connection


The Soulful Dance of Coaching: Nurturing Transformative Connections

This image has a black sillhute of a forest scene with a warm hazy background, as if at sunrise and the start of a new day. Sillhutes of three human figures are stood facing away from the viewer, as if watching the start of a new day. Written at the bottom of the image is the following text: "Great souls by instinct to each other turn,  Demand alliance, and in friendship burn" (Joseph Addison)

Today’s quote of the day is:

“Great souls by instinct to each other turn, Demand alliance, and in friendship burn” (Joseph Addison)

I think this quote resonated with me because it beautifully articulates the essence of deep connections. While its important to say at this stage that coaching is distinct from friendship, for me, there’s an undeniable resonance between these words and the profound experiences that coaching can cultivate.

Exploring the Indescribable:

Depending upon your style and approach, coaching can often delve into realms that challenge easy description. It’s an attempt to articulate the indescribable, a pursuit that might be deemed “woo-woo” by some. In this exploration, I invite you to ponder and recognize your own experiences, considering what draws you to coaching and what you seek in a coaching relationship, both as a coach and a client.

The Flame Within:

One of the enchanting moments in coaching is when a client connects with their “soul” — the instant when they come alive, and you witness the flame within them shining brightly. This transformative spark, often elusive and challenging to articulate, is a magnetic force that transcends mere words. It’s an integral part of my approach to coaching that not all training programs explicitly cover, yet it’s unmistakable when experienced and witnessed.

Authentic Presence and Connection:

Certain coaching approaches create an environment where both coach and client can be authentically present, open, and vulnerable. This authenticity fosters a deep connection that goes beyond verbal communication. Whilst not the only reason, it’s why some coaches insist on connecting with potential clients before committing to a coaching relationship, recognizing the importance of alignment on a profound level.

Believing in the Client:

The question of “believing in a client” might seem perplexing to some. From the perspective of seasoned coaches, the idea of not believing in a client is inconceivable. The alignment between coach and client goes beyond a professional fit; it’s about resonating on a deeper level. It’s about recognizing and respecting each other’s souls and being excited about embarking on a transformative journey together. (I did issue a “woo-woo” warning earlier ;))

I’m always very aware eith a new client, particularly if someone is used to doing everything they can to be the person they think they should be, allowing themselves to just be in that space can feel really vulnerable and can feel like it takes a lot to turn up. Whilst I don’t follow anything as formal as a script its usual for me to acknowledge that in some way during our first conversation – I’ve found it actually aids in the long term. I can often see a physical relaxation once that’s been acknowledged and we can move onto the rest of the conversation.

Beyond Transaction:

When this alignment occurs, I find that the coaching relationship transcends transactional boundaries. It becomes a sacred space for growth— its like a dance of energy to explore evolve. It’s not just about reaching goals; it’s a journey of transformation, where the internal flame burns brighter and stronger and acts as a guide.

A Transformative Journey:

Recognizing the deeper connection in this approach to coaching transforms it into more than just a service—it becomes a transformative journey. This dance of energy propels both coach and client towards growth, evolution, and a profound transformation. It’s about more than achieving objectives; it’s about that allusive term of authenticity.

Your Soulful Coaching Experience:

Do you resonate with this description and experience of coaching? Whether you’re a coach, a client, or someone considering coaching, share your insights in the comments. What draws you to your style of coaching, and what kind of connections do you seek in this transformative process? Your reflections might just inspire and resonate with others on their own coaching journeys. Feel free to share in the coments below.

About Jen Waller

Jen Waller

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

As an experienced coach and trainer Jen is happy to utilise all skills at her disposal to assist clients from getting out of their own way and making a difference in the world with their coaching. Find out more about the support Jen offers here.


Coaching Confidence Chatterbox with Jane Minton

Chatterbox

Coaching Confidence Chatterbox with

Jane Minton

The Coaching Confidence Chatterbox is an interview feature with coaches where the questions are generated based on the origami fortune teller/chatterbox game.

Jane Minton

Name: Jane Minton

Name of your Coaching Business: Jane Minton Coaching

Website: www.janemintoncoaching.co.uk

.

(The answers to the above questions are then used to generate a choice of numbers)

.

Select one of the following numbers 7, 2, 3 or 6: 7

“What do you look for when choosing a coach for yourself?”:

A sense of connection; this might be something in their personal story that is shared or similar, but it’s also a feeling about them – a gut reaction.

.

Select one of the following numbers 8, 1, 4 or 5: 5

“What is your favourite way that a client has found out about your work?”:

When I shared some writing from a month long project that I took part in. An example of something I’d written was shared on the course leader’s site and that brought a client to me. I love the way those kind of things can happen – it’s about connection again!

.

Select one of the following numbers 8, 1 or 4: 4

“What is the biggest lesson that you’ve learnt, so far, as a coach?”:

To be authentic. This applies in all interactions with clients and when I’m networking. I think that’s where a good website and blog can be really useful; potential clients can get a sense of who you are if you’re genuine in your content.

.

What question would you like to add to the Chatterbox for another coach to answer?:

What advice would you give to someone who thinks that they’d like to become a coach?

.

How would you answer that question?:

To remember that it’s not about YOU it’s about THEM!

 

Thanks for playing Jane, if you want to find out more about her work visit www.janemintoncoaching.co.uk.

If you are a coach and want to play with the Coaching Confidence Chatterbox send an email via this page.


5 Google+ Features That Are Useful For Coaches

In today’s guest post Chris Chaves shares practical information and advice for coaches on using one of the fastest growing social media platforms:

5 Google+ Features That Are Useful For Coaches

By Chris Chaves

There are dozens of social media sites you can use to market yourself as a coach but few have as many features as Google+.

I’ve recently been spending quite a bit of time familiarizing myself with Google + and while I don’t claim to be an expert just yet, I did want to share with you an overview of it’s tools and features.

Here are some reasons why you should add Google + to your coach marketing plan:

  • Google + is one of the fastest growing social media sites out there. It surpassed LinkedIn and has more active users than any other social media site except Facebook.
  • Google + is integrated in Google’s search engine system so having a high number of followers in Google+ can greatly increase your search engine rankings.
  • Google + is also integrated into YouTube (which is also owned by Google). This makes it really easy to create and share videos (more on that in a minute)

Before I get into the various features within Google+, lets start with a quick lesson on how to access the menu bar (which is where you’ll find all these features)

Google and the Google logo are registered trademarks of Google Inc., used with permission.

Just hover over the home icon in the upper left side of the screen to open the navigation bar.

Google and the Google logo are registered trademarks of Google Inc., used with permission.

Here are 5 great features within Google + that you can use as a coach to market and deliver your coaching services.

1. Circles – A Great Way To Listen To Your Potential Coaching Clients

Google and the Google logo are registered trademarks of Google Inc., used with permission.

Google + is a great tool for listening to your ideal customers and you can use a feature called “Circles” to categorize people that you want to follow. Unlike Facebook, you don’t need to send a request to someone in order to add him/her to your circles. You can create as many circles as you like and you can add people to one, or many circles.

Once you add someone to your circles, you’ll be able to see the things they post publicly.

Here are some examples of Circles you may want to create:

  • Potential Partners
  • Other Coaches In Your Niche
  • Influential people in your niche that you want to keep an eye on
  • People who are in groups or communities within your niche (potential coaching clients)
  • Existing Clients
  • People you meet
  • Hangouts (anyone who’s attended your hangouts) – more on this later

People can’t see what circle you’ve added them to so if you add someone to a circle you labeled as “Potential Clients” or “Competition”, they won’t see the circle name. They will just get a notification that says you have added them to your circles.

2. Communities – Great For Listening, and Positioning Yourself As An Expert

Google and the Google logo are registered trademarks of Google Inc., used with permission.

Communities in Google+ are a lot like groups you find in LinkedIn or Facebook. They’re groups of people who are all interested in a particular topic. Joining communities that are focused on topics in your coaching niche can be a great way of listening to the needs of your ideal clients.

Communities also provide you with a great way to engage with other people in your niche whether they be potential clients, potential partners and/or other people who serve your ideal clients.

One way to engage with people in circles is to comment on their posts. You can also +1 their posts (which is similar to a Facebook “like”) or you can share their post with your audience. Of course, you can also create your own posts.

Much like LinkedIn and Facebook Groups, you can post tips, quotes, ask a question, and even post a link to your blog post every once in a while.

3. Video Hangouts

Google and the Google logo are registered trademarks of Google Inc., used with permission.

Google+ allows you to setup a video chat, or “Hangout” with up to 10 people. This can be great for having an online coaching session with a client, or for staring an interactive webinar that you can broadcast on your YouTube channel or on your website.

With hangouts, you can choose how public or private they are and you can set them up so they post directly to your YouTube channel so you can use the recordings anyway you like (i.e. you can post them on your website or send them to your list).

Just be careful with this though… I’ve seen coaches accidentally post private coaching sessions to their YouTube channel so you’ll want to practice a few times and familiarize yourself with these features before scheduling a coaching session or big event.

4. Events

Google and the Google logo are registered trademarks of Google Inc., used with permission.

Events are a lot like hangouts except with events, you can schedule them and invite people in advance. You can invite the public, certain communities, circles or individuals and like hangouts, you can also link these to your YouTube account so you can get a recording of the event after.

Events allow you to track RSVP’s and also integrate with Google calendars, which also make Events a great option for online group coaching sessions, periodic webinars, and presentations. Events also allow you to have a forum where people can ask questions while you’re presenting (like many of the popular premium webinar platforms)

5. Google+ Pages

You can create a page specifically for your business or coaching profile (very much like having a Facebook company page). Most coaches probably won’t need a page because they can just use their profile, but if you wanted to have a completely separate page for your business, having a Google + page may be the perfect solution for you.

While this has just been a brief overview of each of the features, my hope is that you’ll be able to take this

Here are a Few Final Tips…

  • Post frequently. This is one of the best ways to increase your following.
  • Add pictures and videos to your posts.
  • Add hashtags to your posts to help make them more visible.
  • Share and comment on other peoples’ posts.
  • Thank other people when they comment/share/+1 your posts.
  • PRACTICE these features with a friend (especially events and hangouts) before using them with your audience.

While I’ve only scratched the surface of Google+, my hope is that this post will give you enough of an overview to get started using this rapidly growing social media tool.

About Chris Chaves

Chris Chaves is the former Director of Sales for the Tony Robbins Coach certification program and is currently focused on helping new coaches get over the obstacles associated with becoming a successful coach through his Coach’s First Year blog.

He recently started The Coaching Success Podcast, in which he interviews other successful coaches to talk about their secrets to success. PLEASE hop on over to iTunes and give the show a rating.

Connect with Chris via:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/coachbiztips

Twitter: twitter.com/CoachBizTips

Google+: plus.google.com/+ChrisChavesCPC/posts

 

 

Google and the Google logo are registered trademarks of Google Inc., used with permission.


Acting from Fear vs Love 1

Coach Louise Gillespie-Smith shares her thoughts and experience in today’s guest post:

"Acting from Fear vs Love" A guest post by Louise Gillespie-Smith

Acting from Fear vs Love

By Louise Gillespie-Smith

Most of the time as a life coach I am really living my dream; I am inspired, I am enjoying doing the things I love and I am empowering people to live a life they love too. Then there are other times when I find myself behaving from a totally different place, from fear.

I can recognise it now, it’s like I have had a double espresso even though I don’t drink caffeine anymore. An anxious feeling starts to burn in my heart, my actions are frenzied and I am not connected to who I really am at all.

Surely a life coach doesn’t feel fear?! GASP!

Coaches are seen as such positive inspirational people that it can be hard to admit to feeling like this to others and even to myself sometimes. However we are all human and sometimes it’s natural to get a bit scared, it’s what you do with the fear that matters. What you resist does indeed persist so acknowledging the signals that you are in the fear zone is the first step to turning it in to love, which is our true nature.

At the core of our being is love, this is who we are and this is what we have to share with the world. We have chosen to walk down the path of being coaches to support and empower people to be who they truly are. So it’s important that we do the same for ourselves!

Following are a few things I have found that work for me to bring myself out of the fear zone and into acting from a place of love;

  • Go outside and connect with the earth. Fear is in our minds, when we are caught up with self-talk we are not grounded or in our bodies at all. If I notice myself tensing up, thoughts spinning round and round I’ll stop what I am doing and go outside. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes I will feel the earth beneath my feet, I’ll listen to the birds, I’ll watch the sun sparkling on the sea, where ever I am I will take a few moments to bring myself back to the present moment right here right now.
  • Remind yourself “there is only ever this moment and right now I have a choice of who I am being, which parts of my personality I wish to draw upon”.
  • Meditate, I find this one particularly works:

Sit in silence for a few minutes paying attention to the rise and fall breath

Start to think about all the things you are grateful for

Start to bring to mind your fear and then release it to God/ The Universe

Pay attention to your heart beating, feel every sensation, consciously use your intention to slow it down.

Send your intention to feel your heart beating in your hands and to feel the warmth grow in them.

Finally repeat an affirmation that works for you. For example “I am safe and totally protected by the Universe/ God, all is well”.

  • Get into your body by doing some exercise, I teach yoga and find this perfect for calming my mind down. Dance also really connects me with my body. Do something that works for you.
  • Ask what will bring me joy? Then do that. For us to be able to help others we need to be taking care of ourselves. Self-love is crucial for us to have the energy and inspiration to help others.

I’ve got to admit I find writing a blog for other coaches slightly daunting as I am sure you will already know lots of this stuff already but I also know that sometimes we just need a little reminder! Being kind and loving to yourself is what is going to help you be able to share your love and support with everyone else you come into contact with.

About the Author/Further Resources

Louise Gillespie-Smith runs a business called Create Yourself which empowers and supports people in making positive change in their life. She has a holistic toolkit of resources, life coaching/NLP/ yoga/ reiki/ image consultancy, to create individually tailored packages based on what each client needs. lo****@cr************.uk /07779 150886.

Find Louise and Create Yourself on Facebook at www.facebook.com/CREATEYOURSELF and follow Louise on Twitter at www.twitter.com/LouiseatCreate

 


Are you coaching from your head or from your heart? 4

Transformative Coach Katri Manninen shares her thoughts about coaching and clients insights in today’s guest post:

Are you coaching from your head or your heart

Are you coaching from your head or from your heart?

By Katri Manninen

Have you ever noticed, how sometimes a random statement you make without thinking seems to cause your client to have a major insight? Or even worse: your client shrieks joyfully “Oh, that’s it! I get it! Thank you!” …and you have no idea what you just said?

How many times you have thought you fully understand what is going on with your client, but when you explain it to them, they stare at you as if you just said sun doesn’t exist? Or even worse, they mutter something like “yeah, but…” and then go on a rant that proves your point wrong? Suddenly the mood in the room becomes tense and oppositional and you feel that you lost the connection to your client.

I have experienced the both scenarios, and for the first year I was coaching it puzzled me. How could I help my clients to have more insights, when I didn’t know how I had helped to have their initial insights? How could I stop myself from ruining the good feeling between me and my client when I felt the urge to help them?

Then I joined Michael Neill’s Supercoach Academy [www.supercoachacademy.com] and learned the three principles behind the human experience. I learned when to speak and when to shut up by noticing where my thoughts and words seemed to come from. Were they coming from my heart: my inner wisdom and the intelligent energy behind life — or from my head: my personal intelligence, opinions, judgements and prejudices?

When I’m speaking from my heart, I feel grounded and open. My body feels relaxed and light. My mind is calm and clear. The words and thoughts seem to be coming deep inside me, from my gut or my heart. Or more precisely: they feel like they’re coming through me, not from me.

When I’m in the heart-space, I’m often surprised by what I say — and so are my clients. I just seem to know instinctively what to ask — and when to be quiet — even when it doesn’t make sense to me.

When I’m speaking from my head, I’m thinking a lot. Sometimes so much I don’t really hear the client anymore. All my thoughts seem to be coming from my head. I may feel energetic and enthusiastic, but if I listen closely to my body, I notice my body is tense and closed.

When I’m in the head-space, my words are calculated and statements manipulative. I feel like a puppeteer trying to pull the right strings to make my client to see what’s best for them. I feel smart and important… That is, until my “wisdom” fails to hit its target and my eagerness to help the client ruins the mood in the room.

When I’m speaking from my heart, I don’t care if my clients get what I’m saying or not. I know that they have access to the same infinite wisdom as I do, and that they will eventually find the answers they’re looking for. My job is just to be present and point them to the right direction. That’s all.

When I’m speaking from my head, outcome is everything. I want my clients to understand me. I have a need to add value and make a difference. If they resist my suggestions, I feel irritated or disappointed. I start to think that either I’m a failure or they’re “un-coachable”.

Today I do most of my coaching from my heart. Yes, sometimes I fall into the trap of my own thinking and have an irresistible urge to say something smart or give advice. The minute I notice what I’ve done, I laugh at myself — sometimes out loud.

This new approach has made coaching feel light and easy while my clients are having amazing breakthroughs. This understanding has also changed my marriage and other relationship. It’s mind-blowing how seldom people really need my opinions and advice — and how often just being present and loving is more than enough.

About the Author/Further Resources

Katri Manninen is a Transformative Coach (™) on a mission. Her goal is to create Fearless World 2022 by teaching three principles and helping people to tap into their inner wisdom. She has committed to being The Most Powerful Coach in the World by being fully present and open with all of her clients — regardless if they’re desperate housewives she’s coaching pro bono or successful entrepreneurs with multi-million businesses.

If you understand Finnish, check out her website: www.kutri.net . If you’d like to experience the space where miracles can happen, email her: ku***@ku***.net

 

Background on Image above title via: FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Discover your ‘Book of Rules’…

In this week’s guest post Evolved Master Coach Morgan Tinline shares insights and explainations about how we are “wired.”

Discover your ‘Book of Rules’…

by Morgan Tinline

As an Evolved Master Coach, I work almost entirely with the unconscious mind – also called the conditioned mind. This is where clients experience lasting change that happens very quickly. I assist clients to essentially change their ‘wiring’ so that they choose to be cause and create the life they desire.

As is my foremost objective when in a coaching session, I want to offer you the opportunity to gain massive value from this post simply by enjoying it for yourself in whatever way is best for you!

So, from my perspective as an Evolved Master Coach, I want to share with you some information on how we are ‘wired’ and more importantly, how that ‘wiring’ serves us as individuals on an unconscious level. And of course, I’d love for you to gain insights into how to change that wiring almost effortlessly!

Let’s start with how we perceive and process our world…

Internal Representations:

Your internal representation will to a great extent determine your focus. You will soon learn that you get what you focus on. Your focus determines your thinking; your thinking determines your behaviour, which determines your results.

The Five senses (VAKOG) supply information from the outside world directly to the conditioned mind for processing/filtering. This information together with our Self-Talk (Ad) creates our Internal Representation.

Your unconscious mind is symbolic and it thinks and communicates using V, A, K, O, G and Ad. In order to use our minds effectively we need to use all of our Internal Representations, aligning them with what we want.

Think of all the signs that you see for caution or warning… “Don’t Slip” for example (with a picture of a man slipping). Remember that the unconscious mind doesn’t process negatives directly. The mind processes everything through VAKOG all the time. Rather state everything in the positive, FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT.

What feeling and images are in your mind when you think of yourself slipping on a wet floor? What kind of internal representation would that create? Our Internal Representation becomes our focus… we tend to produce the necessary behaviour to manifest that. This is the basis for effective change.

“Don’t think of a pink elephant”

Realise that you can’t think about what you don’t want to think about without thinking about it.

So all 5 senses and our self talk together, make up our Internal Representation. Now ask “What am I focusing on? Is my focus positive?” From now on this includes all 6 things we can do in our minds. Are all the systems supporting you towards successful achievement of your goal? This will make a huge difference in your life.

picture for Morgan Tinline guest post dec 11

Our mind sorts information into 7 ± 2 chunks of information. Our Internal Representation constantly combined with our Physiology creates our State. State dictates our Behaviour and we create certain Results in our lives.

Focus Filters

What are you focusing on? Is it towards what you want or towards what you don’t want? Are you focusing on what you want or are you focusing on what you don’t want?

Core Focus Filters – (Internal Acid Test)

Our core focus filters are our human needs. This model has been adopted from Anthony Robbins, who says “You don’t always get what you want, but you always get what you need.”

These needs are not wants and desires, but profound needs which service the basis of every choice we make.

You will always find a way to fulfil your core needs, either in a positive, negative or neutral way.

There are 6 basic human needs:

Certainty

This is our need for safety, security, consistency and predictability.

Variety

The opposite of certainty is our need for uncertainty, variety, the unknown, risk, challenges.

Significance

This is our need for being important, being needed, feeling worthy, unique, status

Love / Connection

Our need for connection, intimacy, love, sharing, bonding

The first 4 human needs Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love / Connection are the needs of the body/personality. People will do ANYTHING to meet these needs, one way or another.

The needs of our spirit or soul are met through Growth and Contribution…

Growth

Our need for growth, expansion, learning, becoming more… when we stop growing, we die. We need to constantly develop emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Contribution

Our need to go beyond our own needs and contributing to others, making a difference in others lives, helping, educating, coaching.

We tend to focus on two; the dominant two influence our behaviour the most.

Exercise:

1) Write down all the ways you currently get: Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love/Connection, Growth and Contribution in your life in general.

2) Answer the following questions (take your time and think about it).

a) What is it that drives you? What are your top 2 Core Focus Filters? Which two do you value the most?

b) How does this impact the quality of your life? What are the consequences (positive and negative) of valuing these needs in this order?

Process Focus Filters – (Inner Parent)

These are process driven that shape our Focus and our reality.

Meta Programs

Values

Beliefs

Memories

Decisions

Attitudes

Language

Time/Space/Matter/Energy

Key Focus Filter – (Internal Driver)

This holds the Key of your Focus. It determines what is and what isn’t important, based on all the other filters. Your mind created a question that sums up all your filters together. It filters your conscious and unconscious thinking, all the time. It is basically the question that you keep asking yourself consciously or unconsciously, no matter what you are doing. You filter all information coming in through your 5 senses all 400 Billion bps as if your life depended on it. How important do you think this question is?

And now, for the even more amazing stuff. For those of you want to discover your own unconscious ‘instruction manual’…

 

Book of Rules Exercise:

 

What is important in your life?

List the top 5 things that you value in life. What is life about for you? What are you striving for, what would you like to feel or experience in life?

 

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

 

(For each of the above that you listed answer the following question)

For you to feel/experience __________ , what needs to happen, what needs to be present in order for you to feel that way or to experience that?

 

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

 

In the past, what have been the feelings you would do almost anything to avoid?

List here the top 5, your biggest ‘Away From’:

 

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

 

(For each of the above that you listed answer the following question)

For you to feel/experience __________ , what needs to happen, what needs to be present in order for you to feel that way or to experience that?

 

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

 

Most people make it really difficult to achieve their ‘Towards Values’ and really easy to achieve their ‘Away Values’. Why not make it really easy to achieve your towards by using OR, and make it really difficult to achieve Away but using AND.

 

I trust you have enjoyed asking some of the right questions for the answers you’ve always had! You can email me with any questions/queries and feedback. Send email to mo****@ep***********.com

In conclusion, I leave you with the words of my friend and mentor…

“May you find all that you seek outside, inside of you.” – RS

About the author

blavatarMorgan Tinline is an Evolved Master Coach currently living in South Africa. He is passionate about people and assisting them in accessing their massive potential. Add to that his past personal experience and triumph over severe depression as well as overcoming Bipolar Disorder without any medical assistance or traditional therapy, and you get a coach who loves every bit of his 100% success rate.

Specialising in self-sabotage, Morgan is currently building a platform through which even more people can choose to have instant and lasting change and live the life they desire.

Stay informed of what is happening as well as upcoming visits to various countries around the world in 2012 and beyond. Go to www.epiclivingnow.com, follow him on twitter @EpicLivingNow, and like his page on facebook – Epic Living