Frederique Murphy


TED Talk Tuesday 6th December 2016

This week’s TED Talk clip is from an independent TEDx event:
The success formula to drive extraordinary change | Frederique Murphy | TEDxTallaght

Ever felt like a change but not sure how to drive it? In this raw, personal and passionate talk, mindset strategist Frederique Murphy shares with you how, at the worst time of her life, she stumbled upon a success formula that led her to extraordinary change. She uses science to help you create a winning neural pathway in your brain, so that you too can hit the jackpot!

Clip length: 9 mins 17 secs

Prefer to watch via YouTube? In that case you’ll need to click here.

Frederique has been a regular guest poster here on this blog for many years. To read some of her previous guest posts click here


Expectations: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!

In this week’s guest post experienced coach Frederique Murphy shares:

Expectations: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!

By Frederique Murphy

"Expectations: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!" By Frederique Murphy

Ever wondered why you feel pain when you don’t meet a goal? or Why you feel good when you do? or Why you feel so good when you reach more? Beyond the rationality of these 3 scenarios, and of course understanding why you would feel pain when not reaching something or feel good when reaching it, there is an actual neuroscientific explanation to what is going on.

When any of these 3 things happen – and you know that these happen all the times, both to you and your clients, in your life, career, business – your brain releases or withdraws dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter, produced in the brain, primarily involved in motivation and reward. When it releases dopamine, you feel good; when it withdraws it, you feel pain. The more your brain releases dopamine, the more you want to keep going and experience it over and over again.

When it comes to you or your clients not meeting, meeting or exceeding something, dopamine plays a huge role. And, all 3 scenarios are linked to the same one thing: EXPECTATIONS.

Expectations are what we think, or hope, is most likely to happen, and whether or not we realise it, we actually have expectations about everything. Let’s break down these 3 scenarios and see what happen when….

  • …your or your coachee’s expectations aren’t met: you or they experience a fall of dopamine; it feels painful,
  • …your or your coachee’s expectations are met: you or they experience a boost of dopamine; it feels good,
  • …your or your coachee’s expectations are exceeded: you or they experience a super boost of dopamine; it feels super good.

As coaches, I believe that the gap between unconscious expectations and conscious expectations is where our potential lies. Work with your clients to help them become aware of their unconscious expectations; this will help them manage their expectations better, and in turn they’ll gain a better control of their dopamine releases throughout the day, thus increasing their motivation.

How will you use this knowledge to better manage your expectations? And, your clients’ ones? I’d love for you to share; this will be helpful for the other coaches. Comment below!

About Frederique Murphy

Frederique MurphySpecialising in Inspirational Leadership, Frederique Murphy is a mindset strategist who inspires leaders to believe and accomplish the extraordinary. With her Mountain Moving Mindset (M3) platform, she equips you with scientifically-based strategies to take your life, career and business to a whole new level: she makes change happen. With over 15 years of experience in corporate change and expertise in positive psychology, neuroscience and behaviour change, she helps your organisation reap the benefits of tapping into the power of the mind. Frederique is a passionate and charismatic speaker, who captivates audiences – when she takes to the stage, sparks fly and beliefs, attitudes and behaviours will be instilled to create lasting change. For more information on Frederique’s transformational services, visit FrederiqueMurphy.com.

Connect with Frederique on Social Media

 

 

 


5 Questions To Ask When Silence Sets In

In this week’s guest post experienced coach Frederique Murphy shares:

5 Questions To Ask When Silence Sets In

By Frederique Murphy

"5 Questions To Ask When Silence Sets In" By Frederique Murphy

Here you are: ready, as your session with your next client is coming up and as per your usual process after having established rapport, you jump in and ask: So, what would you like to focus on today? or something similar, a question that helps you kick-start the session and get your client talking about what they would like to be focusing on today. And, then, the silence sets in…

Depending on your experience, this is a scenario that may either be familiar or odd to you, and over the years of coaching, while I agree that it might sound odd, it does in fact happen; particularly when your client has invested in one of your multisession coaching packages and you coach them on a regular basis. There will be times when they show up and it’d seem that they have nothing.

Here are 5 suggested questions to use when your client comes up with ‘nothing’ at the start of a session, so that you, when it happens, will be ready and able to serve them as you lead the session:

  • What is the greatest thing that has happened to you this week in your life/career?

+

  • What can you do today and onwards to ensure that this thing happens again?
  • What is preventing you from having already achieved X [insert client’s top goal]?
  • If X [insert client top’s block, e. money, time, age, qualifications…] was not a hindrance for you, what would you do?
  • What would you change if you had a magic wand?
  • Visualise… it is 12/24/36 months ahead and everything is perfect: you’ve achieved all of your goals!!! What do you see, hear, feel, taste and smell?

+

  • [Extract achievements and ask] How have you achieved it?

Any of these – and do trust that you, as the coach, will know which one to go for, will help you coach your client – even when they say ‘nothing’ at the start of the session, so that you can serve your client and continue delivering benefits to guide them forward in their life, career or business.

Do you already have your own set of questions to use when your client comes up with ‘nothing’ during a session? Which questions do you find work best for you? I’d love for you to share; this will be helpful for the other coaches. Comment below!

About Frederique Murphy

Frederique MurphyIt’s hard to thrive as an organisation when your employees’ mindset is letting you all down. Mindset is what sets your organisation apart – it is THE factor in determining your success. Frederique Murphy provides individuals, corporate executives, and entrepreneurs with a wealth of mountain moving mindset resources to help them become the true leaders of their life, career and business. She is a mindset strategist who specialises in Inspirational Leadership. By equipping you with inspiration and scientifically-based strategies, she instils beliefs, attitudes and behaviours to create lasting change. With over 15 years of experience in corporate change and expertise in positive psychology, neuroscience and behaviour change, she helps your organisation reap the benefits of tapping into the power of the mind. For more information on Frederique’s transformational range, visit FrederiqueMurphy.com, join the free M3 Power Community, and start climbing now!

Connect with Frederique on Social Media

Twitter: https://twitter.com/IrishSmiley

LinkedIn:  http://www.linkedin.com/in/frederiquemurphy

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FrederiqueMurphyM3

Google+: https://www.google.com/+FrederiqueMurphy

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/irishsmiley/


Step Up As A Coach By Leveraging Your Weaknesses 1

Mindset strategist Frederique Murphy returns in today’s guest post to share some thoughts around a common belief many coaches have:

Step Up As A Coach By Leveraging Your Weaknesses

By Frederique Murphy

"Step Up As A Coach By Leveraging Your Weaknesses" By Frederique Murphy

As a coach, working with other coaches and professionals in the service industry, such as consultants, speakers, trainers, and also corporate executives, I hear, and coach clients on this one belief that comes up again and again: “I must be perfect in order to help others.”

Can you relate?

I know that this is something that I once believed, and still from time to time, I’m reminded of it, usually when I am about to step up to a higher level.

Before we continue, let’s be clear on a few things:

  • this belief is not true,
  • this belief is what we call a “limiting belief”, as in holding onto it limits you, your capabilities, and your overall success, and
  • believing this is not abnormal: you are not the only one, who has ever believed in this.

I’d even go so far as to say that believing in this belief shows what type of coach you are, and that it is a rite of passage, and one that you can let go of when you are ready to step up. You see, when you believe in this, I see that you care, and you care for your clients, wanting to serve them to the best of your abilities. And, what I want to show you is that by tweaking that belief, you will care even more, and you will serve your clients even more.

Here is what we are going to do: we are going to imagine that you are perfect, and see how it is working for you.

As a perfect coach, when a client needs you, you can draw on your expertise to coach them. You know what technique will work, which pattern to use, what tool to leverage. And, yes, it will probably work.

But, I have a question for you: What makes your approach any different from any other perfect coach out there, who more than likely would pick the same technique, the same pattern, the same tool?
The answer is nothing.

So, how do YOU stand out?

You stand out thanks to your imperfections.

Let me explain…
Your imperfection makes you you; it enables you to connect at a deeper level with your clients. You see, what you once saw as weaknesses – for instance, when you failed at something, or tried to do something many times before you finally succeeded, actually is called experience.

And, experience makes you stand out.

There is nothing short of beautiful that happens when you combine both your expertise and your experience.

Because as a coach, when something happens to you, you, more than anyone else out there, learn from it, and will find a way to leverage this experience to work for you.

So that, when you are coaching this client, and he or she has this specific issue that you actually had too as you experienced that challenge too, yes, you will know, what technique will work, which pattern to use, what tool to leverage, AND you will be able to add your personal experience, because you’ve been there. In that instant, the connection with your client becomes stronger, and the coaching smoother and more impactful.

What you once saw as weaknesses can now be seen as strengths.

Strengths that will help you stand out and step up as a coach.

What do you think? What weaknesses of yours can you transform into wonderful strengths to assist you in your coaching? I’d love for you to share; this will be helpful for the other coaches. Comment below (and, you’ll see I’ve commented first, sharing some of my personal weaknesses)!

About Frederique Murphy

Frederique MurphyFrederique Murphy is a mindset strategist, who specialises in the areas of Inspirational Strategy, Leadership, Communication, Change, Impact, and Achievement. Thanks to her Mountain Moving Mindset platform, Frederique provides individuals, corporate executives, and entrepreneurs with a wealth of mindset resources to help them strategise with vision, design with clarity, act with focus, and lead with momentum.

She shares her M3 Power through her transformational range of innovative products, coaching services, #1 Amazon Best Seller book, award-winning blog, articles and newsletters, unforgettable keynotes and talks, and life-changing events. She believes in guiding her clients through unforgettable journeys towards their own true wealth as they become the true leaders of their life, career and business. For more information on Frederique’s transformational range, visit FrederiqueMurphy.com, join the free M3 Power Community, and start climbing now!

Connect with Frederique via:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/IrishSmiley

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/frederiquemurphy

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FrederiqueMurphyM3

Google+: https://www.google.com/+FrederiqueMurphy

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/irishsmiley/


8 C.O.A.C.H.I.N.G. Mindset Success Strategies To Boost Your Success! 1

In today’s guest post Frederique Murphy, shares some of her expertise and thoughts around how to have a successful coaching business.
"8 C.O.A.C.H.I.N.G. Mindset Success Strategies To Boost Your Success!" A guest post  by Frederique Murphy

8 C.O.A.C.H.I.N.G. Mindset Success Strategies To Boost Your Success!

by Frederique Murphy

COACH… It is one of those words, isn’t it? Judging by the 577 million results obtained when keying the word in Google, it is something that’s definitely at the top of a lot of people’s minds!

So, how will YOU, as a coach, stand out from the crowd?

One answer. One word: MINDSET.

And, yes, MINDSET is also one of those BIG words!

I believe that your mindset drives every single thing that you do in life, and in the way that you lead yourself, your career, your business. We all have a mindset, the only difference (and, that is the one that makes the difference) is how strong and powerful yours is; your mindset is what sets you, as coaches, apart. It is THE factor that will determine how outstanding – or how average – your coaching business results are.

I know that you know that; but, what I also know is that as coaches we know these for our clients; we focus our energy and our strategies towards our clients, and it is common to forget to apply these to ourselves.

There are many mindset success strategies and I have selected 8 of them for you to focus on, using the word coaching as a mnemonic!

=> C <=

Clarity, Be clear on what you want to achieve for yourself and your coaching business.

=> O <=

Obstacles, Face and push through to overcome.

=> A <=

Action, Take actions to move forward.

=> C <=

Comfort, Step out and stretch to grow.

=> H <=

Help, Ask for help.

=> I <=

I as in you, Choose your attitude.

=> N <=

Network, Surround yourself wisely.

=> G <=

Get results, You are the key to your success, 100% responsible for your results.

Here you have them!

I’m sure that these look familiar or even too simple. BUT, do not disregard them because “they sound too easy”! These are powerful, and the power lies with you: ask yourself: do I apply this strategy daily, do I live by it, do I lead by it, and do I run my coaching business by it? You want to answer all 3 with a resounding YES for maximum impact.

These mindset strategies are powerful.

When you actually apply them, AND, when you do it consistently.

Which one of these will you apply today to boost your success? I’d love for you to share; this will be helpful for the other coaches. Comment below!

About Frederique Murphy

Frederique MurphyFrederique Murphy is a mindset strategist, who specialises in the areas of Inspirational Strategy, Leadership, Communication, Change, Impact, and Achievement. Thanks to her Mountain Moving Mindset platform, Frederique provides individuals, corporate executives, and entrepreneurs with a wealth of mindset resources to help them strategise with vision, design with clarity, plan with focus, and lead with momentum. She shares her M3 Power through her transformational range of innovative products, coaching services, #1 Amazon Best Seller book, award-winning blog, articles and newsletters, unforgettable talks and life-changing events. She believes in guiding her clients through unforgettable journeys towards their own true wealth as they become the true leaders of their life, career and business. For more information on Frederique’s transformational range, visit FrederiqueMurphy.com, join the free M3 Power Community, and start climbing now!


15 Suggestions To Help You Create A Post-Session Ritual

Frederique Murphy shares her knowledge and experience in today’s guest post.

"15 Suggestions To Help You Create A Post-Session Ritual" A guest post by Frederique Murphy

15 Suggestions To Help You Create A Post-Session Ritual

By Frederique Murphy

You know, how you prepare yourself for your first coaching session of the day, right? Because, you know, how important it is to be at your top to best help your client. So, has it ever happened to you that your energy winds down from one client to another, leaving you with the feeling that you were not quite at your top, for that second, third or fourth client? If you are booking several clients on the same day, and do not do anything between your sessions, then this is probably a familiar feeling.

Creating rituals as part of your coaching business is a great best practice as rituals help you perform better. We often hear about pre-session rituals, and the post-session rituals are as important. Having a post-session ritual is absolutely critical, particularly when coaching several clients on the same day to ensure you are at your top for your first client, and then your second one, and your third one, etc.

I don’t believe there is a ‘one size fits all’ post-session ritual; I strongly believe that you need to create the ritual that will work for you. Before you start creating your ritual, I suggest you list the various outcomes, so that you are very clear on what is it that you want to achieve: clear your energy, relax, focus, energise, be present, let go…, and then, include the necessary steps. Remember, it is your ritual, and will include as many steps as you need it to meet your defined outcomes.

Here are 15 suggestions to create your very own post-session ritual that will help you be at your top, from one client to another throughout the day:

  • (the must one!) your ritual will work best when you intentionally take the time to do it, so avoid booking your sessions back-to-back, and ensure you have the time to apply your ritual,
  • consciously breathe,
  • meditate,
  • visualise,
  • practice a yoga sequence,
  • drink a large glass of water,
  • prepare a cup of tea,
  • light a candle or incense,
  • open the room windows and/or doors,
  • say a specific affirmation,
  • play a specific song,
  • do a specific move,
  • look at a specific imagery,
  • change outfit or accessories,
  • take a shower (you might not include this suggestion as part of your standard ritual, but do keep it in mind for those “intense” sessions).

Once you have created your ritual, apply it every single time, after every coaching session, and even after your last session of the day. A ritual is driven by intention, so focus on that intention, and apply your ritual to be at your top, client after client.

Do you already have your own post-session ritual? What steps do you find work best for you? I’d love for you to share; this will be helpful for the other coaches. Comment below!

About the Author/Further Resources

Frederique MurphyFrederique Murphy is a mindset strategist, who specialises in the areas of Inspirational Strategy, Leadership, Communication, Change, Impact, and Achievement. Thanks to her Mountain Moving Mindset platform, Frederique provides individuals, corporate executives, and entrepreneurs with a wealth of mindset resources to help them strategise with vision, design with clarity, plan with focus, and lead with momentum. She shares her M3 Power through her transformational range of innovative products, coaching services, #1 Amazon Best Seller book, award-winning blog, articles and newsletters, unforgettable talks and life-changing events. She believes in guiding her clients through unforgettable journeys towards their own true wealth as they become the true leaders of their life, career and business. For more information on Frederique’s transformational range, visit FrederiqueMurphy.com, join the free M3 Power Community, and start climbing now!


What to do when encountering challenging situations with your coaching clients! 1

Coach Frederique Murphy shares her experience and thoughts in today’s guest post.

What to do when encountering challenging situations with your coaching clients!

by Frederique Murphy

This is my fifth guest blog post, and as with every blog posts, I thrive to tackle topics that might not necessarily be often tackled! Earlier this year, when Jen and I discussed the dates for my blog posts, I told her that I knew exactly what my final 2012 blog post would be, and here it is! In this article, I want to talk about, the events when you, as the coach, encounter some challenging situations with your coaching clients.

After close to 5 years of coaching, I can say that I have encountered all of these; and, yes, I am saying it out loud, and publically: it is actually rare for coaches to talk about these situations, even though, they happen. I want to break that pattern, and help you through these. I believe that these situations have either happened to you, or might happen in the future as you continue to stretch and grow yourself and your coaching practice. I also want to say upfront that in most cases, these situations are not a negative reflection of your coaching services. But, as these are often unspoken, when they happen, many coaches feel it was their fault and go into a shame/guilt/unworthy destructive cycle.

So, let’s openly talk about these, and see how we can shift and move forward.

Challenging situation #1

Your coaching client does not “show up”.

And, I don’t mean physically! You know, when they sign up to your coaching programme, and, somehow, don’t “show up”; they might arrive late to your sessions, they might not listen to your programme classes, they might not read your emails, they might not open your attachments, they might not reply to you, etc, etc, etc; these type of things. You know, as the coach, that showing up and playing fully is critical to their success; your coaching programme might be one of the best programmes out there, and yet, it will not do anything for them if they don’t utilised it. It is a challenging situation, as you know that they are not utilising the programme, and know they would get even more out of it, should they do, of course.

So, what do you do? Address it with them, and I suggest to invite them to an additional session (I’d not address this during one of their coaching sessions), but keep it separate and frame the session to find out how they are getting on. There will be 3 scenarios:

  • you address it, ask how they are doing, and (prepare to be surprised), they tell you they are satisfied with the coaching programme! => key lesson: you are not them, and if they are satisfied with what they are getting, then let it be, they are getting what it is they want; your conversation is a good platform to remind them of the various components and encourage them to utilise them to get the best of your programme, that way you’ve reached out to them and reminded them of what is available to them,
  • you address it, ask how they are doing, and (prepare to be surprised), they tell you they are satisfied with the coaching programme, but in fact, they are not! => key lesson: you’ve reached out to them, and, asked what you could do to ensure they would get a satisfied experience, and they, for whatever reason, lie to you; fast forward a bit, and they will soon end their relationship with you, unless, you take charge first, and realise you are not happy working with clients who are not showing up and playing fully, and you take the lead in ending the relationship; this is entirely up to you,
  • you address it, ask how they are doing, and they tell you they are not satisfied with the coaching programme => key lesson: you’ve reached out to them, and, you can now openly talk about it; discuss what is going on, and see if you can come up with ways to make it work; this is an important conversation, and you can turn things around, if both of you are up for it.

Challenging situation #2

Your client does not take actions.

This is a similar situation, as the first one. Here, something for you to be very clear about is that acting is 100% their responsibility; they will not get results if they don’t act, and you cannot guarantee them results, as you are not the ones taking the actions. So, it comes down to their actions

So, what do you do? Address it with them, and I suggest to invite them to an additional session (again here, I’d not address this during one of their coaching sessions), but keep it separate and frame the session to find out how they are getting on, and share your concerns with them. See where this conversation leads you; ultimately, it will once again be up to you, and you might be a coach, who is not happy working with clients not taking actions, and decide to end your relationship.

Challenging situation #3

Your coaching client does not like it when you push their buttons.

Another challenging situation, right? I want you to ask yourself: is pushing buttons part of your role as a coach? I believe it is, in fact, an integral part of your coaching; when something needs to come out but does not, you might need to make it come out and however way you will do it, it might cause the client to feel the heat; you are not their friend, you are their coach, and your outcome is to do whatever is needed to support them, and sometimes supporting them means to push some buttons to get them moving forward.

So, what do you do? Address it with them, and I suggest to invite them to an additional session (again here, I’d not address this during one of their coaching sessions), but keep it separate and frame the session to find out how they are getting on. This will enable you to openly discuss and see how your coaching client is, and to (re)share with them your role, values and practices. However way you do it, I want to strongly emphasise the fact that I believe you should not change your style to suit your clients. In my previous article Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who Is The Best Of Them All? I talked about coaching styles, and reminded you that “Your coaching style will be the best for some, and completely clash for others.” And this is what might be happening. During your conversation, you will either decide to make it work, or to end the relationship if you feel this is not going to work. Again here, it is entirely up to you.

Challenging situation #4

Your client expects ABC, and you give them XYZ.

This situation is another challenge in itself! When you are coaching your client, your key outcome is to coach them to the best of your ability. You come to their sessions, without any agenda. However, very often, your coaching client will come to their session with their agenda, their ABC. And, here is what happens; they want ABC, but, for whatever reason, they also come in with a bunch of “stuff”, and you, as the coach, make a judgement call, in tackling the stuff, as you professionally know that once it is tackled, it will make it easy to then move their focus onto ABC; so, you do, XYZ, as you feel, it is what will best support your coaching client in that session. The thing is, they don’t know what’s going on, they are not trained as coaches, so from their point of view, they’ll see things as wanting to get ABC, but getting XYZ instead; and it might well have been that XYZ created huge shifts and breakthroughs, but, it was not ABC, bottom line, they did not get what that wanted.

So, what do you do? In this case, I believe, that instead of being a “what do you do?” question, it is actually a “what can you do post-session? question. Because, you did what you decided was best at the time of the session, so now, it is looking into the post-session follow-up to ensure your client remains satisfied. It has happened to me a couple of times, and should these scenarios happen again, I would do exactly the same things, as in, do the XYZ first and then, deliver a post-session action to ensure you address the ABC.

The BIG silver lining!

While these situations are challenging to face, I actually believe that experiencing these scenarios will make you a stronger coach, as each of these will be beneficial to your growth. You will learn from each of these, and if necessary, refine some of your internal and external processes, that will make your practice stronger too. Now, for this to happen, and for you to be able to view these situations as something positive along your journey, you need to ensure that as these happen, you discuss them with your own coach, so that he/she can help you through these. This is very important.

This is not an exhaustive list, and the recommendations I am giving are the ones that have worked for me; but there are plenty of other ways to tackle these challenging situations. Remember, the key thing is that you should do whatever you think is best for you and your client; I truly believe that facing these situations head on is the best first step. Be proud of who you are as a coach, and stand by your practice.

Have you ever encountered one of these 4 challenging situations with your coaching clients? What did you do? I’d love for you to share, this will be so helpful for other coaches. Comment below!

About the Author/Further Resources

Frederique MurphyFrederique Murphy (@IrishSmiley on twitter) is a mindset strategist, who founded her business to focus on her passion: transformation! Thanks to her Mountain Moving Mindset programme, Frederique empowers individuals, corporate executives and business owners to master their mindset, so that they can move mountains and bring their life, career and business to a whole new level! She shares her M3 Power through her coaching & mentoring packages, her published books & articles, her award-winning blog and newsletters, and her unique live events. For more information on Frederique’s transformational range of products and services, visit FrederiqueMurphy.com, get your free M3 Power, and start climbing now!


Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who Is The Best Of Them All? 1

Coach Frederique Murphy shares her expertise and knowledge in today’s guest post as she asks:

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who Is The Best Of Them All?

by Frederique Murphy

As coaches, I think that it is very important for each of us to know our coaching style, and I mean, to really to know it. Knowing your coaching style inside-out will enable you to optimise your coaching abilities, and as a result, maximise your results with your clients.

What is interesting, is while there have been some coaching styles, identified in previous researches, white papers, studies, my view is that there are as many coaching styles as there are stars in the sky, and each style has its weaknesses and strengths. You see, each of you have your own style; you are your very own individual, and as a coach, this is reflected in your way of being, you way of doing, your way of acting, your way of working: in a nutshell, your coaching style.

As coaches, we have all learned how to be coaches, and, I believe that — no matter, what course, qualification, certification, diploma, degree…, you’ve undertaken — our very own unique coaching style, while existing from the very first session, will continue to grow throughout our coaching career, as we continue to learn, stretch and grow as individuals.

So, do increase your awareness and find out as much as you can, about your coaching style; the more you consciously know about it, the best relationships and results you will get and the more apt you will be in conveying your methods and ways to your leads and clients.

(Note, it would be impossible to do a thorough list, so this is not an exhaustive list!)

Do you talk?

Do you ask questions?

Do you interrupt?

Do you use humour?

Do you use authority?

Do you speak firmly?

Do you give tough love?

Do you shock?

Do you push?

Do you nudge?

Do you guide?

Do you recommend?

Do you hold accountability?

etc, etc, etc…

As coaches, we mostly do all of these; the differences, depending on your coaching style, is in the “How much?”:

How much do you talk?

How much do you ask questions?

How much do you interrupt?

How much do you use humour?

How much do you use authority?

How much do you speak firmly?

How much do you give tough love?

How much do you shock?

How much do you push?

How much do you nudge?

How much do you guide?

How much do you recommend?

How much do you hold accountability?

etc, etc, etc…

And, know that your coaching style will not suit everyone. And I am not using the word everyone as in everyone in the world, I also mean, as in, everyone, within your focused and targeted audience.

For instance, if you target male adults, who are transitioning out of their “9-5 job” and moving to entrepreneurship, while this audience shows that you have a targeted audience, still, be ready, that all of the people who match this description will not, and I am going to use a word, you might not like, will not like you as their coach.

Accept this and move forward; the happier, more fulfilled, more satisfied your relationship is with your clients, the best they are getting from you, and this shows that your style is suiting them.

There are several processes and systems you can have in place in your coaching practice, to try as much as possible to find these good matches. The reason why I use the word try is that I believe that there is not a way to know at 100% before starting coaching a client, if this is going to be a good match. I also believe, that as you go from new to the coaching world to becoming an experienced coach, you will get close to that 100%. There are a few things you can do: before starting working together, and before your first coaching session, have a conversation, where you will be able to ask questions; you can also, request for your prospective client to fill in a questionnaire. Having both the conversation and the questionnaire, will give you a lot of answers, even before starting working together. And, once you start, remember, to have the necessary documentation in place, from contract and terms and conditions, to frames and well defined outcomes.

But, I hear you say, “but I want to help them all!”

Here is what you can do: first, and preferably, do not, this will not end well, for both you, and the client you took on; second, sometimes, no matter what filters you use, this will happen, and as you are very well aware of your style, very soon in the relationship you will notice some signs, some behaviours, that will indicate to you, that the relationship is not working. As coaches, our main primary intent, is for the client to get what they need, right? And, sometimes, as hard as it may sound, it is up to the coach, you, to realise that you might not be what they need.

When this happens, refer your client to another coach. Remember, another coach, will have a different style, and that style might suit your client better. One thing, I want to add: it is not because you do not like other styles, that you should avoid referring clients to other coaches, with different coaching styles; I know it might read funny, at first, but think about it. You more than likely coach the way you would personally like to be coached, but do not let your own needs shadow your judgement and your client might absolutely love this other coach, while, you would more than likely not, see what I mean? Have your client’s best interest at heart, and refer to the best coach for them.

So, remember:

Your coaching style will be the best for some, and completely clash for others.

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who Is The Best Of Them All?

You, my coach, are the best of all.

BUT, You are not a one size fits all.

About the Author/Further Resources

Frederique Murphy is a business mindset strategist, who founded her business to focus on her passion: transformation! Thanks to her Mountain Moving Mindset programme, Frederique empowers business owners, entrepreneurs, and corporate executives to master their mindset, so that they can move mountains and bring their life and their business to a whole new level! She shares her M3 Power through her coaching and mentoring packages, her published books & articles, her award-winning blog and newsletters, and her unique live events. For more information on Frederique’s transformational range of products and services, visit FrederiqueMurphy.com, get your free M3 Power, and start climbing now!