This was originally published as a bonus article in the Coaching Confidence weekly email during June 2011. To start getting your very own copy each week enter your details under “Don’t miss a thing!” to the right of this page.

What can we learn from best practice in other fields?

Both this week’s Monday post and next week’s will focus on two workshops I have recently observed. Some of the following will specifically talk about a different industry with different job titles, yet I invite you to consider the points that you, as a coach, can take from this experience.

To help, I’ve added a few coaching questions to consider throughout this piece, however, feel free to ask your own coaching questions as they occur to you.

Last week I spent a delightful, if somewhat rainy, day in Stratford – Upon – Avon. The Royal Shakespeare Company (the RSC) was having an open day with various events scheduled throughout the day.

For those who are not aware of The RSC they are a theatre company who see their “job to connect people with Shakespeare and produce bold, ambitious work with living writers, actors and artists.”

The first workshop I watched was led by the RSC’s “Head of Voice” Cicely Berry. We were first treated to a bit of history about how in 1969 the RSC was the first theatre company in the UK to employ someone specifically to work with actors just for voice. It was felt that the training that the young actors were getting did not prepare them to “fill spaces.”

Being a new approach, Cicely Berry described how she was working on her feet, figuring out strategies and techniques as she went along.

She described how one of the issues she saw was that often actors lost connection with characters by conforming to what the director wanted.

Coaching is often discussed as being a “new field” and I do see some coaches figuring out new strategies and techniques as they go along – ones that work for themselves and their clients.

However, I also see some coaches who have lost connection with themselves – either because they are conforming to what a respected “expert” has wanted or by their own interpretation about who they “should” be as a coach.

A coaching question to consider: if you were working on your feet figuring out strategies and techniques as you went along, what would you be doing different?

As head of voice, Cicely Berry says “My job is to get them [the actors] free from their left hand side of the brain, understanding and really hearing it for themselves.”

A coaching question to consider: Are you aware as a coach what your role is working with your clients?

I know, personally I can have many different roles depending upon the client I am working with and where they are at any given moment. Certainly, as a coach one of the roles that I am aware that I do is to assist my client to hear their own inner wisdom – instead of listening to the stories and logical reasons they had been telling themselves.

As it was a workshop you probably won’t be surprised to hear that we also saw the actors participating in various exercises designed to emphasis various technical aspects.

One of these exercises was about recognising the beat and rhythm of a particular piece as the underlying rhythm gives incredible energy and makes it active.

A different exercise focused upon demonstrating that it Isn’t necessarily the volume you speak but reaching out with constinents etc that means you can be heard even in the back row of the auditorium.

A coaching question to consider: what else could you do to add incredible energy to something you are currently working upon?

Even though more mature in her years and walking with the use of a stick, she still got up during exercises to stand in the middle of the action. She made sure that she was monitoring what was happening and what each participant was doing. Often the exercises involved lots of movement and quick changes in direction. In the middle of this if any actor turned unexpectedly in her direction she just put a hand in front of her and stood her ground so they didn’t unintentionally bump into her.

A coaching question to consider: What more can you do to be more in the middle of the action?

As I watched I was aware that if we were to use labels that coaches would be familiar with there were numerous examples that we could use.

For example, after explaining an exercise she asked a variation of the question “Do you mind doing that?”

You may be familiar as a coach with checking someones willingness to an action. This phrasing not only does that but also being a closed question she was inviting a straight forward yes or no answer without any “story” associated with that.

At the end of each exercise the participants were asked, “What did you get from that?” giving them the opportunity to reflect and reinforce the learning from the exercise.

So my final coaching question to consider this week is: “What can you learn/take from this post?”

Is it history?

One of the subjects I studied at university was history. There are skills, methods of analysis and approaches that I still use in my day-to-day life which may not be obvious.

There are also other skills and knowledge that I learnt directly from studying that subject which are far more obvious. For example an ongoing project has been researching my own family history – knowing my way round certain historical records is rather helpful for that.

I’m also involved in recording onto databases certain historical records to make them more accessible and easily searchable. Some of these records are hand written, while others may be typed. They are all from a past era in time and it can take some time to become familiar with the language that is being used.

I don’t mean that the records that I’m working on are written in a language other than English – there is just specific terminology that can take some interpretation.

Some documents can be really easy to understand and interpret. Others can take longer as I adjust to someone’s particular handwriting style or the abbreviations they may have been using.

Projects can be a straightforward list of names etc and can be more repetitive in the work needed as well as more superficial with your understanding of the data. Others involve far more involvement.

One of the projects that I recently did was make a record of names that appeared in newspapers. This was an African American paper from the turn of the 20th century and there was a story within one of the pages that recorded disturbances after a mesmerism act had visited town.

It appeared that some of the local youths had learnt some mesmerism skills and had used these for their own amusement. An example of a disturbance was one boy who stood up and shouted in Sunday school every time a particular phrase was used!

I’d be very surprised if at the time the instigator of this act would imagine that in over 100 years time someone would be reading about their exploits and sharing the account with others.

I also wonder if those who had been upset by the situation would still have the same feelings if they were looking back on it from 100 plus years into the future – would it still seem important to them?

As a coach I have seen plenty of clients make use of the benefit of hindsight – both actual and when someone imagines looking back at an event from the future. You may even have guided a client to think of something in the past and seen the difference it made to them.

As an individual I also know that sometimes just taking that step back from a situation, often makes it seem far less significant or scary. It can also put things into a much wider context.

Today I invite you to play with the following:

1. Pick a situation or scenario that you are currently stuck with or want a new perspective.
2. Make sure that you are in an environment where it is safe for you to be distracted – for example do not do this when driving a car!
3. Imagine that you have somehow travelled 100+ years into the future and someone else is reading an account of that situation
4. From this new perspective, 100 + years into the future, notice what your thoughts are now.
5. From 100 + years in the future become aware of any advice/action you would share with the you from 2012.
6. When you are ready bring your attention fully back to 2012, bringing any observations and advice back with you that you want to and is appropriate.

Feel free to take any action you want to with your new perspective.

Love

Jen

About the Author

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

Do you need a gallery floor plan in your life?

Over the summer I visited the National Gallery in London with my sister. For one reason or another it’s a venue that I had never previously visited.

If, like me, it’s somewhere you haven’t set foot inside, let me briefly explain. The National Gallery houses the national collection of Western European painting from the 13th to the 19th centuries. It is on show 361 days a year, free of charge. I’m told you can see over 2300 on display.

Generally the art is arranged chronologically, geographically and by style throughout 70+ different rooms. Rather than using a map we thought we would logically visit each room and browse all the pieces on display.

The main building was opened in 1831 with extra wings added at later stages. Rooms are numbered and on a map appear to be relatively logically ordered. However, without the benefit of the floor plan, because of the building layout you may find yourself walking from room 25 into 28 with no sign of room 26.

We were not alone in standing slightly bemused in fantastic surroundings but in a spot where we could choose to go in at least four different directions.

Personally I enjoyed exploring and the unpredictable journey we ended up taking to visit each room. It also reminded me about this can often be the approach that we take when working on a project or goal in our own life. We may have established what we want but then not look at a plan for where to go next.

Some people will love that approach and exploring and yet others find it very frustrating. Personally, I think it’s whatever works for you and what you want, keeping the flexibility to use both approaches as you see fit!

This week I invite you to consider a project you have been working on – have you identified a plan?

If so, and it’s not working, what would happen if you allowed some time to explore?

If not, and you feel it’s not working, what would happen if you did find/create a plan to follow to the next stage?

Have a week full of exploring,

Love

Jen

About the Author

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

Crazy combinations

When channel hopping on the TV recently I came across an item on Asian cooking. The chef was introducing the presenters to the taste combination of pineapple and peanuts.

Both presenters expressed surprise at the idea of putting both of these flavours together prior to testing the dish. Both also agreed that they really liked the way they worked together.

The chef responded to their comments with “Sometimes those combinations seem crazy but they just work.”

I know when I’m coaching someone who feels that they are stuck in a situation that when questioned we start with the obvious, often practical, answers first, before we find the solution that will work for this individual.

Now, I’m not for one minute suggesting that obvious and/or practical solutions never work. It’s just that they are often the solutions that the individual has already tried before we get as far as a coaching conversation.

It’s those answers that are not as immediately obvious, including those crazy combinations, that can just work.

This week I invite you to play with the following.

1. Pick something that you would like to get some more ideas around, perhaps a situation where you feel that they are stuck and allow yourself to play.

2. Grab a pen and paper and something that will take 5 minutes and ideally alert you once that time is over (watch/mobile phone etc)

3. Allow yourself 5 minutes to constantly write as many approaches, solutions and combinations that could be applied in the situation that you have chosen to play with.

Things to remember before you start your 5 minutes:

• You do not have to take any action on anything that you write down – if something springs to mind and you automatically dismiss it that it wouldn’t work, write it down anyway and see what comes next.
• Allow yourself to be creative. If something seems insane and improbable write it down anyway and see what the next idea/thought to write down will be.
• Just keep writing, no matter how silly or unbelievable an answer may appear – if you imagine a dragon that can travel faster than the speed of light as an answer, it is perfectly acceptable to write that down and then see what comes up next.

4. Once you have had your 5 minutes of writing count up how many answers you have. If you have not got at least 30, I suggest you keep writing until you come up with that figure.

5. Read through your answers and notice what new approaches occur to you and if there are any that you may want to take action upon.

What often happens with this exercise is that people find it lets trains of thought to flow without being dismissed as impractical etc. This allows new ideas and combinations to appear some that may even appear crazy at first but just work.

Have a fun week with some crazy combinations,

Love

Jen

About the Author

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

The self-publicising cat

One of our cats appears to have developed a love for self-publicity and telling us what she is doing. When she goes for a drink she’ll meow to tell us she’s going, when she’s finished having a drink she’ll meow again.

As I sat down to write this message there was a meow from behind me – apparently to tell me that she had entered the room and now intended to curl up in comfort.

She is very considerate in sharing what she is doing and if she knows we are already watching, and already know what she is doing, she keeps quiet.

The vet says she is very healthy so it really does seem to be her way of attracting our attention, and sometimes getting our assistance so she gets what she wants – which in her case is usually a fuss or rearranging the bedding so it’s comfier!

Now, before you get any ideas that I’m about to suggest that you to take the example of the cat and squeal every time you enter a room, relax! By all means if that’s the approach that you want to take feel free however there is less extreme approaches you can use – or not use, as you see fit!

Last year I attended a training event where there was a mix of businesses represented. The organisers had purposefully included a section of the day to “network”. I got chatting to someone in the queue for lunch prior to the allotted time for networking.

He was busy sharing that he already knew that there was no point him staying to “network.” He only worked with large multinational companies in certain industries. From an exercise earlier in the day he knew that no one currently worked for a company that size and in the industries he wanted.

As it happened later that day I was talking to someone who had previously worked at a multi-national level in the very industry this gentleman would have loved to have connected with. I looked around to introduce the gentleman I had been talking to at lunch there was no sign of him. Presumably, because he knew there was nobody there directly doing what he’d wanted, he’d already gone home!

Does that mean that if that gentleman had stayed and met this second person a connection would certainly have happened? Well I’m certainly no psychic, so who knows what may have happened. I do know that it’s statistically more likely to have happened if that gentleman had stayed and then asked!

It appeared that the gentleman who missed making this new potential connection had ignored the fact, that we may have a friend, family member, former colleague etc who fitted his description.

This week I invite you to think about a goal/project that you are currently working towards/would like.

• How many people know what you are doing/want to do?

And as a bonus follow-up question:

• How many people have you shared how they can assist you with your goal/project?

Have a week full of questions, sharing and invites,

Love

Jen

About the Author

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

Laughing babies

You may have seen a YouTube clip of a baby laughing as his Dad rips up some paper.

It’s a clip that as I type this has been watched nearly 6 million times directly. It’s also one that has been picked up by various news sources so the actual number of people who will have seen the 8 month year old giggling away will actually be higher.

In the clip you can hear his Dad start to laugh along with his son as he continues to rip up the paper. The paper he is ripping up to such amusement is actually a job rejection letter.

It reminded me of a technique that some of my clients have used when going into a situation that they have felt was really important and were putting pressure on themselves that really wasn’t useful.

Prior to going into or taking a particular action all they did was to take a moment out from focusing upon how important they thought the future event was to their existence. Instead, I asked them to spend a few moments connecting with something that as they think of it brings a smile to their face.

Different people choose to connect with those thoughts and feelings in different manners. As a coach, I invite you to consider some of the options you have to guide someone to do this.

I will also share one of the ways I can teach to a client to play with. This is based loosely upon the Heart Math Institutes work; visit here to find out more about them here)

1. Put your hand physically over your heart,

2. Take a breath in and imagine breathing into your heart (We’re just playing so don’t over think this step!)

3. Hold your breath for a moment and then let it go

4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 for a few cycles while still focusing upon breathing into your heart. (If you find that you imagine any colour etc involved with breathing into your hear, that’s OK too)

5. While still breathing into your heart, think of someone or something that you love, someone that loves you or just something that when you think of it you find yourself automatically grinning about – maybe it’s laughing babies, or little kittens or puppy dogs.

Before I start listing items that could come straight from the lyrics of the sound of Music’s “My favourite things”, I’m going to say that there is no judgement about what thought you are selecting here. Just pick the one that works for you!

6. When you are ready, bring your attention back to your surroundings and continue with the action or event that you used to feel so pressured about.

Many people report that this approach helps to put things into a different perspective for them. I know people who have used this before going into make a presentation, an assessment situation, before picking up the phone to make a sales call etc.

About the Author

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

What are you focusing upon?

One of the shows on Sunday evening British TV at the moment is called “The Cube”. If you have not seen the program the basic context is that a contestant has 9 “lives” to play a series of games inside a “cube”.

The prize money increases with each game and the contestant can choose to walk away with the money that they have already won before they commit to playing the next round. Once they are committed they can only win any money if they successfully complete that game before they have used all the 9 lives. If they loose they walk away with nothing.

The games themselves can look really simple (i.e. stacking a certain number of blocks into a tower within a given time). Often games that if you “played” somewhere you’re normally relaxed, treating it just as a game without putting any pressure on yourself, you’d complete it easily and without thinking.

This is a show where there has been more than one series so contestants now will often have practiced some of the games at home.

However, contestants often find that once “in the cube” they find it’s an entirely different experience. They’ll make comments such as “It’s funny how quickly the pressure builds up” and will report physical effects such as “my mouths a bit dry.”

The game itself can be exactly the same as the one they have easily done at home – the difference is the pressure they are putting upon themselves in “the cube”. They’ll often say things like £x will mean that I can get married, or take the kids on a holiday etc.

That approach may appear sensible when they are making the decision if they wanted to carry on to commit to playing the next game.

Once committed to playing that game, they can easily increase the pressure upon themselves with the thoughts they focus upon.

For example, if the game is based around catching a ball imagine focusing on a thought such as “catching that ball means I can get married” in comparison to just focusing upon catching the ball. Which would be the one that you would find the most stressful?

Notice that I have deliberately chosen to phrase this as focusing upon a thought – I have not said do not think a specific thought. There is a difference between letting a thought pass by and engaging with it.

There will be many thoughts that you have without focusing on – perhaps briefly noticing something different but insignificant on a familiar journey, or noticing you recognise a tune on the radio but going straight back to what you were doing etc.

If you have committed yourself to a project or activity, particularly if you have found you are feeling pressure connected with it, I invite you to consider the thoughts you are focusing upon.

For example, if you have committed to doing a coaching session with someone are you focusing upon coaching that individual or a particular thought in your head?

Love

Jen

PS Want to share a link to a blog post from the last week? – Take part in our Monday Invite on our Facebook page here.

About the Author

Jen Waller is on a mission to support, nurture and encourage coaching skills and talents from non-coach to coach and beyond.

She has created a free 7 day e-course about how to create your own unique coaching welcome pack that works for you and your clients. Get your copy here.

“It’s life Jim, but not as we know it”

I was watching online last night live as NASA held a press conference. I’ve not studied science since leaving education so if you want a scientific explanation of what their announcement was then you can read what they had to say here.

Described by many as an announcement about a new life form, Hollywood images such as ET are easily conjured up in your imagination. In reality, with apologies to the actual science involved, it wasn’t ET that they have identified but a microbe with the catchy name of “strain GFAJ-1.” As I understand it, and I’m certainly not claiming to be an astrobiologist, the reason that they were getting so excited by this is because it disproves one of the basic assumptions about life on Earth.

If you were watching the press conference you would have heard quotes about rewriting textbooks and “If something here on Earth can do something so unexpected, what else can life do that we haven’t seen yet?”

It’s a question that I thought is very valid to more than those with an interest in science. In this weeks message I invite you to consider the possibility that there is perhaps assumptions that you have made. Maybe there is something in your life just waiting to do something so unexpected, what else can you do with your life that we haven’t seen yet?

Love

Jen

The squirrel and the ducks

This past week I took a short break. The place that we were staying was in a country setting. Woodland and a lake were all within the vicinity.

I happened to walk past a bird feeder hanging from a tree where a squirrel was busy helping itself to the nuts contained within. If you are familiar with squirrels then I suspect that this wouldn’t particularly surprise you – they are well known for using bird feeders as a source of food – even if they have to manoeuvre around complicated assault courses to be able to access them.

There was no assault courses with this particular bird feeder. There was however a group of ducks gathered below. I am not certain if the squirrel was deliberately feeding the ducks at the same time or if this was just a happy accident. One thing that did seem to be apparent – this was not an unusual occurrence and the ducks were quite happy to accept assistance from someone else.

I may be wrong but I didn’t see those ducks read any more into the situation than it was an opportunity they were not going to miss.

Sometimes, we cannot be as willing as those ducks to accept assistance or even see such opportunities that arise. We may have an idea in our own head that it is important to do everything all by ourselves.

I’ve seen that self-sufficiency manifest itself in coaches in all sorts of ways:

For example,

• Missing the possibility of hiring someone who loves to do the business bits you hate/spend lots of your time doing. I’m not saying that you will never have to spend any time communicating or keeping track about what is happening with such tasks, just that the option is there to get assistance.
• I’ve seen beliefs that in order to be a coach you had to be perfect, have all the answers and not require or want to use the services of a coach/mentor/other professional.
• Choosing to “beat yourself up” and just “try harder” if you encounter a skill you’re not happy with rather than consider another alternative.
• Ignoring/ not seeing marketing possibilities because you didn’t create them from scratch.

Today I invite you to consider the following question:

If it really didn’t mean anything about you, your skills or your business, what would be different if you took extra assistance?

Have a fantastic week

Love

Jen

What can you learn from climbing out of a 5th story window?

I walked into a room recently where the TV was playing in the background. On the screen was a picture of a man climbing out of a 5th story window. Wearing climbing gear he was attached safely to a harness and rope. He was obviously nervous about taking those first steps and had an expert beside him to support him climb up the outside of the building.

Immediately after he had successfully leaned out and trusted the rope he made a comment that had me reaching for a pen and paper.

What was this comment? “It’s the moment of commitment that makes all the difference.” Something that in my experience is true not just in climbing and abseiling.

Perhaps you have seen it in your own coaching clients as well as yourself – that moment of commitment to a goal, project or dream. I know I have.

While there are several things and reasons that can get in the way of someone progressing with what they want, the act of commitment towards that can make a huge difference to how any other obstacles are tackled.

There is a quote, often miss-accredited to Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, that sums up the impact that commitment can make:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.” (William H Murray)

Personally, I am currently committed to creating a specific training program. It’s something that I first had an idea for 2 years ago yet it was only when I made that commitment to turn all those many ideas into reality that it has begun to seriously take form.

This week I invite you to make a commitment to something that you want, either connected to you personal life or as a coach. If it will aid you to confirm that commitment feel free to share that with me by commenting below.

I am also prepared to offer complimentary From Non-coach to Coach Discovery sessions. I can only offer as many of these sessions as my schedule allows so these will be assigned on a first requested basis.

From Non-coach to Coach Discovery sessions are designed for individuals at the beginning of their coaching journey, if you are wanting to make a commitment to becoming a coach or starting your own coaching business then click here to find out more and to schedule your session before they all go.

Love

Jen

PS The link to book a complimentary From Non-Coach to Coach Discovery session is here

I’ll show you if I can,

No matter what the circumstances for one thing I’m renowned,

My character is spit spot spic and span,

I’m practically perfect in every way.”

(Practically Perfect from Disney’s Mary Poppins, music by George Stiles, lyrics by Anthony Drewe)

There are certain films that are regularly part of TV schedules during holiday periods. Yesterday was no exception as one of the classic bank holiday films appeared on the UK TV schedule – Mary Poppins.

It’s not just the fact that my expectations were met about what would be on the TV that prompted me to pen this today. While many may not actually follow Mary Poppins lead by describing themselves as “practically perfect” I do often see people place an unvoiced expectation upon themselves that they, and everything they do, should be perfect.

By perfect they normally mean that it should be “faultless.” Yet the origins of the word perfect actually comes from a Latin word to mean completed. Over 600 years ago the word was being used to mean “to bring to full development.”

If you were to look in the dictionary today, one of the definitions of perfect is still “complete, having all it’s essential qualities.”

These two different definitions can make a big difference to how someone experiences a project or their life in general. Now, if using the faultless definition is working for you then by all means keep doing it. However, the most common results I see with this is an increase in the amount of pressure and stress felt. It’s often used with the best of intentions as a motivating factor to produce your best work. It’s as if you would plan to do bad work if you were focusing on just completing a project!

I also see it as something that stops something from being created because it’s not immediately faultless. For example, a writer may constantly be deleting a paragraph of text and not getting any further because it isn’t faultless. Or someone learning a new skill doesn’t put it into practice as they are not yet faultless. Sometimes, there are steps that need to be taken before your best work can be achieved (ie when writing drafting something, followed by editing etc.)

This week I invite you to play with a situation where you have noticed that you are not making any progress.

What would need to happen for this to be completed?

What is the very next step for this to be closer to completion?

Have a week full of perfection

Love

Jen

This was originally posted on www.YourChangingDirection.com

As I was listening to her signals and then interpreting them it reminded me of an often overlooked part of confidence.

The dictionary definition of confidence is

1. Firm trust

2. A feeling of certainty, self-reliance, boldness.

3. Something told confidentially

You’ll notice the inclusion of the word trust in that definition and something told confidentially. Would you be inclined to trust someone who didn’t listen when you told them something confidentially? Most people, when they really think about that, answers no.

How often do you really listen to what you really want? I’m not talking about listening to self criticism here, but actual inner signals? Not only is this integral to confidence but also knowing what it is that you want to take your life to the next level. Maybe it’s a feeling in your stomach when you’re tired and opt to stay out longer, maybe when you look back at a past relationship you had a feeling that it was over before it actually was.

It is not unusual for people to be used to ignoring these inner signals or over-riding them because you think that you “should” be doing something else. Generally the more that you listen to these authentic signals the easier it is to hear them and the clearer the messages will be. It is also far easier to trust ourselves if we listen to those inner signals.

This months exercise is based on a kenisology technique. I invite you to play with the following as a way to start listening to those inner signals and to grow your own trust in yourself.

We are going to set up a definite yes and no response for you to play with. A fellow trainer taught this during lunch a few months back to some of our delegates. One participant went down the desert menu asking herself for each item if she wanted that sweet. The pudding that came back with a yes signal surprised her and she said that she would never normal consider that option. However, she was up for playing with the concept and ordered it anyway. When the dish arrived it looked gorgeous and it was perfectly obvious by the look on her face as she tasted it she adored it!

This is not designed to be a deep therapeutic exercise so if you have any major life changing decisions to make please use your own judgement and use a lighter topic such as what you are going to pick for lunch.

1. Lightly rub the tip of your finger over your thumbnail while mentally excitedly and confidently repeating, “Yes! Yes! Yes” to yourself.
2. Stop
3. Rub the tip of your finger over your thumbnail again, this time determinedly and confidently repeating “No! No! No!”
4. Notice the difference between when you said “Yes!” and when you said “No!”

If you would like a stronger difference either 

• Mentally ask for a stronger signal and repeat steps 1 – 3 being even more enthusiastic with your Yes’s and No’s.
• Change hands and use your other thumb and fingers to repeat steps 1 – 3.
• Instead of rubbing your thumbnail rub the tip of your thumb and the tip of your finger together. Repeat steps 1 – 3.

Most people report that the no signal is “sticky” while the yes signal runs

smoother, however these are your signals so if you have something else then use yours

5. Test the signals you have set up with some easy questions that you definitely know if the answer is yes or no. For example, Is my name ( ) ?

If the signals are coming back confused then go back and repeat steps 1-4 again.

6. Once you are getting strong signals through pick something light hearted to play with – such as what to have for tea or which dvd to watch from a list.

Enjoy playing with this and listening to your own inner signals.

As always, feel free to share your comments on this message with me

Have a fantastic and confident week

Jen