy each moment – you’re doing it!

2) Remember, it was the Tin Man, Scarecrow and the Lion that helped Dorothy.

We each have our own talents so make sure to surround yourself with people who have a different skill set than you do.

3) When given the “impossible” task of getting the witch’s broomstick, don’t give up hope.

You can’t plan for everything. There will be minor and even some major setbacks. Accept it as a lesson and do your best to learn from the experience. Make plans to steer clear of the situation in the future but keep on walking the road.

4) When someone runs off into the poppy field, don’t automatically follow them.

Be different, be creative, be YOU. Try new things and (possibly) fail, learn from those failures and succeed. A follower may do OK but will never be an innovator.

My best advice to you is to throw the water on the doubters, find your own Good Witch of the North, Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion and be your own Wizard. Do away with the negativity and maintain your enthusiasm – it is the only way to make it to the end of your own yellow brick road and make it back to a new, brighter version of your home and happiness.

About the Author/Further Resources

Melani is an accomplished marketing professional with over 16 years at a Fortune 100 company and has served on multiple non profit boards. She is certified in coaching through the Coaching Academy of North America (CANA) in Marketing, Non Profit Board, Resolution Success, Infertility and Life Coaching. She values education and is constantly working on updating her skills to ensure the most success for her clients.

She is married with a ten year old daughter.

www.lifecyclescoaching.com