experience


A Challenge Every Coach Faces… and what to do about it

In today’s guest post Ling Wong shares some of her experience and knowledge as a business and marketing coach:

A Challenge Every Coach Faces… and what to do about it

By Ling Wong

"A Challenge Every Coach Faces… and what to do about it" by Ling Wong

 

As ‪coaches and mentors, how much are we “diagnosing” our clients’ problems through the lens of the tools/skills we possess?

And by doing so, while we are offering a solution, are we in a way limiting our clients’ possibilities?

When I was working on my Sacred Money Archetype Coach Training, I interpreted many things that came up for my clients through the lens of money mindset. When I was getting my Fear Releasing Method certification, seemingly every problem’s root cause was fear.

While my clients were getting great results, I felt we might not have seen the problem in its entirety if I were to stick with just one particular tool or method.

We are all human. Having a point of view is inevitable, and probably desirable (especially if you are looking to position yourself uniquely in the marketplace.)

The challenge comes in when the nature of a coaching or mentoring relationship somewhat puts us in a position of being an “authority” (again, it’s not a bad thing. From a marketing perspective, we want to be seen as an expert or an authority. From a coaching perspective, clients DO want to be lead to a certain extant.)

Which means OUR point of view is going to impact the clients’ decisions and actions, therefore, the outcome.

(We don’t have to look far… I have worked with many clients who had hired business coaches or taken those $1,997 or $3,997 programs only to find themselves being squeezed through an “agenda”, and spat out of the “guru factory line.”  They got themselves into the “niche pickle,” building out business structure and going down a rabbit hole they have no business to be in.)

We can probably guide our clients to achieve an outcome that is “desirable” from an objective point of view. The question I want to pose is whether that is an outcome that serves THAT particular client best? Is it most aligned with his/her core value, identity, beliefs etc.?

Here are a few thoughts on how we can mitigate this challenge:

  1. Cultivate Awareness

Let’s start with the assumption that there is no way around the fact that we have our own point of view.

The first step is to cultivate the awareness that we do bring our own filters into a coaching/mentoring relationship.

Our clients probably hire us because they resonate with our point of view and that’s why they want our guidance.

However, I believe when we are expressing our own opinions we can make it clear that it is our point of view and thus just one way to approach their challenges.

Our role is to expand our clients’ thinking and help them see their challenges from different perspectives, instead of (unintentionally) steering them into one particular decision or action that stems from our perspective.

  1. You Are Not Your Trainings and Certifications

A lot of times the way we approach a problem is determined by our skills and the tools we have at our disposal.

“If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”

It is important to not to let the “tools du jour” drive our coaching conversations. (More on It’s OK to Say Thank You and Now F*** Off To Your Trainings and Certifications)

Instead, what is the bigger message that drives your work? What is the identity you want to inspire your clients to take on? What beliefs you want to instill in your clients so they can achieve their goals in alignment with what’s true for them?

From there, what tools and methods can you apply, for your clients’ greatest good instead of a self-gratuitous way of using a tool just because you paid money to learn it?

  1. Lead with a Deeper, Bigger Message

Maybe it is about exploring a deeper message, so when we approach a challenge with a client, it’s not about finding a tool-driven solution but a identity/belief-driven solution that can encompasses multiple approaches and perspectives.

This may mean, for many of my multi-passionate and multi-talented peeps, is to gather all their skills, experience, talents, superpowers and ideas, tap into their beliefs and conviction, to device a cohesive message that transcends individual skills and tools.

By doing so, it gives you the framework and allows you the freedom to choose what new skills you want to learn, and what tools you want to add to your toolbox, without having to “redefine” what you do every time, or look like a Jack-of-all-trades.

This framework also acts as a filter so you can avoid the Bright Shiny Object Syndrome, and invest your time, money and effort on what truly matters to YOU.

By having this ONE cohesive message, you will not only be able to give your clients a more inclusive and expansive container to grow and explore, but you will also create more powerful marketing communication because of the clarity, conviction and confidence you achieve in your business.

>> Grab this free training to see how to turn ALL your big ideas into ONE cohesive message that sells.

About Ling Wong

Ling is an Intuitive Brainiac. Through her unique blend of Business + Marketing coaching with a Mindset + Psychic Twist, she helps the highly creative, intuitive, multi-talented and multi-passionate maverick solo-entrepreneurs distill ALL their big ideas into ONE cohesive Message, nail the WORDS that sell and design a Plan to cut the busywork and do what matters, through her intuitive yet rigorous iterative process born out of her Harvard Design School training and 10 years of experience in the online marketing industry.

Find Ling and grab her free “How to Find YOUR Winning Formula” Training Series at http://business-soulwork.com/ywf-free/

 


Coaching with metaphor

In today’s guest post leadership coach and organisation development consultant Nick Wright shares a real life coaching experience in:

Coaching with metaphor

By Nick Wright

"Coaching with metaphor" by Nick Wright

I’m in this room, it’s the first time we’ve met and this man is explaining to me how he’s struggling in a key relationship. It’s a relationship between two organisations and this man, Simon, is the leader of one of them. The conversation runs for a while and Simon’s description of the relationship and what he’s experiencing from the other – what he describes as distance and defensiveness – sounds tough.

As he speaks, I become aware that the room we’re in feels cold. It’s a sunny day and the aircon is turned up high. I glance around the room at the stark furniture. The tables and chairs are in perfect formation. Functional, straight lines. There’s nothing that suggests or reveals a human touch. No pictures, no plants, no photographs. This is the room where he meets with Sandra, leader of the other organisation.

I comment on this, share this observation, then offer a reflection, an idea: ‘How far are you trying to find a cold, formal solution to an issue that is essentially about human relationship and trust?’ Simon looks stunned for a moment, then pauses, then goes quiet. I’m wondering how he will respond. Could this be a (proverbial) light bulb moment? Is there something about this room that holds the key?

Then Simon speaks. ‘You know, I hadn’t realised it. We’ve built our relationship on formal lines – terms of reference, strategies, proposals – and we’ve never really taken the time to get to know and understand each other as people.’ A penny has dropped. I can see it in his eyes. I respond: ‘Do you know what you need to do?’ Simon nods and jots down a note. The meeting is finished. It lasts 10 minutes.

About Nick Wright

Nick Wright is a leadership coach and organisation development consultant. www.nick-wright.com. Twitter: @adeeperquestion


5 Questions To Ask When Silence Sets In

In this week’s guest post experienced coach Frederique Murphy shares:

5 Questions To Ask When Silence Sets In

By Frederique Murphy

"5 Questions To Ask When Silence Sets In" By Frederique Murphy

Here you are: ready, as your session with your next client is coming up and as per your usual process after having established rapport, you jump in and ask: So, what would you like to focus on today? or something similar, a question that helps you kick-start the session and get your client talking about what they would like to be focusing on today. And, then, the silence sets in…

Depending on your experience, this is a scenario that may either be familiar or odd to you, and over the years of coaching, while I agree that it might sound odd, it does in fact happen; particularly when your client has invested in one of your multisession coaching packages and you coach them on a regular basis. There will be times when they show up and it’d seem that they have nothing.

Here are 5 suggested questions to use when your client comes up with ‘nothing’ at the start of a session, so that you, when it happens, will be ready and able to serve them as you lead the session:

  • What is the greatest thing that has happened to you this week in your life/career?

+

  • What can you do today and onwards to ensure that this thing happens again?
  • What is preventing you from having already achieved X [insert client’s top goal]?
  • If X [insert client top’s block, e. money, time, age, qualifications…] was not a hindrance for you, what would you do?
  • What would you change if you had a magic wand?
  • Visualise… it is 12/24/36 months ahead and everything is perfect: you’ve achieved all of your goals!!! What do you see, hear, feel, taste and smell?

+

  • [Extract achievements and ask] How have you achieved it?

Any of these – and do trust that you, as the coach, will know which one to go for, will help you coach your client – even when they say ‘nothing’ at the start of the session, so that you can serve your client and continue delivering benefits to guide them forward in their life, career or business.

Do you already have your own set of questions to use when your client comes up with ‘nothing’ during a session? Which questions do you find work best for you? I’d love for you to share; this will be helpful for the other coaches. Comment below!

About Frederique Murphy

Frederique MurphyIt’s hard to thrive as an organisation when your employees’ mindset is letting you all down. Mindset is what sets your organisation apart – it is THE factor in determining your success. Frederique Murphy provides individuals, corporate executives, and entrepreneurs with a wealth of mountain moving mindset resources to help them become the true leaders of their life, career and business. She is a mindset strategist who specialises in Inspirational Leadership. By equipping you with inspiration and scientifically-based strategies, she instils beliefs, attitudes and behaviours to create lasting change. With over 15 years of experience in corporate change and expertise in positive psychology, neuroscience and behaviour change, she helps your organisation reap the benefits of tapping into the power of the mind. For more information on Frederique’s transformational range, visit FrederiqueMurphy.com, join the free M3 Power Community, and start climbing now!

Connect with Frederique on Social Media

Twitter: https://twitter.com/IrishSmiley

LinkedIn:  http://www.linkedin.com/in/frederiquemurphy

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FrederiqueMurphyM3

Google+: https://www.google.com/+FrederiqueMurphy

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/irishsmiley/


Coaching and Wisdom

In this weeks guest post experienced coach and trainer Liz Scott shares some of her personal experience about her journey as a coach.

Coaching and Wisdom

By Liz Scott

A guest post by Liz Scott

The other day a client sat beside me telling me he was stressed. He relayed stories of pressurised work, poor relationships and a tricky childhood. He had a myriad of thoughts, fears and worries and his life was at breaking point. In no uncertain terms he told me he wanted to be ‘fixed’. It was a compelling story and his impatience was palpable. He wanted some tools and strategies to find a quick solution.

The trouble is I don’t work like that any more. Although I have completed hundreds of hours of training and have a myriad of tools, techniques and theories; they are rarely used. Instead I draw on my understanding of something called the Three Principles.

The Three Principles has had a profound influence on my life (I feel more peaceful and relaxed) and I’m starting to share this understanding with my clients. It simplifies my coaching and helps me to focus on inner wisdom.

During this session with my client I noticed a deep feeling of love and compassion and I just kept bringing him back to recognising his own internal wisdom and spirit. Did he skip off into the sunset fired with enthusiasm? No he didn’t. Was this session a success? Yes it was.

The most useful thing we can tell our clients is about the nature of being human; the Three Principles provides the building blocks of understanding. When clients get a glimpse of this they start the most fulfilling journey possible. When they stop trying to fix their thoughts and circumstances they can taste real freedom.

The Three Principles points to the three components of our human experience. These are:

  • Thoughts: We all have thoughts and when we believe our thoughts that is our reality
  • Consciousness: We are all able to bring our world alive. We have the ability to experience an emotional and physical world
  • Mind: There is a spiritual/universal force that is behind life

When you view the Three Principles as a list you probably feel underwhelmed! When you start to experience them at work in your life it feels enriching.

I am still new as a 3P coach and my style may not be slick or clever, but it is authentic. When I get a sense of my spiritual wisdom I am able to share and respond from a grounded and loving space.

Liz Scott and Husband with Labradoodle Buzz

My new journey

If you’d like to learn more about the 3Ps then follow me on my journey (both metaphysical and real).Over the summer my husband and I are cycling from Devon to London and back (with our Labradoodle Buzz) to talk to authors and facilitators of the Three Principles. If you would like to learn more as we learn more then follow this link http://forms.aweber.com/form/58/1527998558.htm

 

About Liz Scott

Liz Scott Coaching and TrainingLiz Scott is a leadership coach and coaching skills trainer. She works extensively in schools helping to develop coaching cultures. Liz and her husband Stu run their business www.lizscottcoaching.com and they also the leaders of a supportive network for coaches www.coachingconnect.co.uk