Helen Collier

Coaches and Money: 7 breakthroughs to help the money flow in 2015

 in Guest Post  tagged beliefs / business / Helen Collier / help / journaling / money / niche / present

In the first guest post of the new year money coach Helen Collier focuses upon:

Coaches and Money:

7 breakthroughs to help the money flow in 2015.

By Helen Collier

"Coaches and Money 7 breakthroughs to help the money flow in 2015." BY Helen Collier

My MacAfee Vulnerability Scanner has just popped up and told me it has found two new programme updates I need to install to keep my laptop running optimally.

How useful would it be if we had the equivalent of an internal money vulnerability scanner, that automatically scanned every 24 hours? Installed to spot what needs up dating and what needs binning to keep ourselves and our money life running optimally? More importantly it then goes on to make the necessary changes to get us back in tip top condition.

In the absence of our own personal ‘app’ it’s down to us to hone our own ability to look both internally and externally at ourselves and adjust as necessary.

2014 has been a year of big breakthroughs for me personally. Looking back I see how I have been scanning my installed money mind-set as I prepared to take my money coaching practice to the next level of success. Some of it is new learning, other parts simply deeper learning and some of it came with the ‘Durr!!’ moment. ‘How have I not seen these things!!?!’

7 breakthroughs to help the money flow.  In no particular order.

  1. This year I have had many conversations with women who outwardly ooze confidence and composure and yet underneath they were squirming with dread and embarrassment about money. Suddenly there was my niche right in front of me, these very women. In fact they had been there all the time but I simply hadn’t seen them. Since discovering this niche I’m focused and my client list has increased. I know who I am talking to when I write, when I am out giving talks, when I go out networking.

Action

 

Action: Find your Niche

 

  1. Find those things that keep you stuck. What are those big beliefs and assumptions that keep you stuck? I’ve discovered some great material this year developed by Keegan and Lahy called ‘Immunity to Change’ It provides a great structure for understanding why sometimes our best intentioned progress is held back almost by having the foot on the brake at the same time as trying to accelerate.   It’s one I knew well. It described my resistance perfectly. A belief that went something like. ‘I have to resist because if I don’t I’m going to lose control then something (unspecified) really bad will happen.’  The thing is this resistance in itself was very generalised and it was preventing my money flowing.

Action

 

Action: Find those big beliefs and assumptions that keep you stuck and test them for accuracy

 

  1. It’s important to pay attention to the practical side of money in your business. I’ve always known this, I don’t always do it but this year I’ve put some really simple systems in place that have helped me easily stay in control of my cash flow. I know when it comes to doing my tax return next week I’ve got everything I need at hand to do it. Andi Lonnen has just published a great little book called ‘Be fabulous at Finance’ which is well worth buying.

Action

 

Action: Pay attention to the practical side of money in your business.

 

  1. Getting down to your own deep layers of assumptions is like peeling the layers of an onion; it may well come with tears but that’s when you know you’ve hit on something and if you keep peeling you eventually get to the sweet spot. I’ve long known that I am the mistress of creating a smoke screen. Setting up elaborate psychological screens to prevent me from doing that which I say I want to do. This year I have finally outed a real big one for me. I’ve not got to the sweet spot yet. ‘If I make a success of my business then I will be exposed as a fraud’ is sitting on my desk as I work. I do cringe as I type. It throws up the one Brene Brown has been talking about, vulnerability. What will people think? What will people say when they hear this? This though is what my clients experience when they take that first step to talking about themselves and their money. I owe it to my clients to continue working through my own personal money issues so that I can be cleaner and clearer in my interactions with them

Action

 

Action: Be prepared to feel vulnerable in order to be in a clearer, cleaner place for your clients

 

  1. Writing as a way of gaining understanding, clarity and perspective. I encourage my clients to keep a journal in order to explore their relationship with money and keep track of their progress. My own writing this year has taken on a whole new perspective as I have explored my own spirituality and where money fits into this picture. It’s been sumptuous spilling my innermost thoughts onto paper. I have created a module on money journaling for clients and included topics for exploration.

Action

 

Action: Consider using journaling as a tool to help you understand your own money life and to help you make peace with your own money story.

 

  1. I finally asked for help. I had a huge assumption running through me that said ‘I should be able to do this. I am supposed to be the expert, if I ask for help people will think I’m a fraud’ (notice that fraud thing popping up again!). It kept me quietly and privately battling with my own demons. It also kept me very safely and frustratingly going around in circles. I’ve engaged a business coach. She’s very different from me and has a very different style but she has helped to plug a gap and has helped me to keep focused on moving forward in my business. Crazy as it now seems I imagined she was going to laugh at me and criticise me when in fact she said ‘Helen, what is stopping you, this sounds great!’ Hugely motivating.

Action

 

Action: Don’t be afraid to ask for the help that you need to move your business forward

 

  1. My biggest breakthrough of the year has undoubtedly been completing my 60th year on the planet, getting grand parented for the first time and discovering that both these are huge blessings rather than things to be feared! Bizarrely it has given me more focus in my business. I concentrate better. I don’t spend as much time drifting into the cyber world and amazingly have more time! Which means that when I am with my granddaughter I am truly with her, not thinking I should be doing something else.

Action

 

Action: Concentrate on the here and now and count your blessings.

 

Here’s to a prosperous and peaceful 2015.

 

About Helen Collier

Helen Collier is a money coach working with bright, smart women who are tired of squirming with dread and fear about their money. She trained with the Money Coaching Institute in California. Helen developed Harmoney as a direct response to her growing disquiet that something was out of balance in the financial world. She set an intention to play her part by supporting people to put money in its rightful place in their lives, no more, no less. Helen writes a weekly column for the Yorkshire Evening News and blogs regularly.

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You can follow Helen on:

Twitter: www.twitter.com/harmoneylife

Facebook: www.facebook.com/harmoneylife

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/helencollier

Website: www.harmoneylife.co.uk

 

“Dear money, thank you for . . . .”

 in Guest Post  tagged belief / coach / finance / grateful / Helen Collier / money / thank you

In today’s guest post coach Helen Collier shares a personal thank you ….

“Dear money, thank you for . . . .” By Helen Collier

“Dear money, thank you for . . . .”

By Helen Collier

Yesterday, just before I sat down to write this blog post, a prompt dropped into my inbox. It asked ‘If you were to write a thank you letter to money what would you say?’

What an intriguing question. What would I say? Would it be like one of those countless letters I wrote to my aunts thanking them for the talcum powder, done out of duty rather than real appreciation? What on earth would I say to money if I was thanking it. Here’s what I said:

Dear Money

I’m writing this to say thank you for all the great gifts you’ve given me over the years.

I can’t remember you at all for the first few years of my life. You must have been there, no matter how much or how little.

Then the memories start to return.

In my early years there wasn’t a lot of you around. I’m not sure at what point I began to notice this. The people around me all seemed to have the same amount of money. Or did they? There was a fear in the background. (How will we manage? You’ve not paid your stamp! I do my best! There’s a baby on the way.)

All hazy thoughts of the messages that seemed to relate to you. But what were you doing? You were just there. Sometimes more of you (my horse has come in), sometimes less of you (there’s never enough). And here I am.

I have such lovely memories of you. You bought us treats on Saturday night. It was amazing what we could get for 5 shillings (25p) to satisfy the sweet tooth of 5 children and 2 adults. Walnut whip, sherbet lemons, pear drops, chocolate éclairs. You were always there for those Saturday Nights. Thanks for the memories and the tastes.

You felt wonderful as someone passed a piece of you to me on that Whit Sunday Walk. I pushed you into the palm of my hand inside my glove. As the walk continued my glove filled up with money.

I can feel it now. Too much money for a little girl to hold in her hand alone.

When did I realise I could trade you for an Ice Cream and that it could taste so good? When did I move from saying to the second person that gave me a coin,

‘It’s all right I’ve got one already’(how sweet),

to getting really excited and wondering when I’d get the next one, in anticipation of that ice cream? (How greedy) Was it you that was different or was it me as I learned my money dance? Money gets you things (shouldn’t want things). Money, you were just there, sometimes less of you sometimes more of you. Thank you for the delicious ice cream!

The way you slipped into the little charity envelopes, one coin into each of the seven pockets. I loved the feel (money’s tight, there’s not enough). But there you were and there was I and this was helping the children of Africa (good girl).

Thank you money for simply feeling so lovely and snug in those envelope pockets.

In teenage years I began to see that some people had more than others (There’s those that have and those that don’t. We don’t. Can’t change it. That’s how it is. Mustn’t want things, Make do, Must pay your way).

Such shame that I had a second hand uniform. Such shame that I felt shame that I had a second hand uniform (What about the children in Africa?). Such shame that children in Africa didn’t even have a school uniform. Where were you then? You were there, and I was there, and the children in Africa were there.

Do you know money, I need to say a heartfelt thank you for being there in my life – no matter how much, no matter how little, no matter what.

On my way to financial independence, saving for my first ‘grown up’ holiday. One envelope for each expense. One for the travel, one for the B and B, one for spending, one for food. Sixteen by now and I still loved the play part of money. The ordering it, sorting it, anticipation of something good to come. Pride that I was earning and saving it myself. Yet more experiences and learning. Thank you money.

That was the early years and then I got big! It was harder to see you as simply being there. It was easier to adsorb the messages that surrounded you.

People like us don’t have money. If you have money you’re not like us. The only way a working man can get any money is a win on the pools. You have to work hard for your money.

A confusion of messages

Do well. I want more for you. Work to be worthy. Don’t accept gifts of money. Don’t deserve it. If you’ve got money then you’re not us.

More guilt, more shame, more battles, more rebellion. Where were you money? You were just there in different amounts in different places. Thank you money for being there in my life.

In the last few years I’ve been doing more learning and leaning on you. Thank you for being there to support me. There’s still lots to disentangle and I’m seeing more and more that you are simply there as people weave their stories around you. I’m seeing you as a money maypole around which we all dance. With different levels of money, skill, knowledge, understanding, emotion and awareness. Hence the knots, clumps and tangles. Our practical, emotional and spiritual messes around the maypole money.

You’ve been caught and tied up by my mind, my heart and my soul. You’ve tolerated the distortions I’ve woven around you. Thank you for being there no matter how much, no matter how little.

Thank you for continuing to let me dismantle the knots I’ve tied around you so that you can take up your rightful place in my life, no more, no less. Just there.

Helen

X

The prompt came from me! It is one of my ‘Money Prompts to your Inbox’ series. I wasn’t expecting it to land just at that moment! There it was right in front of me, it just seemed right and ripe for this blog.

Writing that letter, this week, showed me just what progress I have made personally in getting money into its rightful place in my life, no more, no less.

As a money coach I help clients explore their relationship with money so they too can begin to untie the knots they’ve created around money and give money its rightful place, no more, no less.

So, use it how you will and maybe write that letter yourself. I’d love to hear about it.

About Helen Collier

Helen Collier is a money coach working with clients around money issues, focusing on relationship and money. She trained with the Money Coaching Institute in California. Helen developed Harmoney as a direct response to her growing disquiet that something was out of balance in the financial world. She set an intention to play her part by supporting people to put money in its rightful place in their lives, no more, no less. Helen writes a weekly column for the Yorkshire Evening News and blogs regularly.

If you want to get free prompts to your inbox for the next month sign up here

You can follow Helen on:

Twitter: www.twitter.com/harmoneylife

Facebook: www.facebook.com/harmoneylife

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/helencollier

Website: www.harmoneylife.co.uk

 

 

If money was your lover how would you describe your relationship? 2

 in Guest Post  tagged clients / emotion / finance / Harmoney life / Helen Collier / money / money coach

In today’s guest post money coach Helen Collier shares some of her experience and knowledge on a topic that can be a stumbling block for coaches (and their clients):

"If money was your lover how would you describe your relationship?" A guest post By Helen Collier

If money was your lover how would you describe your relationship?

By Helen Collier

I often ask groups this question. It usually causes embarrassed laughter. Then responses start to come. Delivered boldly or as aside mutterings,

  • ‘In separate rooms’,
  • ‘Solid’
  • ‘Divorced’
  • ‘Tense’
  • ‘Comfortable’

and so they go on.

We all have a relationship with money which others may puzzle over, criticise or admire. Some of us have more money than others. Some of us spend what we haven’t got. Some of us hoard and refuse to spend even on the essentials.

Money and emotions run deep

Recently I heard Sir Bob Geldorf describing a time in his life when he had very little money and although he is now a successful, wealthy business man he said ‘I can’t escape the panic that I’m back there’

It’s not unusual for me to meet people who say

  • “I earn loads of money and I’m broke”
  • “I thought I was doing all the right things and I know the universe will provide but the money isn’t coming, what am I doing wrong?”
  • “I just hate spending money, I get a dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach”

Beneath these statements lay deeper feelings and emotions, often rooted somewhere in earlier experiences.

We all have a personal money story which charts the way money has shown up throughout our lives. As children we learn lessons about money. Quite often many of the lessons aren’t about anything anyone directly set out to teach us. When we are very young we are powerless to have much influence over what happens in our family around money. We make our own sense of what can be a very confusing and contradictory world and we can carry that sense on into our adult lives.

My mentor Deborah Price of the Money Coaching Institute would say that Money is a core survival issue. Woven into the fabric of that £10 note in our purses and wallets are a myriad of beliefs, emotions and reactions which far out weigh the actual monetary value. Am I worth it? Is there enough? Am I enough?

It’s my view that not enough of us have taken the time to really look at money and how it shows up in our lives.

So let’s start now and share some thoughts on this blog.

Here’s that question again and a few more

If money was your lover how would you describe your relationship?

As coaches what sort of issues arise for your clients around money?

How grounded do you feel in relation to money?

What work have you done on your own issues around money, so you’re in a clearer and cleaner place to support your clients?

About Helen Collier

My work as a money coach grew from a growing disquiet before the financial crisis that there was something amiss in the world of money and it wasn’t just £’s and pence. Seeing what was happening in the financial world, a growing reliance on credit and a sense that we could have everything now left me feeling uncomfortable and led me to explore more about the emotional side of money. I trained with the Money Coaching Institute in California to become an accredited money coach. I now work with clients from the inside out, facilitating an understanding of how their past is showing up in their present and, armed with that knowledge, coaching them as they transform their money lives. If you want to contact me click here

Connect with Helen via:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HarmoneyLife

Linked in:uk.linkedin.com/in/helencollier/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Harmoney/324194636947?fref=ts

Access one of Helen’s free webinars on Money Types at http://www.survivedandthrived.com/Money-Quiz/