“A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.”
(Charles Darwin)
Feb 16 2012
Coaching Quote of the Day 16th February 2012
“What would God do if you took the day off?”
(Dan Millman)
Feb 15 2012
Coaching and motivating clients, part one
Last week’s coaching post was “What do you do if you get “stuck” in a coaching session?” This week I want to start to talk about a specific situation that may generate that feeling of being stuck – how to motivate a client.
Today’s post is in direct response to a request for “Statements to help motivate the client.” For reason’s I’ll explain in a moment I’m going to expand upon that request with the aim of providing some useful ways to move forward if you find yourself “stuck” and maybe even avoid it in the first place.
Even with just mentioning a few pointers, there is lots to be said so I am posting part one today with part 2 next Wednesday.
Over time you will develop your own coaching style, you will probably already have certain beliefs about what is a role of a coach. I reserve the right to be flexible about the roles that I take during a coaching session but one of the ones I personally often think of myself as is as a facilitator, or if you prefer a catalyst.
Which is why rather than just give a specific couple of questions or statements that you could learn like a script and recite I want to assist you to be able to produce your own and make a difference with each of your individual clients.
Is the client asking for help with motivation?
I ask not because I’m questioning your judgement as a coach, I ask because motivation is one of those things that can mean slightly different things to different people. It’s not like you can nip down to your local supermarket and buy a tin of motivation.
It’s so much easier for you as a coach to provide a service that delivers what your client is looking for, if you have a conversation about what that means to your client.
Question you may ask your client: “How will you know when this is motivating?”
As a coach, what are you looking to achieve by motivating your client?
I know that this can seem like an obvious question but there is a certain logic behind me asking this. Sometimes if you are stuck it can be because you are asking yourself a less than useful question. If “how can I motivate this client?” isn’t throwing up any useful answers let’s ask a different question – knowing what you want to achieve can open up a whole new range of questions for both you and your client.
Often coaches are looking for a way to assist a client to take action towards their goal. One way is to select a step that is really easy to take to get them started taking action – this is particularly useful if they are imaging a huge overwhelming task. For example, which appears easier – writing one chapter or a whole book?
Making the task seem more manageable can lead to your client taking action easily.
Look to add “fun” into the action – make it more pleasant to do. If a client is imagining that the next step will be as much fun as having a limb amputated with a blunt saw and no anaesthetic then they are not likely to be as keen to rush out and take action. If there is an enjoyment factor then it will be much easier for them to start taking action.
Questions that may be relevant to ask a client: “What would be an easy step to take?”
“How can that be even more fun?”
Assist your client to tap into their natural desire
Sometimes a client can get caught up in small detail and miss or lose sight of what they want to achieve. Assist your client by reconnecting them with that motivation so that they naturally have a desire to take action and move forward.
You may choose to ask them direct questions or use guided imagery about their final goal or completing the next stage. Remember that using a description that uses all senses will assist your client to envision something that is easier to connect with.
This is always easier if the “goal” you are working with is something that your client actually wants. Notice if you actually believe what your client is saying.
If you ever hear and see someone talk about something that they genuinely want and desire, there is a light in their eye and sound in their voice. If you are not hearing and seeing that you have the option to explore in more depth.
Next week we will talk about things such as the impact of words and commitment. Meanwhile if you want to share your own advice, or to ask questions feel free to do so below.
Read part two here.
About the Author
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.
Feb 15 2012
Coaching Quote of the Day 15th February 2012
“Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them.”
(David Hume)
Feb 14 2012
Coaching Quote of the Day 14th February 2012
“Wealth has more to do with experiencing than with having.”
(Paul Hwoschinsky)
Feb 13 2012
What are you focusing upon?
This was originally published as a bonus article in the Coaching Confidence weekly email during April 2011. To start getting your very own copy each week enter your details under “Don’t miss a thing!” to the right of this page.
What are you focusing upon?
One of the shows on Sunday evening British TV at the moment is called “The Cube”. If you have not seen the program the basic context is that a contestant has 9 “lives” to play a series of games inside a “cube”.
The prize money increases with each game and the contestant can choose to walk away with the money that they have already won before they commit to playing the next round. Once they are committed they can only win any money if they successfully complete that game before they have used all the 9 lives. If they loose they walk away with nothing.
The games themselves can look really simple (i.e. stacking a certain number of blocks into a tower within a given time). Often games that if you “played” somewhere you’re normally relaxed, treating it just as a game without putting any pressure on yourself, you’d complete it easily and without thinking.
This is a show where there has been more than one series so contestants now will often have practiced some of the games at home.
However, contestants often find that once “in the cube” they find it’s an entirely different experience. They’ll make comments such as “It’s funny how quickly the pressure builds up” and will report physical effects such as “my mouths a bit dry.”
The game itself can be exactly the same as the one they have easily done at home – the difference is the pressure they are putting upon themselves in “the cube”. They’ll often say things like £x will mean that I can get married, or take the kids on a holiday etc.
That approach may appear sensible when they are making the decision if they wanted to carry on to commit to playing the next game.
Once committed to playing that game, they can easily increase the pressure upon themselves with the thoughts they focus upon.
For example, if the game is based around catching a ball imagine focusing on a thought such as “catching that ball means I can get married” in comparison to just focusing upon catching the ball. Which would be the one that you would find the most stressful?
Notice that I have deliberately chosen to phrase this as focusing upon a thought – I have not said do not think a specific thought. There is a difference between letting a thought pass by and engaging with it.
There will be many thoughts that you have without focusing on – perhaps briefly noticing something different but insignificant on a familiar journey, or noticing you recognise a tune on the radio but going straight back to what you were doing etc.
If you have committed yourself to a project or activity, particularly if you have found you are feeling pressure connected with it, I invite you to consider the thoughts you are focusing upon.
For example, if you have committed to doing a coaching session with someone are you focusing upon coaching that individual or a particular thought in your head?
Love
Jen
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About the Author
Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.
She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.
Feb 13 2012
Coaching Quote of the Day 13th February 2012
“We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.”
(Eric Hoffe)
Feb 12 2012
Coaching Quote of the Day 12th February 2012
“Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.”
(Immanuel Kant)
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