horror movies


Coaches Scary Coaching Stories

So Monday was October 31st, otherwise known as Halloween. A day associated with fancy dress, trick or treating and scary stories and films. Perhaps not a day you associate much with coaching!

One thing I’ve noticed with clients and myself, over the years, is that we can be exceptionally good at scaring ourselves – we can create all sorts of horror movies and stories within our own heads.

Sometimes the plot can be aided by others contributions either personally or via the media etc but even those who may not consider themselves creative or imaginative can do a great job of scaring themselves out of taking the next step towards what they want.

One of the things as coaches we can do is to provide an external set of eyes and ears to a situation so it can be easy to spot when a client is making up their own personalised version of “nightmare on Elm Street.”

However, even as a coach, whilst we may have moments of insight and spot if we are doing it personally, it’s not always as easy when you are engrossed in a story we are making up ourselves.

At some stage we’ve probably all seen a TV show or film with a scene normally on a dark and stormy night where the lone hero goes off to investigate a strange noise! You’ve probably also had a thought at that moment along the lines of “You don’t want to do that.”

The outcome of that particular action will normally depend entirely upon what sort of TV show or film the script writers set out to create – if it’s a horror or crime show then the noise is quite possibly a mass murderer. If it’s a show about rescued animals then the noise is far more likely to be a lost cat.

When we are engrossed in the story it can be easy to be directed into the response that the scriptwriters were pointing us. Yet if something distracts us momentarily we may spot various inconsistencies that may suggest other possibilities.

You may have your own personal version of a story you tell yourself that spooks you into not taking action.

Perhaps as you gain more experience you may tell yourself that you are just not ready yet to take that next step, even when offers are right in front of you. Maybe you even compare yourself with other coaches, mentors and trainers you have encountered over time and concluded that you are not yet at their standard.

I can often see coaches getting stuck focusing upon negative thoughts such as:

  • “Am I good enough?”
  •  “Why would anyone want me as a coach?”

And

  • “No-one would pay me that much to coach them.”

At first glance these questions and thoughts may appear reasonable. Yet the question can spook so much that the coach may not actually answer the question that is so scary.

They either freeze and not take any more action or try and distract themselves by “just” doing something else rather than addressing the question and providing an honest answer.

For instance, I have found an increasing number of individuals who have undertaken and successfully completed a coaching training yet have not taken any further steps to use those skills and knowledge with “real people.” When questioned fear often plays a part for their inaction.

Personally, I feel that it is a real waste to have invested all that time and energy to develop such skills and knowledge. I also think it’s a huge waste of potential – just imagine the difference skilled and knowledgeable coaches can make to other people.

I’ve recently designed a new program called “Start coaching ‘real people’ in 90 days” to provide support for those who really want to coach yet have found it too scary to coach a “real person”.

I invite you to consider one of the questions I had in mind for participants when designing the coaching program:

What if you didn’t scare yourself out of your potential?

What would be your very next step that you’d take?

Love

Jen

P.S The link to find out more about “Start Coaching ‘Real People’ in 90 Days” is www.StartCoachingRealPeople.com