In this week’s guest post experienced coach Frederique Murphy shares:
Expectations: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!
Ever wondered why you feel pain when you don’t meet a goal? or Why you feel good when you do? or Why you feel so good when you reach more? Beyond the rationality of these 3 scenarios, and of course understanding why you would feel pain when not reaching something or feel good when reaching it, there is an actual neuroscientific explanation to what is going on.
When any of these 3 things happen – and you know that these happen all the times, both to you and your clients, in your life, career, business – your brain releases or withdraws dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter, produced in the brain, primarily involved in motivation and reward. When it releases dopamine, you feel good; when it withdraws it, you feel pain. The more your brain releases dopamine, the more you want to keep going and experience it over and over again.
When it comes to you or your clients not meeting, meeting or exceeding something, dopamine plays a huge role. And, all 3 scenarios are linked to the same one thing: EXPECTATIONS.
Expectations are what we think, or hope, is most likely to happen, and whether or not we realise it, we actually have expectations about everything. Let’s break down these 3 scenarios and see what happen when….
- …your or your coachee’s expectations aren’t met: you or they experience a fall of dopamine; it feels painful,
- …your or your coachee’s expectations are met: you or they experience a boost of dopamine; it feels good,
- …your or your coachee’s expectations are exceeded: you or they experience a super boost of dopamine; it feels super good.
As coaches, I believe that the gap between unconscious expectations and conscious expectations is where our potential lies. Work with your clients to help them become aware of their unconscious expectations; this will help them manage their expectations better, and in turn they’ll gain a better control of their dopamine releases throughout the day, thus increasing their motivation.
How will you use this knowledge to better manage your expectations? And, your clients’ ones? I’d love for you to share; this will be helpful for the other coaches. Comment below!
About Frederique Murphy
Specialising in Inspirational Leadership, Frederique Murphy is a mindset strategist who inspires leaders to believe and accomplish the extraordinary. With her Mountain Moving Mindset (M3) platform, she equips you with scientifically-based strategies to take your life, career and business to a whole new level: she makes change happen. With over 15 years of experience in corporate change and expertise in positive psychology, neuroscience and behaviour change, she helps your organisation reap the benefits of tapping into the power of the mind. Frederique is a passionate and charismatic speaker, who captivates audiences – when she takes to the stage, sparks fly and beliefs, attitudes and behaviours will be instilled to create lasting change. For more information on Frederique’s transformational services, visit FrederiqueMurphy.com.
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